I MISS YOU SO MUCH ZAK!!

Well sometimes certain things just HIT! ya in such a strange way. And when I went in to the office today and told your Mom we both just teared up.because Roy can't drive anymore and is coming in Monday to sign the Dog over to us.Your Mom and I just knew who should have gotten this Beautiful diamond of a truck. That you transformed from an old chunk of coal.GOD I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!! LOVE DAD.

I wish you were here, I need you.. And I wish I could just talk to you.. There is not a day that goes by that your not in my thoughts.. I love you so much and miss my best friend.. I love you :(

Happy Valentines Day...................Love you tons!!!!!

Well here it is another 13th of the month.And I'm still missing you and thinking about as I do 100 times a day I love you Zak!!

Have they forgotten????? ............I haven't! I Love you and miss you everyday.

I showed a customer the Dog yesterday,He was in awe!!! Can't believe your gone I still sometimes think it's a nightmare. And I will wake up and you are still with us! I still can not understand any reason why? I sure miss you, love from Dad

I sure miss you!!! Love You ZAK!!!

Well, here it is, the day your baby sister turns 21. Wow, I can only imagine how excited you would be. I still remember your excitement at her graduation day. So hard to believe you only got to spend one more day after that with us. My heart aches everyday thinking about it. Gather all the loved ones together, have Grandpa Earl fry up some potatoes and onions, Great Grandpa throw a steak on the barbque, Great Grandma whip up a cake, and raise a toast to Lexi on her day. I Love You Babe. TTYL

I know for a fact you would be so excited for your sister, Turning 21 is always a big thing.and today is Her day,I know she misses you just like Your bother and Mom and Me well have a corona and toast your little Lexi. Love you Zaky

Happy 29th birthday baby. I love you and miss you tons.

Happy Birthday ZAKY !!! I Love & Miss YOU! every minute of everyday.

Well I'm sure you already knew your great grandpa was going to come and hang out with you. and spend eternity!! I sure wish I could just hang out with you, I sure miss you. well talk to you later Love Dad

Life at the shop sure has changed,Instead of what We had in mind. It became the exact opposite for Me,Life is strange and still complicated in many ways. I Need You ZAK. Love Dad

A new year, wow what does that mean? I'm sorry that I have such a bad attitude love you Zak!!!

Happy New Year to you! No matter how much time passes it still seems like it's all just a bad dream. I still get that feeling that you will be coming through the door at any time. No New Years celebration at our house instead a sad day. I know I heard you yesterday morning, no one can tell me different. It was as real as anything ever. I hope you and Grandpa have a nice visit. In my mind that's the way it should be but I'm not sure it really works out like that. I don't know if we really ever get to be reunited with our loved ones again at least not in the same capacity. I love you babe and I miss you everyday. Talk to ya later.

Hi again, I don't know where my head was the other day but I still remember how to spell your name correctly!! Sorry dude!! Merry Christmas Zak!! Love and miss you lots :0( Missy

All the Christmas rush is over. All the presents are opened. All the food is devoured. All the friends and family are back in their own little happy world. I'm still here, missing you!!! I LOVE YOU! MERRY CHRISTMAS

Your favorite Holiday was always Christmas.This time of year is so tough on us,because We all knew this from the time you were old enough to know what Christmas was. I miss you Zak!! and I know this is now a different kinda meaning for Me. You can now tell Jesus right to his Beautiful face Happy Birthday LORD!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ZAK I Love & Miss you every second of everyday Love Dad

Hello Zak, I know I'm new to this family and maybe havent earned this comment on your wall yet, but I want to let you know that even tho we never got the chance to meet face to face, I still feel like your sister-in-law! I love how you are a huge part of everything your family does! Even tho you are physically not there, you are there, and I am happy to know you threw them! It makes me sad that Carter will grow up not being able to hug his uncle Zak, not have you there to play and laugh with him, it breaks my heart :( but I feel comforted knowing your family will make sure he knows you! stay with us, I love you brother

I miss you every day Zack. Merry Christmas!! Love you Missy

Life without you is like summer time with no sun!!! I Love & Miss you every minute I'm breathing.

Hey Babe! Another 13th UGH! We celebrate you but miss you endlessly. We were driving last night and I looked around and there are Christmas trees up everywhere, hmmmmm.... must be close to Christmas. Year number 3 with no tree for us. Maybe someday my attitude will change but for now it's my deal and I don't really care what others think about it. They probably haven't lost a child. That brings up another thought I have. "LOST"???? Are you lost? I don't think so. You know exactly where you are, I'm the one who is lost. Just the ramblings of a broken hearted parent but you were always so good at listening to all the ramblings. Jean said the other day "can you believe that Lexi is almost 21"? I told her you would be freaking! Your baby sister, that you were / are so proud of, that you and Josh used as a play toy, all grown up. You always bragged about how mature she was even when she was in high school. Just won't be the same without you as with everything else. Sure wish you could see baby Carter Robert. He is sooooo damn cute! His chubby lil face and huge smile. Brady thinks he is awesome. Stacy says he talks about him all the time. Brady is such an amazing kid, he brings smiles to our hearts. I Love you and miss you so much. Talk to ya later.

Hi! Holidays without you suck just so you know. Anywho, I'm pretty swell. My house is just about done, I am dating a guy who I know you would love..I tell him about you all the time and I wish he could have met you. My dog is a freak but he is amazing and he would crack you up! I am going to be 21 this year and we had big plans for that, now I don't think I will be doing anything..it won't be the same without you. I miss you a ton, pleaase keep watching over everyone. I Love You!

I sure miss you!! love Dad

Hey babe, tomorrow is Thanksgiving number 3 :0( It's going to be a small one for us. Lexi will be gone so it will be Josh, Liz, Brady & Carter. It was hard to find a small turkey, I guess everyone usually wants the big ones. I will miss you as usual, there is always that empty chair and emptiness in our hearts. I Love you!!!!!

Hey Zak...gosh it's been awhile since I've been on here and I've been reading your Mom, Dad, Lexi and Kristi's messages and it makes me so sad. Brady's been talking about you a lot, he misses you SO much. He still has the monkey right next to his pillow everynight and no one is allowed to touch it. He's doing really well with his GTube (I am sure you know), he has gained 22lbs and is feistier than ever. He's the most popular kid at school, friends with everyone (he remind me of you in that way) and likes a girl named Rose and he thinks she likes him back. It's so cute how much he's grown up. He got his H1N1 shot last week and we were waiting for the Nurse to come in and he asked Ashton to see if she had a ring on!!! I couldn't believe it. He's such a ladies man! We went to Disney on Ice lastnight and he didn't want to go at all b/c he said it was for girls and babies. Well he was in Aww of the Princess and admitted that he had a lot of fun. He talked about Hockey most the time and had to have a hot dog. Please watch over him Zak and keep him healthy. I love you and please give a sign to your Mom, Dad, Lex, Kristi and Josh so they know you're okay!

Hey Babe! We all sat and watched old videos last night for our 13th. It's so awesome that we have those but so sad that you aren't here to watch them with us. I miss you everyday. I really can't express the thoughts that go through my head. My heart aches thinking about it. I LOVE YOU!

I MISS YOU SO MUCH ZAKY !!!!!! I was watching one of our goped videos I made the other day WOW

I MISS YOU!!!

The Oak Harbor freight guy that had been in at the old shop, was here today admiring the Dog he could not believe how Kool it looks now. he said he remembered it going down the road smoking, tools and parts all over in the back going down the road. he said you sure had a talent,and I said one of a kind knack. I wish I could see you and talk too you, I love and miss you all the time, Love Dad

I think of you always. Yesterday I was at work cutting off a quarter panel and just stopped and was thinking what you were doing right at that moment and wonder what life now is like for you. no worries no pain only beauty and warmth of Jesus' love and strength. I love and miss you Zak

Hi there, I have done a lot of talking about you lately and I thought I should give you an update on everything even though I know you already know. For starters I am buying a house! I promised you I would make you proud and I am doing everything I can think of to keep that promise. Also, I got a dog. His name is Jackson and you would totally love him, he is so sweet! Work is going very well, I still love it. Carter is awesome, he is smiling now and he laughed at me last night. Brady is a freaking superstar, he rocked it on TV and i am sure it's because you were there with him. My life is coming right along, right now I could really just use my best friend.

I miss you so much.. Just thinking about you

I love and Miss you so much. I would give anything to have you back.

I just got in my Mexican blanket for the rat rod seat I gave Ray the Guy I bought the blanket from our web address he had put a note in with the order it said how cool our trucks are that we have built you would have been proud and the blanket is way kooooool also. just thinkin bout you always do I love and miss you Zak there is so many times that it feels like some kind of " RJ in wonderland" and it still feels unreal to Me that your gone from our sights for ever it's sure unfair.

I keep thinking how excited you would have been that Brady was on the Jerry Lewis telethon. You would have called EVERYONE you know to tell them to watch your nephew on TV. You had so much pride in family. It makes me sad and angry that you aren't here to share that. You know the old saying "life sucks", well it just sucks more without you here. I miss you like nobody will ever know. It hurts so bad everyday, never gets any better. I hate it!!!!!! I LOVE YOU. CALL YOUR MOM!

I Love & Miss you so Much!!!

I wonder how many kids you would of had? And what you would have named them? I Love and Miss you ZAK

God Knows how I miss you!! Your new nephew Carter He is so Kool and you would just love him like you Did Brady , Wow how much You will have missed I'm sure where your at your making your own history. It is just sad for us here that we will never get to be with you as we know it here on earth. I Love & Miss you Zak, Love Dad

Just thinking about you... Miss you

Well We did it finally put one of our trucks in the goodguys show and it was ok as always it rained on my parade whats new lifes greater rewards when ever someone flushes I seem to be the Fan!! I love you ZAK miss you for ever love Dad

Wow, rough day! Reality just hurts.

Just wishing you were here so I could pinch your cheeks. I Love You and I miss you every minute.

I love and miss you so much :( Wish you could be here

I Love & Miss you oh so much!!! love from Dad

I just miss you so much :(

HEY BABE, I HEARD THIS SONG LAST NIGHT AND THE LYRICS RIPPED MY HEART OUT, AGAIN! ... i stumbled across your picture today i could barely breathe. the moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief. i dialed your number but you wouldnt be there. i knew the whole time but its still not fair. i just wanted to hear your voice i just needed to hear your voice...... what do i do with all i need to say. so much i wanna tell you everyday. though it breaks my heart i cry these tears in the dark. i write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue cause theres no address in the stars...... now im drivin through the pitch black dark. im screaming at the sky. cause it hurts so bad everybody tells me oh all i need is time. then the mornin rolls in and it hits me again that aint nothin but a LIE..... without you here with me i dont know what to do. id give anything just to talk to you. though it breaks my heart all i can do is write these letters to you. but theres no address in the stars...... I LOVE YOU ZAK, AND I MISS YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERYDAY. I STILL STAND IN THE BACK YARD AND LOOK AROUND AND THINK TO MYSELF THAT ITS UNBELIEVABLE THAT YOU WALKED OUT THAT GATE AND THAT WAS THE LAST MOMENT WE GOT TO HAVE YOU. YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO GROW OLD WITH US. ENJOY YOUR LIFE, PLAN YOUR FUTURE, GET MARRIED, HAVE CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND AND I'LL NEVER GET OVER IT. I DON'T THINK THE MAN UPSTAIRS USED HIS BEST JUDGEMENT. JUST MY OPINION!!

Hey Zak! Josh and I and your Mom got Brady a remote control truck it is wild fast. Brady is just like his Dad the way him and Josh are, they were over at our new Place and making jumps and table tops you would have loved it,and Alex was talking about the gas remote car you gave him.Wow you were always so big hearted.I Love & Miss You so much. our Beautiful grandson Carter Your new little Nephew.We can tell him about you when he gets older you know it will not even come close to the real face to face. Love Dad

Why You !!!

Just wanted to stop by and let you know I am thinking of you all the time... Brady turned 9 yesterday.. We got him a DSi and he loved it.. Can't believe he's already 9.. Keep him healthly.. I miss you a ton

Well I'm taking the Hippo to the goodguys show in a couple of weeks. something you and I talked about doing with some of our trucks for years. I wish you were here some of the great things people have to say about the Dog, Your Ego would fill the shop. I sure miss all we were, and all that would have come your way I love You ZAK!!! miss you every second of everyday. Love Dad

I Miss You every second of everyday. Love Dad

Hey Babe! Well you have a new nephew, I wish you were here to meet him. I remember how much time Brady and his uncle Zak spent together, him riding your pocket bike, you taking him for rides on the lawn tractor. I sure wish Carter Robert would have gotten to meet his uncle Zak. We will make sure he learns all about you as he grows up and I'm certain that Brady will fill him in too. We had a wonderful time in Hawaii, it's like paradise, except for the traffic. YUK! I Love you and miss you!!

When I walked by your flannel jacket yesterday, And we have your truck in the shop fixing the fuel line. I just had to stop. all I could do was just think back and hold back the tears.it's been over 2 years and who ever said time heals, well you know whatever!! I think of all we had gone threw in life and kind of ponder what will become of anything we do here,and why were put here and because everything we do here is nothing in God's theme so all I can tell is it's just a growing thing and God I guess can see more of our character and know what we are and what we can be so if thats the case I know he saw you as quite a fun loving caring beautiful sole, So he put your wings back on and said your as free as a bird now!!! I love and Miss you every minute of everyday,Ill see you again someday tell everyone there Hi from us down here and now you have grandma grace to talk with she was quite the woman down here.Love from Dad

Hey Babe, today is the day, off to Hawaii! We have been talking about this for years. Thanks to Jean for getting married there otherwise we would still put it off as always. I sure wish our whole family was taking this trip together, that would be the best. I'm sure you would love Hawaii, I bet we could have even found a life jacket for you to wear in the ocean. LOL!!! I Love you and miss you, say hello to Grandma Grace. She's up there with you now.

I wish I could be where you are!! I can't seem to do anything right on this shit planet. I miss you and Love you, What makes One person estattic makes another mad, what to do

Hey Babe, had a nice visit with you at your cross last night.I really needed to talk to you. Sorry I don't come by there more often. I Love you, and miss you.

Well Here I am again sitting at my computer, Just listening to some tunes and thinking about so many things that we all did together as a family. Seeing Amanda yesterday at Josh & liz's Reception and just hanging out with Her.Then we were playing free bird and I was watching Her eyes welling up with tears, and I almost lost it to.I sure miss you ever so much,And what you gave to US as a complete family. I often wonder why God can Know Whats going to happen to the rest of a close family like us and how much torment it is going to put us through. and never have a second thought about us here on earth. I will stop wondering Why!!! I LOVE & MISS YOU ZAK!!!!

Tonight's terrible. I don't know how I have made it without you, you're my best friend.. you're the only one I want to see, all the time. Life sucks without you. Please come see me in my dreams tonight.

Hey babe.. God no one ever thinks about writing to their best friend after they have been gone for 2 years... Two years seems like day one. Life will never be the same without you. No one will have have a best friend like you. I love you so much. It was so hard to be at your parents house tonight. Still seems like you should be there... I wish you would have to actually got to know Marty, he is great. I love you more than the world.. XOXOXOXOXO

Zak we miss u more than u will ever know but we all know that u are in the best place in the world and you will always be watching over everyone.

I can't believe its been 2 years on this Earth without you. 2 very empty years. Although we here suffered a great loss...the Lord and those above gained a most kind and beautiful soul in you! I feel so lucky and so blessed just to have had you touch my life...and to still have you looking down on me! I miss you more than words can say! I love you! ~Dizz

Hey babe, where do I begin? On this day in 2007 we were forever changed. I've said it all before but the most devastating thing that can happen in ones life is to lose a child. I think about you everyday. You are my strength and my weakness. There are days I feel that I am unable to cope, unable to go on. Then I see your chubby cheeks, your sly smile, and your beautiful eyes, and I know that although this isn't the way that I want my life to be, I must go forward. You would want that for me. My motto is...."you don't have to get over it but you must get on with it". My heart will ache today as the piece that was broken will never heal. I Love you always and forever.

The Time we had together on this earth was ridiculously short!! The time We spend without you is just ridiculous!! The Lord Giveth and unbeknown to us the Lord taketh away?? I Love & Miss You ZAK!!!

2 years ago today was the last time we spent time together as a family. I will never forget what a wonderful day it was until it all went horribly wrong. Your love and strength lives on inside us. I miss you endlessly, I would give anything to have you back. I Love You! Mom

Hey there. I can't believe you have been gone for almost two years now. Words cannot describe how much I miss you everyday. You will always have a place in my heart. Everything just seems so quiet without you and nothing will ever be the same. June 13th is going to be a hard day to be at your cross but I will be there. Most of the time nothing seems to be fair, it doesn't seem like life should be that why. Why do some of the people we love get taken from us when so many need them? Why are some of the people we love sick when they don't deserve it? I love you so much. XOXOXOXOXOXOX Kristi

I miss you soooooooo much :(

Just wanted say thanks for watching over Dustin yesterday it could of been alot worst we sure miss u everyday also hope u like ur lilacs baylee picked them herself for u

I'm overwhelmed!! Sure wish you were here to be overwhelmed with me. I LOVE YOU!

It never gets easier!!! I will Love and Miss you Till I Leave this earth and see you again in person.Luv you Son!!

Hey babe, I'm missin your chubby face a lot today. I miss it everyday but the feeling is real strong today. It must be the beautiful sunshine and knowing how much you loved days like this. We are coming up on the 2 year mark. it's crazy how much our lives have changed. I miss you so much, everyday, every minute! Talk to ya later. Love, MOM

Hey babe, I don't know what to do about your day this year. It's such a busy summer for everyone and I don't know whether to throw one more thing in the pot. What do you think about you and I just sittin' at your cross and a few cold ones. AWWWWW, the good ole days. Bonfires and coronas! Well if you could just send me some suggestions I would muchly appreciate it, you were always great with ideas. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYONE WILL EVER KNOW!!!!!!!!! MOM

Hey buddy, just wanted to let you know that I love you and was thinking about you. XOXOXOXOXO

I sure would love to see you and talk to you again. You would really like the new cabover truck we are going to replace big blue with pudge he is a 1963 CO1600 wow is this truck koool I Love and Miss You ZAK.

Hi sweetie! So today Brady and I were in the drive thru at McDonalds and Photogragh came on the radio and we blasted it as usual. When the song ended Brady said "Mom I wish we could listen to it again". Just as he said that the lady handed us the 2 happy meals we ordered and I handed one to Ash and one to Brady. Well when Ashton opened his he got Kids Bop 6 and Brady had Kids Bop 5. Well guess what song was on Brady's cd?....Photogragh. It was so weird. We both smiled at eachother and put it in. I had to call your Mom right away. It was meant to be and made Brady really happy, thanks! Love you hope their treating you GOOD! Love ya.

Hey buddy... I still can't believe it's been almost two years.. I think about your family almost everyday... You never prepare yourself losing someone so close to you.. I think about you everyday and still try to replay the night over and over. It makes me sad to know you are missing out on so much with your family... June 13th is right aound the corner yet another sad day.. I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me and I will never forget you and the big smile of yours.. You were such a good friend and will never be replaced. I love you so much Zak.. XOXOXOXO

Your Brother got married yesterday,Your Mom and I knew who should have been here to be his best man!! Chris did a ok job but there will never be anybody to replace who you and you alone will be in our hearts & souls,I sure miss you and all your beautiful spirit. And I know I sound like a broken record but WHY YOU ??? had to leave I will never believe there was a reason at least no reason I will ever understand. I Love & Miss You ZAK!!!!

hey buddy... Gosh I just want to squeeze those cheeks of yours. I miss you more than you could ever know. Life just isn't fair. People say everything happens for a reason but I still can't figure out a good reason they had to take you. I can't believe its been almost two years.. Pretty soon we will all be getting together on June 13th to remember you. The warm weather is coming soon and wish you were here to soak up some of the sun with me... So many things remind me of you. And there will never be a day that I forget that smile of yours. I love you so much.

Hey Zak! Gosh it's been awhile since I have been on...sorry but I think about you everyday. People lie when they say it gets easier. The weather is getting nicer so all the bikes are coming out and it makes me sad everytime I see one. Brady is doing good, getting bigger and funnier everyday. But I'm sure you already know. He misses you a lot! I took him to the dentist yesterday and he's cavity free. I got him a cell phone so when he's with Josh he can call and I can call him. Your Dad sent him a pic of the hippo and he set it as his main display and added Photogragh as his ring tone. He miss you so much. It makes me sad that he never got to say goodbye. I know none of us really did but we got to hold your hand and tell you how much we were going to miss you and he didn't. I miss you more than you will ever know and hope their treating you good! Love you xoxoxo....

Hey Babe! Well here it is that day that you always found so funny, the fact that your parents got married on 4/20. LOL I still believe that 30 years ago the day didn't have that significance. But oh well, even if it did, it's worked out pretty good for us. We've had 30 years of love. We've endured heartache and still been able to keep it together. I sure wish you were here to wish us a happy day. I Love You and Miss you tons!!!

Here we are your Mom and I looking back we have had a good life except for you leaving us so soon, today is our mark 30 years we have been Married and I know the text your Mom or I won't get today. I Love YOU ZAK!!!!

Hey Babe, It's the 13th again. That means 22 months since you left us:-( There are a lot of events coming up this summer, they won't be the same without you. We had a nice little Easter dinner last night, the traditional salmon dinner. LOL! We just hung out, ate, and watched the Chiefs game. I Love You and miss you every minute of everyday. Talk to ya later, Mom.

I miss you babe! The sun is out and the crouch rockets are back. Makes me SAD :o(

I will Love AND Miss You till the day I myself leave this earth I have gotten a little better about crying as much. but I don't think that most people can grasp what we where as a complete family. now with this big part of our soul gone. it will be this feeling from now on!!! Love Dad

Hey Babe, It's another month without you. I still have that feeling that this is just a dream and that I will wake up and you'll be here with your big grin and a giant hug for me. Do you remember what we were doing 9 years ago today? Crazy huh? Oh how life changes! I love you and I miss you so much. Talk to ya later. Love, Mom

I LOVE YOU ZAK.... XOXOXOXOXO

Remember When?? We'll remember when, I love and Miss you Zak!!

Hello Big Brother! I haven't talked to you in awhile and I am sorry. Life is crazy ya know... I got a couple new tattoos from trav, he did great I bet you be pretty close to a sleeve by now. I also got a surface anchor which is pretty fricken sweet.. I miss you a ton. We went to Blake Shelton the other night and I know you would have TOTALLY loved it, He's a blast! Well I need to get back to work now. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVERYDAY! Keep visiting me in my dreams please... it's very nice to get away with you.

Hey love.... Where do I begin. I can't express how much I need you. I miss you so much and can't believe its been almost two years. It just seems like yesterday this all happened. I wish we could go back in time just so I could spend one more day with you. You never prepare yourself to lose someone so close to you. It does make you take a step back and look at life.. And to make sure you let the people you love know it everyday. Its a hard thing losing your best friend. Still wait for a text message from you. I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much.

Hey Babe! It's the 13th again :o( I was lying in bed thinking, it's almost 2 years. I just wanna squeeze your chubby cheeks and hug you. I miss you so much. I Love You!

Another 13th and your still gone,You'd think it gets easier as life goes on and the world rotates WOW!!! who ever thought that has had a blessed life.I love and Miss you every second of everyday I sure wish I could stand face to face with you and just talk again so long for now. Love Dad

Hey Babe, I miss you so much. I wish you were here to talk to. It sucks, it's real life. No one gets it!!!!! I LOVE YOU!

Just wanted to tell you I LOVE YOU and am always thinking about you :(

Another day,week,month,year it's still tough not to have you with us just to talk to you and see you would be so kool, I Love and Miss You ZAK !!

Hey Babe, I had a nice trip to Colorado to visit. the weather was real warm there, but windy! It was a surprise to Mom and Grandpa when I got there. That was fun! Everything around here is about the same as always. We just take things day by day. I am anxious for summer to get here, this snow is getting old and it's so dirty and ugly. The lake and sunshine would be a welcome change. I Love You and miss you tons! Talk to ya later.

I Miss You ZAK and Love You!!!

your so far away!! I miss you ZAK

I went to the hockey game last night with Lexi ans Alex. And he said what he understands the way's of god that we have a purpose Here on earth and when we reach that purpose then God takes us Home to be with Him,You were such a good kind hearted person that I can see why you left us so soon.It still is very hard to take when one of your Kids go before the parents. The world will still miss a lot of what you had to give.Love Dad

Hey Babe, damn it's cold out today. I'm soooooo ready for lake weather again :0) So I am sure that you already know, cuz after all you know everything, but your brother is engaged. I sure wish you were here to meet Liz. You would like her, she's a sweetie and she makes your brother happy. There's not much else going on and I know you get tired of hearing me say how sad I am, so I'll leave that unsaid today. I Love You and I think of you every minute. I'll talk to ya later. SWAK

I got the ZAK tattoo yesterday. and you would be surprised who gave it to me. well maybe not,Travis got all his set up about 2 weeks ago WOW!! he is tatting himself and Brandi your Mom and I were talking last night when Brandi sent your Mom a Couple more pics of there newest tatt's I know by now you would have a couple or so your self because Trav would bug you till he got to give you a couple and your sister got some more of her flowers done Saturday and man do they look good. I LOVE & MISS you ZAK.1 day I will see you again!! Love Dad

I LOVE YOU AND MISS ZAK! I sure wish we could have a do over. maybe God would have taken a closer look at what this has done to us as a family. Your MOM and I talk about WHY!!! all the time. We sure got the smelly end of this deal. Love Dad

HEY! I haven't seen you in my dreams lately and I miss you so you better visit soon!!

Hey Zak...I woke up this morning with a hard tug on my heart strings. I realized your birthday was a few days ago. So Happy Belated Birthday Zak. You are always on my mind. I see so many things in my everyday life that reminds me of you. Your smile, your humor and how you always made me laugh. Miss you lots buddie....Aunt Wendy

Hey love, just had to stop by and wish you a Happy Birthday even though I am a couple days late posting you a message I will never forget the actual day. I love you and miss you so much.

Happy Birthday! 28 years ago today the miracle of you came into our family. I could have never imagined at that joyous time in my life that you would have been taken away from me 26 years later. As I think back at all those birthday celebrations I smile and then I cry to think that there will never be another birthday celebration with you. Now we just celebrate you, without your presence. Today is gonna be a hard day. I want to go to work and have you be there, come into my office and say, "hey Mom! I knew you were here cause I could smell your perfume" I never really thought of that as such a great compliment until you aren't here to say it to me anymore. We take life for granted so often. Then we get our heart ripped out. I miss you so much. Sometimes I just wanna scream! I will never be the same. I Love You! Talk to you later, have a Corona for me!

Happy Birthday ZAK!!! I wish I was face to face with you, to tell you that. I Love and Miss you every second of everyday. What life has to dish out I sure don't want seconds, I believe I am full already.Love Dad

Hey Babe, another month, I can't believe it. We just keep on keepin' on. Your birthday is in a week, I'm pretty sure your sister would try to talk you into a tattoo for your birthday. I sure wish you were here for her to call a puppy cuz you never got any tattoos. I miss you babe, life will never be the same without you. Talk to ya later! Love, Mom

Hey hun, With all the things that are going on with Brady right now, please watch over him and keep him healthy. I love you.

the world misses out because your gone. I LOVE and MISS YOU ZAK

I still can not understand WHY!!!! YOU. I was talking to Roy and it's sad how many people will never get to have a beautiful piece of art work to drive. Because that is what the Dog is a rolling sculpture.It would have been great to see what you would have done to big greenie. Instead we are left with a great big hole in our lives and never get to experience the marvels of ZAK! I LOVE & MISS YOU ZAKY. I look at all the pictures of you growing up and I don't know what to think. Love Dad

Hey Babe! Well here it is 2009, yippee! I wonder how different it would be if you were here. I wonder about so many things. Your birthday is coming up soon, another year that you won't age. From now on you will always have that 26 year old smile, we will always remember you as that young man. You don't get the chance to grow old, and we don't get the chance to see you get married and have a family of your own. It leaves an empty spot, a crack in my heart that will never heal. I Love You and Miss You!!!

Well a new year, It feels just like another day without YOU! I LOVE & MISS ZAK

People never knew just how much he meant to me and you They knew him by name, but it's still not the same His eyes so bright, his smile so wide We always let him know we were right there by his side Now he's gone from me and you Now we have no reason to be blue We loved him, he loved us And we have to try not to fuss He said goodbye and gave you a kiss Now all we can do is reminis Why does God take the best to love Up to that great big world up above? His memory will never leave His kind and gentle smile will always be seen Never forget him, never let him leave your mind Tell him you love him, just one more time.

Merry Christmas. I love you

Merry Christmas! Zaky I would have posted yesterday but for some reason your site was down I know You must be having fun Celebrating Jesus Birthday. I LOVE & MISS YOU Dad

Hey babe! Well it's Christmas eve day, Whoopee! I think it's actually harder this year than last if that is possible. I know I have to pick myself up and go on cause that's what you would want and your brother and sister need me to be there for them too. We are having the gift exchange at our house this year. You would be lovin' that! I don't know for sure who all will be here though, seems that there are alot of issues. Do you like your Christmas tree? It's a cute little guy with alot of ornaments on it. I sure do miss you, your bright spirit, your chubby little cheeks, and your kind heart. Watch over us this Christmas as we will be thinking of you endlessly. I LOVE YOU! See Ya Later.

Oh yeah and your Birthday is right around the corner. :) Love you

Hey love!! Your Christmas tree is so cute.. Your family did a really good job. It was sad to be at your parents house. Is it ever gonna stop snowing for us?? Its sure pretty but I had enough. I miss you so much and i love you. Christmas is just a few days away and i wish you were here. Just wanted to tell you I LOVE YOU... XOXOXOXOXO Merry Christmas

Hey hun, gosh I just miss you more and more everyday... Another Christmas without you and it seems forever since I saw you... I went to a funeral this past Saturday and it made me think a lot about you. I hope you know there's not a day that goes by that your not in my thoughts. I just remember our long conversations on the phone, and I can remember them even going back to when I was 13. I was so blessed to have a friend like you in my life that cared so much about me and my feelings. I'm excited to go watch your family put up your Christmas tree on Sunday. I'm sure your cross is buried in snow :( Well Zak I love you and I just wanted to let you know I am always thinking of you and missing you. XOXOXOXOXOX

Hey Babe! Well this about enough snow!! I bet you are laughing your ass off. I am getting a snow blower today so HA HA! You would love to play with that I'm sure. Just like when I got the riding lawn mower. You kinda took over the lawn mowing duties just so you could ride the mower. I sure miss all that crazy stuff. I look at your picture everyday and I wonder why. Ed is gonna cut a tree down in his yard to put at your cross this Sunday. He's pretty excited about that and I know you would appreciate it. I Love You and I miss you every minute. Talk to ya later!

I Love and Miss You Zak!!! every second of everyday, Life sure doesn't hold as dear to me as it used to.

I'am listening to a book right now that is called the shack! Wow what a insightful book. It is very hard for us to go on with life and not have you here with us. If this book is anything like the Heaven your in, you are the Happier of us all down here. I LOVE & MISS YOU Always!! Your in my every thought of everything I am LOVE Dad.

Hey babe! Just stopping by to tell you how much I love and miss you. Christmas is just around the corner, #2 without you here. I'm sure it will never be the same again. The holidays are really all about spending time with your family and without you here that's not totally possible anymore. We make the best of it, keep all the old traditions going, trying to make new ones. We are going to put up your tree for you on the 21st. We'll hang all last years ornaments and add some new ones for this year. I imagine we will come back to the house and eat and visit after that. I'm sure you would love that. I Love You Babe, see ya later!

I MISS !! & LOVE YOU!! ZAK WHY YOU!! Feels like a life time you have been gone from us. Someday over the rainbow I will see you again thats my promise. Love Dad

I love you.... :(

I just wanted to say I love you and I am thinking about you... Wish you were here for these cold sad Holidays :( Love you Zak

I can't help going back in my mind the three of us going out to the ORV park riding and I sure miss the time's You,Josh and I and sometimes Dustin WOW!!! what a distant memory.I sure do miss YOU! Life sure could have turned out different. I sure miss the old life we had together. I will see you on the other side. Love Dad

Hey Babe! Today SUCKS! I wish you were here so I could talk to you. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and that SUCKS too. People always say that the holiday season is their favorite, I can't say that. I get so depressed, I just wanna curl up and sleep it all away so I don't have to think about it. I want my whole family together, that's all I want for Christmas. I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU, Mom

Here comes all the extra days off and thats all they are now. before your accident I never thought of these as just days off they were happy times and the best part of cold winter days. I try to keep on with life but now days at the shop are just work and thats it. The best part is when customers come in and Roy takes them back and shows them the Dog! and what all the pin striping has meaning wise. And he light's up while telling what all you did to make it so KOOL!! That truck has so much WOW!!! factor, your smiling joking and general fun I MISS SO MUCH!!! I LOVE and MISS YOU ZAK LOVE Dad.

Hey hun... I wanted to stop by and let you know how much I think about you and miss you... It breaks my heart to know your family has to spend Thanksgiving without you. I miss our long phone conversations.. Or me just calling you up to ask you silly little blonde questions like what's On Demand... Or some of our little arguments like the one in the car parked in your driveway and you were so mad at me because I wouldn't let you listen to Garth Brooks. Now of course I regret it even more not letting you listen to it. I miss your random little text messages like Wii want to play, or your sweet ones that said I heart you... I can't even count how many text messages with sent back and forth in one day... I get to go pick up Kaylyn tomorrow and so excited to see her. That night still replays over and over in my head what is this would of happened or what if that would of happened. Its sad how bad things happen to all the good people.. I love you so much XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey babe! You know I often wonder if Lexi's graduation party wasn't also your going away party. You always loved the big family gatherings and as it turned out you got to spend time with a lot of people at once. You got to support your sister and also be the Zak that everyone loved. Was that predetermined? It was a terrible trick to pull on us. It was suppose to be one of the happiest times of our lives and it turned into the worst time ever. Sad how a day can start out so perfect. Celebrating Lexi's accomplishments with all the friends and family and then to have all that wiped away by the worst tragedy that could be imagined. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder why, what went wrong, was it a punishment for us? I miss you infinitely, I would do anything to have you walk through the door or send me a text asking me WHAZZZUP! I LOVE YOU, Mom

Hey babe! Another month gone by, where has it all gone? I always wonder if you are watching down on us, if you can see all the pain in our hearts and the void that losing you has left in our family. We had family pictures taken on Sunday, it's really hard to refer to them as family pictures because you weren't here to be in them. It makes me so sad. I was gonna get those pics done a couple years ago but I never got around to it. shoulda, coulda, woulda! Story of my life. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and then Christmas. It's hard to believe another holiday season without you. One day we will all be together again but until then I will think of you everyday. I cherish all the great memories that I have and I am so glad that we have always been such a close family. I miss you so much! Talk to ya later, Love you always, MOM

Hey you!! Another month has passed without you and it seems forever since you were here with us... I think about you so much and all the fun memories.. Its hard being at home bored becuase if you were here you would be keeping me company.. You are just a special friend to me and i miss you dearly... Love you so much Zak

Another 13th and your still gone.I LOVE -n- Miss You ZAK!! one day I will get to see you again, WOW!!! I wonder constantly if you get to see us down here. Or if God only wants his people to see heaven and happiness as he presence it Love Dad

I don't know why but lately, I just feel your presence constantly in everything I do. I sure Miss you every second of every heart beat. You sure would be as bothered as the rest of us with this new elected IDIOT!! the minute they said this stupid fool had won the election.I can hear you saying the same thing I said to your Mom, I never knew that the USA has so many idiots. Sorry about the ramblings I LOVE & MISS YOU. love Dad

Hey Babe, haven't been here for a while, sorry! It's fall now and not to long until there's snow again. I'm not looking forward to that. I like it at Thanksgiving and Christmas but after that I'm done. It makes me wanna just curl up in front of the fire with Okotoks and sleep. We are having our Thanksgiving dinner with Missy this Sunday as she won't be able to make it over for the actual holiday. Josh is gonna make us all sushi, he does a great job. YUMMY! Lexi even likes it! I think you would too. I know you will be there with us in spirit and you are always in our hearts. I take you everywhere with me. I Love you and miss you every minute of every day. MOM

Another one of your favorite days. and the only thing spooky about it is your gone. And only in our memories do we still get to see you and talk to you, I LOVE & MISS YOU ZAK!!! Love Dad

I miss you tons!!!!

We missed you last night at duhnail's birthday party the top hat podunk. they have a bouncer there that drags his knuckles and looks like sasquatch or alice the goon's boy friend. and Rhonda said the bathrooms were scary lucky we are close to Halloween. nelly was havin fun so that was a good thing. I love & miss you every second of every day love Dad

I miss you soooo much! No one really understands, how much! Part of me is gone :( I LOVE YOU BABE!

I love you!!!!!!!!!!

Hey love!! I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you and love you... You know it's pretty lonely without you... Need some of those Zak jokes about now... Somany things remind me of you and you are always in my thoughts. I really am not ready for this cold weather :)... So many things Im having a hard time with right now everything with my daughter, you are gone and everything that Brady has to go through... God al those things make me so sad :( Well I love you handsome just needed to let you know I am thinking about you.. XOXOXOXOXO

Well another 13th and I miss you more with every passing day, I Love you and miss you not a second ticks by that I don't get bummed out without you here. I love and miss you so much love Dad

Hey Babe! Lexi turned me onto this song and the lyrics say the rest........i'm just so tired wont you sing me to sleep and fly through my dreams so i can hitch a ride with you tonight and get away from this place have a new name and face i just aint the same without you in my life late night drives, all alone in my car i can't help but start singing lines from all our favorite songs and melodies in the air singin life just aint fair sometimes i still just can't believe you're gone and im sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here and if we all believe in heaven, maybe we'll make it through one more year down here feel your fire, when its cold in my heart and things sorta start remindin' me of my last night with you i only need one more day just one more chance to say i wish that i had gone up with you too and i'm sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here and if we all believe in heaven maybe we'll make it through one more year down here you wont be comin' back and i didn't get to say goodbye (goodbye) i really wish i got to say goodbye and im sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here and if we all believe in heaven maybe we'll make it through one more year i hope that all is well in heaven cause it's all shot to hell down here i hope that i find you in heaven cause i'm so... lost without you down here you wont be coming back and i didn't get to say goodbye i really wish i got to say gooooodbye I LOVE YOU AND i MISS YOU EVERY MINUTE, MOM <3

Somewhere over the rainbow.this where you are I'm sure that Gods promise from the top is sure different. But if there is a pot of gold at the end I would rather find you at the other end you are so much more valuable to us. We went bowling after Hockey last night they have a radar for ball speed I remember how hard you would throw your ball down the lane,So I know you would have really loved it there last night. I LOVE & MISS YOU every minute of every breath I take. I will see you again one day. Love Dad

Man oh Man have I been busy!! You wouldn't believe things, I got a new job at a place that actually makes me happy, can you believe that? At the end of the day I am actually proud of myself for what I have done that day, granted no more butt stories but I think everyone is more relieved than disappointed about that. I learned how to work this huge new machine that makes me feel that much more important...called a C-Arm, I know if you were here you would want to hear all about it. I moved into a new house, the people are crazy, the apartment is nice and big though and .... well I am crazy too so I guess I fit right in. I am growing up, right in front of my own eyes. I promised you I would make you proud of me like you always have been and don't think I forgot, I will keep making you proud everyday of my life!!! Everyone that reads the way I talk, well I guess type, to you probably thinks I am heartless for being okay. But that is just what I am OKAY. When I think about you tears fill my eyes because that is all I get is to THINK about you. But, I know you are watching me and you would rather see me smile 10 million times then see one tear fall from my eye and that is what gets me through each day.....

Hey babe! Just stoppin by to say Hi and that I'm missin' ya tons. We all went to see Journey, Heart, and Cheap Trick the other night. I saw Kristi there and gave her a big hug. You would have had a great time, we had some awesome seats too. Dad didn't appreciate Journey to much, he didn't care much for their new lead singer. It was decent though and a good time was had by most. I talked to Baker finally, sounds as if he may come back home on 6 months or so. I thinks he misses it here. I'm sure it'll be hard not having you here for him to hang out with. He hasn't been back since your accident. Well we got Lexi moved again, her second apartment now. She better stay in this one awhile cause moving that bigscreen tv up to the 3rd floor was a big fat pain. Dad and Brandon moved it and Dad said if she moves again that it is stayin there :) I miss you so much, so many little things make me think of you. I envy the families that have all their children to love and spend time with. I would give anything to have that back and some people out there just throw it away or never appreciate it. It'll never seem real to me, that you are gone, it will always seem like someday, sometime, you will just come walkin in and say "call ur mom!" I Love You babe, talk to ya later.

It is just another day without you. I was talking to James today we started talking about How all you Johnson's own your own business's and I told him how we were raised with this attitude, And that is why I told him this is how all my kids were raised and taught. And I told him about how simple it was to teach you how to weld and then how you learned that TIG welder,And how crazy difficult that thing is and how you had it almost mastered.And I told him how much I miss you and he said Me to He sure was a great guy.I love and miss you so much. one of these days I will see you again and this will be a great day for Me.Love Dad

Hey Babe! It's one of those days again, hard to deal with everything. I have this pit in my stomach, it won't go away. I can't move on, I don't want to move on, I want to go back. Seems people go on with their lives, as expected, but we can't and won't. I'm a big blubberin' baby! The worst thing in the entire world that can ever, ever, ever happen is to have your child ripped away. I think back on all the memories and I still can't believe this happened to us. WHY? I just want all of us to hang out, have a corona, eat some grub and be the happy, content little family that we were. I WANT IT BACK!! I want to wake up from this nightmare. I put on a pretty good front, to bad it's all such a facade. On the inside I'm a wreck. I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH.

Hi love!! I need you more and more everyday. I got my wisdom teeth pulled and had nobody to call for chicken noodle soup and gatorade, that's what you brought me when I had a hangover. And it breaks my heart you couldn't be there. Zak why does life have to be so hard?? Wouldn't be so hard if you were here. Well summer almost over but we have had some good sunshine must be your handsome smile. :) I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you as always. I love you so much......

Hey handsome! Another month gone by and still plenty of tears to cry! My mom's birthday was on Saturday...the 13th of course...go figure. For her, another day older, and for you, another day gone...for US, another empty day. My mom was bawling to me on over the phone Saturday night because she said she misses us kids so much and doesn't want to live in Portland. It broke my heart! Please keep a watch over her and keep her safe for me! My heart still aches for you every day Zak! I miss you in my life...like the most important piece to a puzzle! I love you! I'll be seeing you! ~Dizz

Hey Babe! Well the 13th is just around the corner again, the months just float by. We will having your 13th celebration at this newer mexican restaurant, I think you would like it. Great chips and salsa, HA HA! Your sister is on the move again, new apartment, new job, new car, WOW! She is a busy girl, I'm sure she'll be on here to tell you all about it. I had a strange flashback this morning while laying in bed. Remember when you, your brother and your dad were giving me so much crap about not knowing how to DRIVE the old camaro after dad built the motor for it? I showed you guys, pulled out of the driveway, nailed it, burned the tires and you and your brother smacked your heads together in the back seat. You two sat back there crying but scared to say anything cause you told me to do it. I felt so bad. It's funny to think back on, crazy crap that we used to do! I think about you every single minute, still trying to figure it all out. Why bad things happen to good people. I know we are not the only family that has been hit by such tragedy but that's no comfort. I Love You eternally. See ya later <3

Well I live life one day at a time.I am sure this is what I am supposed to do,It is the typical seen I don't look ahead most of the time anymore I sure miss you Zak!! I would give anything to sit and talk to you again.Life is so strange and so distant most of the time,I'm not sure how to take life. Or at least anything like I used to.I look at pictures of you 3 kids as you were young and just full of life.And I know now you are gone, it is so hard on the rest of us. I love and miss you Zak someday I will see you again.

Hey Babe, just dropin' by to say hi! It's been a few days since I been here, sorry! It looks as though summer is coming to an end, YUK! I guess all good things eventually come to an end. You know that no matter how much I try to keep my chin up there are still many days that I would just as soon stay in bed. When I dread going to the shop cause I know that your chubby, smiling face won't be there to greet me and tell me about all your new ideas for some project. I don't know where you came up with all the crazy ideas! BTW, I still need that gate across the driveway. I sure would you would hurry up and get that done for me :) Sad thing is that I know that you would have it done, all I had to do was ask and presto! Next thing I knew you would be asking me to come and check it out. That is if it was made of metal, if it was something else then you would procrastinate as long as possible. I like to refer to that as pulling an RJ! HA HA! I Love you and I miss you every minute. Talk to ya later. Mom

Zak, today is my parents' last day at work. They're moving to Portland on Monday. It's gonna be so difficult to say goodbye. Sure wish you were here to cheer me up! Please watch over them for me and keep them safe on their drive over and while they're far from home. I wanted more than anything for you to meet them before you had to leave us. I wanted them to meet the amazing person and friend that had such an impact on me. Someday... I love you and miss you so much still every day! ~Dizz

...and hey!!! Send the sunshine back!!! LOL

Hi friend! I'm so sorry I haven't written in a while...it certainly doesn't mean I've forgotten about you. Life is just so empty without you Zak. It doesn't seem fair! One of the things I miss the most is your texts you used to send me all day while we're at work. You'd also always send me pictures of the work you'd done on The Dog. You were so proud! It was amazing the talent you had in those fingers of yours! I remember you used to tease me and say you had more talent in your pinky finger than I have in my whole body. Gosh, you made me laugh! You were unlike any friend I had! I hope I leave just even half the impact you've left on the people in your life when I'm gone! You know somethin funny...my sister got married 2 weeks ago and last night I was sitting and talking with her husband and he told me he's a Democrat. Oh geez! All I could think was, Zak would be sooooo disappointed and would give this guy so much crap!!! LOL!!! I miss you Zak...your giant heart...your amazing personality and ability to make EVERYONE laugh...I miss it all! I can't wait to see you again someday! I love you! ~Dizz

Hey love!!! You sure have been bringing us some rain. I dont think my life will ever be the same without you. I miss all your jokes and you BIG heart. I love you so much and some days seem so long and sad without you. Words will never describe how much my heart aches your no longer with us. I sure need my best friend ya know. I just wanted to say hi and I love you so much. I think about you everyday. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Love Me

I Missed your text on my birthday 2 years so far I guess I will get use to you being gone, never to be seen by my human eyes I love and miss you Zak. Love Dad! maybe one day we will talk again.

Hey Babe! Well it's Dad's birthday today sure wish you were here to celebrate with us. It's never going to be the same without you. Dad made a lasagna dinner for Josh's girlfriend Liz last night as it was her birthday yesterday. It was alot of fun, she's a sweetie, you would like her. It's coming up to another 3 day weekend YIPPEE! We will go hang out at the lake and Brenette and Ed are going to come out too. It should be a good time. Hopefully the weather will be nice. I Love you and miss you always! Talk to ya later.

Hey hun.... As you have seen I've been to your cross alot lately.. I miss you so much and you will always be in my heart. It's so horrible that you didnt get to live the rest of your life, you would of made some wife very happy and had kids.. It breaks my heart to thing about everything and it's just not fair. We were suppose to get married Zak.. lol...I will be with you one day...I love you so much and think about you everyday and wish you could be here. Some days are harder than others but on the hard days I just think to myself how you never liked to see me upset and it helps me get through the day. Why couldnt we all went to the Star bar that night.. That night replays over and over in my head. Its really hard for me to believe everything happens for a reason because I dont see a good reason for you being gone. How could it be so many people are hurting to see your face and wish they could see you standing there again. Listening to all your smart butt comments cause you always had one for everything. I wish I could go to Red Robin with you, drink a Corona with you..... I love you so much and you are always in my hear forever.Love you...... XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey Zak it is sure tough to show customers your artistic view and that of course is the Dog and to tell them you never got to see it drive down the road.But what makes me feel really good is when Roy says Zak is with me every time I am in the Dog. He told a customer the other day that your one of the finest young men he ever knew. made me feel so good! I don,t understand alot about life like I thought I did i think life is really sad with you gone. and I sure have my moments,When getting on with life is so different. I see things that we started a couple of years ago and just wish we could go back then when you were still here,i love and miss you so much. I wish I would have told you this and if I had one day to tell you all the things you have missed out on. and that our family misses you more than you could understand. love Dad

Hey Babe, some days are almost impossible. 30 seconds can change your entire life. I wish you could go fishin' with us and argue with your sister about who can catch the biggest fish. I miss it all soooooo much. I Love You Babe, Talk to ya later!

Hey there!!! You seen my new whip yet??? Pretty sweet huh!?! I Love it, I know you do too.....I can just picture the look on your face when I drove up to your house in my first car and honked the horn, you came out and thought I was lying that it was mine!! Well I love you and miss you everyday... We are having dinner tonight for you of course!! You would really like this place that we go to...it is so you! Miss you big brother!!

Hey Babe, you know sometimes I get this instant knot in my stomach and I think you are never coming home again. I still can't believe that is true so I just won't believe it. No one really gets it, how it feels to have this giant void in your family and in your heart. We will always wonder why this all happened. Why you were taken from us at the peak of your life. It feels like we just got to that point...... you and Josh grown and on your own and Lexi just graduated and on her way, and then BAM!!! It all came tumbling down. My heart goes out to all those that have lost a child. It's an unbearable feeling. I Love You and I Miss You Tons. See Ya Later, MOM

How weird to relate a food to just ONE person! Every time I see or eat something with jalapenos on it, I only think of you! It was always jalapeno burgers...pepperoni and jalapeno pizza...ANYTHING with jalapenos! Who knew that jalapenos could make me smile so much! I love you Zak and miss you so much!!!

I miss you oh so very much Zak. I have been driving the Hippo off and on for a few weeks now. I Wish you were Here to drive Him it is the coolest thing i have ever built, and way cooler to drive,I sure miss you and My mind set is so much different anymore with you gone, I have a certain little tinge and so many times when I just don't care about things around me. And I have to tell myself that you would not want me to be that way and not care. The goodguys thing is this weekend and I am not sure if I am going.Your Mom wants to go to our new lake place and I am thinking she's right. I have to go, talk to you soon Love Dad.

I sure miss you and all the plans we had together. I sometimes think God must have had something against me to have taken you from Me,Life just sucks and nothing I can do about. Except bend over and take it like always. I am so sorry your gone and I'm just venting I love and miss you Zak,and thats every minute of everyday. Love Dad

Dude! Today was the second annual car show in your name! You would have been impressed. Sitting back and watching all the people that check out the DOG and hearing the comments that they have is incredible. I am honored to be able to tell people that my buddy built that from the ground up. It turned out amazing and wish that you were here to hear the gossip about the truck you built...it will always be one of a kind! The truck your dad is building that he dubbed THE HIPPO has turned into quite the head turner as well! Lookin back man i cant believe that it has been over a year. I have a hard time believing it sometimes actually. When I go into the shop I always think about the old days ridin the quads and peds in the old shop...those were the good ol days uh! I look forward to raising my zakery, he is already so big. Coming up on eight months the little shit will be walkin soon already, the time goes way too fast and you never know whats in store for tomorrow. I just hope that my son turns out to be as great of a person as the Zakery he was named after. Im super stoked to say that i have been given the opportunity to build or should I say help build the 62. I have so many ideas for it and I want to make you proud with what I have in mind...I'll keep you posted. All in all man, things are going ok. I never had too many friends and when you lose one it hurts, I miss you brother and will never forget the times we had!

Well today is your car show hopefully we will have a good turn out. we sold the old lake house and are now white trailer trash and proud of it. I can't believe that you have been gone for over a year it still feels like an eternity. I would love for you to be here face to face so we could talk.I Miss you oh sooo much.life sure should have turned out different.I love and Miss you Zak love Dad.

Hey Babe! Tomorrow is your car show, we will have a good one for you. You would be so proud :) I will take lots of pictures for all to see. I LOVE YOU! I just wanna squeeeeeeze your hand and tell you that I love you! See Ya Later, Mom

Hey babe, I miss you soooo much! I sure wish you would just come back home now. Your smile would light up my world! :) I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER, Mom

We got a new lake house we are next door to shake.Your Mom and I talk about all the good times we had at the old lake house and we know how much you would love the new place.It is smaller but way more fun because we have a nice sand beach and a high dive and your sister has some funny little cute girls following her around like she used to do to you and Josh,I sure do miss you and wonder how you are in your new place.our car show for your memory is this saturday I know your are always with us in spirit it would sure be nice if this car show was for some other cause and you were still here.I love and Miss you every minute of everyday. Love Dad

Hey.. I think about you so much everyday and I love you and miss you to death. We talk about you all the time and need you everyday.. :) love you

Hey love!!! I really need you right now more than ever. I can't do this without you anymore. It's my birthday on Thursday and I wish you coud be here. You were so special to me and I am so lucky to have you as a best friend. I think about you everyday and you will never be forgotten. I feel that life isn't fair and why does bad things happen to good people. Good people like you. WHY?? I guess I will never understand and I ask that question every single day.. I just needed to tell you how much I miss you and love you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Love you Zak

Hey Babe! Well it looks like the lake house is finally sold, just crossing our fingers until closing in a couple weeks. It's a sad place to be, so many memories out there. I hear your laughter every time I go there. We will start new memories now a little further down the road. It won't be the same, but nothing has been the same for over a year now. We just take one day at a time, always with you in our hearts. Your car show is coming up soon. You would be so proud that all of this done for you. I sure wish you were here though and that this was just a good ole car show instead of a memorial car show. That word still gets me. When I think of memorial, I think of an elderly person that passed and an event has been dedicated to them. It's not suppose to be for my 26 year son who was taken away from me. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry, NOT! I Love You and I miss you so much. See Ya Later, Mom

Hey love!! I just wanted to let you know that I love you very much and it breaks my heart to know that your gone. I miss you more than words can describe and Im not sure how to go on without my best friend. I just needed to say that I miss you. Love you Zak XOXOXOXOXO

We did it with you always looking over my the maiden voyage of the Hippo the day before the 4th of July to drive this truck was so kool. I told Roy you would just dig driving him he is quite the truck I just wish with all my being you could be here to show off the dog well guess I better go get my hair cut your mom is hounding me I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday Zak!! love Dad

Hey Babe! Well summer is off and running, life continues to go on around us, and the holidays come and go. The 4th was pretty quiet around here, just Josh, Lexi, their significant others, and a few others. It's hard to believe that another 4th of July has gone by without you here. But then it's hard to believe that everyday goes by without you here. I am reading this book called The Lovely Bones. Lexi had been bugging me to read it for a long time, it really makes you think about what happens to someone you love after they die. I talk to you all the time, not just here on this board, but everywhere, all the time. I wonder if you hear me and if you see me when I cry. I miss you so much everyday. I Love You, Mom.

Good afternoon love!!! Hope you had an amazing 4th wish you were here to celebrate with me. Zak you will never know just how really hard this is.. It's just not fair I use to believe in everything happens for a reason but I don't anymore. You weren't supposed to be taken from us. We are very lucky to have you watching over us and making sure we are all ok... I love you so much and miss you

Hey Babe, just wanted to say Hi! Did you ever feel like you were living someone else's life? Well, I feel that way. This isn't the way my life was going to be. I was going to grow old with my husband and my 3 wonderful children. Then on June 13th, 2007, that all changed. It still feels like a dream, I will wake up and it will all be back like it was. Never without trials and errors, but "WHAT IS PERFECT", it's all in your perception. My little perfect included all of us, no matter what was happening, we were a family. We will be having a little BBQ for the 4th, nothing big. That would annoy you, the bigger, the better, in your opinion. Get the whole damn family, that was your motto. I Love You and miss you so much!!!!!

Hey handsome!!! Well I can't believe it's already July but it seems so long since we had you here. Feels like a million years. I will be watching some fire works for you on Saturday... I wanted to say Happy 4th of July since I will be out of town for a few days. I am always thinking about you and I love you more than you know. Miss you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :)

Hey love!!!Thank you so much for all the amazing sunshine but I wish you were here... I just wanted to say hello sunshine and let you know I was thinking about you. Love you XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey Zak just stopped by to say I Love You!! But you already new that because I tell you that I love you and miss you all the time one day I can ask God why he took you so soon from us here on earth and maybe understand why. I Love and Miss you every second of everyday I will see you again someday.Love Dad

Hey love!!! My heart aches for you today. I miss you and love you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I think of you often and make no outward show, But what it means to lose you, no one will ever know You wished no one farewell, not even said good-bye, You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. You are not forgotten nor will you ever be, As long as life and memories last, I will remember thee. To some you may be forgotten, to others a part of the past, But to me who loved you dearly, your memories will always last. Nothing can be more beautiful than the memories I have of you. To me, you were someone special, God must have thought so too! If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane, I would walk all the way to Heaven, and bring you back again.

Hey mister!!!! I drove by your house today. You have no idea how bad I wanted to stop and walk in that door and you would be there and I could picture your bike sitting in the same spot in the kitchen. I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you.. Love you XOXOXOXO

Hey love!!! Wow was June 13th a hard for me and everyone that loved you so much. I will never know how to go on without you.. How do you just accept that your best friend is gone forever. Your mom told me told me that you cared about me so much. Darn it Zak we were gonna get married!!! I remember always joking with you about it and your face always getting bright red. Why couldnt we just all went to the Star bar like it was planned. Why?? It was so hard to see your mom in tears on your 1 year day.. There were so many people there that love you and will never stop. I have just been trying to avoid you being gone and it really hit me the week before June 13th. I was a mess and can never just accept it. Did you like all the green and orange ballons?? Did you see Lexi dancing for all of us?? You never deserved any of this, there is nobody else in this world like you Zak.. Nobody will ever take you place. I love you so much and need you on so many days. I know you were really sad before you left and I wish I could of took the pain away for you. I tried to be there for ya everyday like when you would sleep on the big couch and me on the little so you didnt have to stay alone. That was not to long before all this happened. I miss you so much and my heard aches for you. I could go for a Zak text message right now or you coming to visit me at work and playing with all the phones sending people random text messages which you thought was so funny. Everybody remembers you from work and they say he always brought you lunch... You always did things for me when I was upset or sick you just always wanted to help. And never liked to see me upset, it almost hurt you to see me upset. You are such an amazing person and Im so sorry you didnt get to live the rest of your life with all of us. So many of us just need you right now.... I dont know how anybody has this gets easier because they are full of crap.. It will never get easier just gets harder the more time goes by. I remebered June 13th last year such a sad day we went to yout house that night and I laid on the little couch with your blanket when so full of dog hair and my allergies were going crazy and I couldnt breathe but I didnt care. Baker was there to take care of me. I worry about him but I know your watching over him. Last time I talked to him he was pretty upset. Make sure to watch over Dustin too I worry about him too.. I love you ZAK so much.. XOXOXOXOXO KRIS

Sorry I missed your half birthday! I Love You Tons and Tons, Mom

I was Just stopping by to say I LOVE and MISS You ZAK!!!!! who ever said time heals never lost a fantastic son and a part of them self's with there son! see you again on the other side love Dad.

I thought about you A LOT today!!! I miss you more than words can say! Love you! ~Dizz

Hey Babe! Sorry 'bout Friday night. Guess I was due, but ouch! BTW...it didn't make it all go away like I was trying to make it do. I LOVE YOU TONS.........

You were more loved and needed than you could even realize! you really help make the world a better place,My heart will never heal the empty spot where you used to be.I love all of my kids so much,You impacted my life by being around you, so much of the time.our trucks were a big part of what we have always been about,You loved the automotive from a very young age just like I always was.It was in my blood.and it infected you. the dog is such a beautiful sculpture that rolls down the road what you did for Roy he is in love with that truck so much. I wish you could be here like I had always told you the feeling you would have gotten over your creation would have given you a bigger rush than that stupid bike would have ever done. I LOVE and MISS you every minute of everyday. Love Dad

June 13, 2008 7am - Mornin Zaky. So I can't believe it has been a year since you left us. I still miss you everyday. It is going to be hard for me to finally open up and really share my heart on the site (Not that I will say anything on here that I haven't already told you and God many times, I guess it's more for my own healing and grieving process than anything), but if I'm gonna put it out there, it's gonna be today. As you know, Randy's sister had her baby this morning (Emalie Rose) and I'm not sure how I am "supposed" to feel about it. It's hard to explain the feelings going thru me right now. I am trying to be excited for them yet at the same time I am upset that you will be sharing this day with someone else in my life. I know that is really selfish of me, and I'm sorry but this is your day and I don't want anything to take away from that. I guess I still have some growing to do in this process. And I know what's even more selfish is that if it was someone in our family being born today I would feel different about it and I would be so excited. Our family is different tho, we are very close and we love to share special days with one another. You know that I go by your cross at least 4 times everyday and when I start to cry I feel God speak to my spirit and remind me that He loves you so much that he would not make you suffer, and that it's not about Him punishing us at all, but about Him loving you and all of us so much that He gave you the choice to end your pain and suffering even tho it meant you had to leave us for a little while (I know you haven't left us and that you are watching over us, but you know what I mean). It hurts to live in this world without you, but it would be so painful for all of us to have to watch you suffer the physical and emotional pain that the damage to your body would have caused you. When it first happened I was so mad at God for taking you from us, that I kept asking Him for an explanation. "Hasn't our family suffered enuf?" I would ask Him, and then I had that dream where you survived and it was absolutely unbearable for all of us to watch you go thru such horrific pain and complications from the accident and the surgeries, and I remember the way I felt in the dream and I was so angry at God that He would let you live in that condition. In the dream I was screaming at Him "Why would You let him suffer like this God? WHY? He doesn't deserve this!" When I woke up I just cried and chatted with Aunt Lor about it. It has taken a year for me to be able to share it with anyone else. It also took me a year to get to the point where I could see that your choice to leave us was a selfless act. You are such a strong person that you would have endured any amount of suffering that could have been bestowed upon you, yet, your heart is SOOOOO BIG and you love us so much that you wouldn't put us through the pain of watching someone we love so much go through such pain. And not only that, but the lives you saved with your organs and the blessings you brought those people's families by giving their loved ones life. It was the ultimate sacrifice Zak! You sacrificed your own life to save others and spare your family from helplessness and heartbreak. You know I think about the months preceding Grandpa Les' death and the pain and suffering he endured and that overwhelming feeling of helplessness watching him go through months of that hell. And I remember going to into the chapel at Holy Family before they moved him to the nursing home and crying out to God, "Why are You letting him suffer God? Can't You lift this pain off of my Papa? Please God, do something, I can't watch him suffer like this anymore." That feeling of wishing you could take his place, the pain of watching someone you love so much suffer is far worse than being the one who is struggling to live. And tho I tell you all the time that I understand your choice and I still love you, today, I am ready to THANK YOU. THANK YOU for the lives YOU saved, THANK YOU for always putting others before yourself, and MOST OF ALL ZAKY, THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY LIFE AND BEING SUCH A BLESSING TO EVERYONE WHO KNOWS YOU NOT ONLY IN LIFE, BUT ALSO IN DEATH. I love you so much and I will forever admire, love and respect you for everything you've done, every life you have touched, and EVERYTHING YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. And tonight we will celebrate just that!! ZAKERY ROBERT JOHNSON - IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER!!!! Love You Cuz ~~~~~ Nelly - June 13, 2008 1:06pm

I sit here today just waiting for the big Luau tonight at your parents house for you, Zak, and i see your picture taken at the last big BBQ at your parents house. You were wearing that green shirt from AE that says "an awkward morning beats a boring night" and i remember giving you such a hard time about it. I asked if you had ever had an awkward morning and of course you said no and i said well you need too :) we both laughed and knew that it wouldn't happen, you were better than that. I love that shirt and you wearing it made it even better, especially to your little sister's graduation party. I can't beleive that one whole year has passed since we have seen you. I so wish that night would have turned out the way YOU wanted it - we would of all just went to the Star bar and made fools of ourselves, i wouldn't have said that we couldn't go, Lori & Troy would've went and you would of just told Kristina to meet us there since we would of already been headed there....dang it Zak I want a do over! Your mom and i were texting pretty early this morning and she was already at the store picking up stuff for tonight and I know that all she really wants is just to get a text from you wanting to know what you could do to help her not if I needed anything :( I know that your parents are struggling today to put on happy faces and a good time at their house so please just look over them and everyone tonight as we all celebrate what an awesome person we lost WAY too soon. I love you! PS - Thank you for the sunshine today :)

Wow, 1 year without you...I don't wanna go another. This has been the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with, so I can only imagine the pain your family must feel...losing a son and a brother...a piece of themselves. It's going to be so nice to see them and hug them today! Just in the short time we became so close as friends, you made such a huge impact on my life Zak! You have such a huge heart and I feel so lucky just to have been loved by you as a friend and still to this day, have you watching over me. Come join us tonight. I'll have a Corona...or 2, just for you! Love you! ~Dizz

this has been the longest and the shortest year of my life. I miss you in so many of the things your Mom and I do We have had a tough time of it the shop will never be anything like the way it was when we first moved in to the new shop it was like a new start to our lives and now it is a tough day by day struggle to keep up I depended on you so much and you never let me down now everything I do seems to have a let down because most people do not understand what we were going to do and were we were going to take our new found venture.and life at home is so much of a odd feeling you used to come over at least 3 nights a week with the dogs and we would eat some dinner and take the dogs for a walk up to the park and the hikes and outings we all would go on was just plain FUN!! I think if there was ever a time where God made a mistake it was taking YOU from US!! I never have to worry about getting dust in my eyes because the tears keep them clean. I LOVE and MISS You oh so very much ZAK! LIFE IS TOUGH WITHOUT YOU!!!! Love Dad

Will you please help me through the day tomorrow, like you always did. Helping me prepare and doing last minute things for me. I was in the yard today scooping poop and thinking that you should be here doing this, NO REALLY! you should have been doing it cause I was gagging the entire time. I try and make light of it but so many things remind me of you, yes even scoopin poop! One of your favorite things to do was have a big group of family and friends over for a BBQ, volley ball and a few beers. Well, tomorrow we will do it up good in Zak style. I know you will be here in spirit and will be watching over us but I would give anything to actually have you here. The "DOG" will be making its debut with all its new paint, striping, and taneau. Roy is sure proud of that truck you built for him. My heart hurts so bad tonight. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. See Ya later, Mom

We're letting go of balloons at your cross tomorrow! If I put a kiss in one of mine will you catch it and drop one back to me?! He he! Love you Zak! Muah! ~Dizz

WHY? that says it all...............I LOVE YOU and miss you!

Oh and one more thing! When I got the invitation in the mail from your mom for the celebration we're having for you...she had put "DIZZ" on the envelope. It put the biggest smile on my face!!!

A year ago on this day we were all piled in a hospital waiting room praying for you to come back to us...or rather, sitting next to your bed holding your hand. I just remember looking at you and thinking, "Please please please wake up Zak!" But something in my heart told me that you weren't really lying in that bed anymore...you weren't in pain any longer...like you were already looking down on us telling us not to cry...and that you were in a better place. I could feel it! I'd never felt such a powerful feeling come over me! I just remember the pain was unbearable...being able to physically touch someone you love, but that wasn't really THERE. You're still in that same great place watching over us...the only difference now is that we can't physically see you. But don't think for one second that means I don't remember exactly what you look like with that big beautiful smile and the exact sound of your voice! I would give anything just to see you and hear your voice again! Not a day goes by that I don't still think about you and miss you with all my heart! I love you Zak! Can't wait to see you again! ~Dizz

Well it has been 1 year since I've heard you laugh, seen you smile, felt your huge hugs. I keep replaying the day in my head, from beginning to end. You arrived at the house to see if I needed help with anything, began tidying up the yard for Lexi's party and sent your usual dozen or so text messages to make sure everyone was still coming. The day seemed to go so well, the rain stayed away, and so many people came. You spent the day visiting with everyone which of course includes a lot of teasing and the normal Zakisms. It really was the most tragic ending to a wonderful day. I can't believe how your life can change in the blink of an eye. I was so busy picking up all the food and stuff, I looked out the slider and saw that your bike was gone. I had a little twinge in my stomach and the next thing I knew Kristina was calling me to tell me you had an accident and to come quick. The visions are still so clear in my head, from that moment all the way 'til the words ORGAN DONOR were spoken to me. I remember being with you when you got your ID card, they asked if you would like to be an organ donor. You looked at me for direction, all I said was "I am, but it's up to you". Then of course you told them yes. I never EVER expected that to be used. There are people out there that are so lucky to have a part of you in them. In my opinion "God must have spent a little more time on you". You had the most amazing heart and I miss you so much. I LOVE YOU ZAK!

Hey love!!!! I've been thinking alot about you lately, will I do everyday but the closer it gets to one year the worse I get. I can't believe we've went a year without you, it seems like a life time and I keep asking myself WHY?? Why did this happen to you? A person that didnt deserve anything like this. That night keeps replaying in my head, me getting to your parents house and I was upset you gave me a hug and told me not to be upset, you were always so concerned about me. You made me a plate of food well I should say a plate of meat. I was sitting on your parents couch and Brady in his wheel car next to me we were playing the Wii. You and Christina came to the slider door to tell me you were leaving. I was kinda mad at you for leaving me there. Me getting a Text message from you saying going 125 down Upriver was awesome. We all had made plans to go to the Star for our routine Sunday night Karokee night at the Star. I remember my phone ringing about 5 times in a row and getting up and hearing my sisters voice telling me that you had an accident. I didnt want to leave your side, I just wanted to hold your hand forever. Sitting there just wishing you would open your eyes. I know you are still with me I just wish I could see you, I know you are watching over me please never stop because I still need you best friend. I wish I got to spend more time with you. You will always be in my heart Zak. Always and forver and I love you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Love you ZAK

Hi love!!! Words can never describe how much I miss you. Its gets harder and harder that each day goes by. I can't believe its almost been a year. It still seems very hard to manage without you. You were the most amazing person I have ever meant. XOXOXOXOXO I LOVE YOU ZAK

Hey Babe! I sure could use your contagious smile, one of Dad's famous margarita's, and a few dozen Zakisms right now. It's a crappy day outside and it's a crappy day inside. Could we just hang out and b/s for a while? I miss those time unbelievably. I Love You, Zak. Where did it all go wrong?

I miss you! Tonight, I drove down crestline right by your house and thought to myself...I wish I could hang out with my brother!!! Writing a message like this brings tears to my eyes! You were my best friend... and I miss having someone I could count on all the time. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!

I don't need a day to remember you I have the rest of my life and a lot of memories I was telling your Mom yesterday I was cutting down this little tree in the yard.And remembering You and My Dad your Grandpa Les and told Your Mom, He taught us a lot He may have gotten grumpy a few times but for us it was a learning process, I Love and Miss You ZAK! And I will see you again someday. Love Dad P/S I know You and Grandpa Les are having a great time together.and your Grandpa Earl is going fishing with you.

I woke up this Memorial Day thinking of our loved ones who have gone on before us. In my time of prayer, I believe God gave me a verse and a message for you from Zak. For God so Loved the World that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. John 3:16 Zak accepted Jesus into his heart as a young boy. He is in heaven and very happy. Although life here is hard without him, there is a hope and a promise for each and everyone of you. Life here on earth is but a blink of an eye compared to eternity. If Zak could shed a tear for you he would but there are no tears in Heaven, only Joy. His hearts cry is for you to MAKE SURE you know and accept Jesus in your heart, just as he did, so that your future together is set. He desires that you live out the rest of your days in peace and happiness knowing he is in a better place and that one day you will no longer be separated, but will have forever to be together. "Please, PLEASE!!! Do not be angry with God anymore. Trust Him, Turn to Him. Turn to Him! It is our only hope of ever being together again." Zak

Memorial Day.........I will always remember you, my beautiful son. I Love you and miss you infinitely.

I find myself thinking about you at least 50 times a day, then sometimes it just hits me. You really won't be coming home. My feelings are always the same, how did this happen? How can life change in an instant? Can I have a do over? What would I do different? I don't know that, but I do know that I would give my life for any of my children. 1 year is fast approaching, I have aged plenty in the last year. I think of things so different. The petty things that people worry about, the things that people get angry over, and feel sorry for themselves, all those things are really put in perspective now. I want to say "WAKE UP WORLD", be thankful for what you have and don't take it for granted, you never know when it can end. I love you and miss you babe! See Ya later, Mom

Would it be possible for you to hold my hand as I drift off to sleep tonight? But this time, if I squeeze could you please squeeze back!

Friendship can last forever...even when it doesn't.

Zak, I find myself needing your friendship more than ever these days. For you to kiss me on the forehead and tell me everything is gonna be ok...like you used to do. I just can't seem to do anything right lately. I feel lost and out of place! I keep screwing up it seems. I need your advice. You used to always tell me what I needed to hear, whether it was going to hurt me or not. That's what a best friend does! Like when I'd hang up the phone on you...you were always the one to call back...and you know what you'd say? "What are we, in grade school Kay?!" Still makes me laugh to this day...you are so right! And we could be in the biggest argument...but by the end of the day you'd be texting me like crazy with the most loving words until I just couldn't ignore you anymore. LOL! I've yet to find a friend that gives me as much care and comfort that you did Zak. Not a day went by that you didn't let me know how much you loved me. Thank you for loving me Zak! You can never be replaced! It's been almost a year now that you've been gone and there's still an empty space in my heart. It will always be there for you...until I get to see you again someday. I think of your family everyday, and my prayers go out to them! I know you're watching over us all! I love you and miss you with all my heart! I'll be seeing you Zak!

I'm not sure what else there is to say.I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday,Your Mom and I moved the green house to the other side of the yard, And I told your Mom Zak would have Loved doing this we both knew it. You would have been all game for the things we are doing in the big yard. I love you ZAK!!! from your Dad

11 Months. I Love You and I Miss You Soooo Much, MOM

My mothers day began with me waking up and staring at your ashes sitting on my dresser. Mothers Day??? This isn't how it's suppose to be. I remember last mothers day. It was a sad day for you, the day that Amanda moved out. I felt so bad for you, just wanted to make you feel better and see you smile that huge smile of yours. Now I only have those memories and still, almost one year later, I wonder WHY? Why does god hate me, what am I being punished for? How can he give you these beautiful miracles, called children, and them rip them away from you? He lets you carry them for nine months, love and protect them, just to tear your heart in two by taking them away. How can mothers day, or any other day, ever be the same? I Love You and Miss You so much. See Ya later, Mom

You should see Doggie Style is it's new name what a beautiful truck you built Roy is past words and I can't say as I blame Him. the picture on the tailgate and the pin stripes are so Kool You should be here to hear the praise it is getting and going to get,I miss you ZAK and Love You!! life will never be the same and will always be odd and strange

Its your big smile that has given us that nice sunshine.

You didn't have a chance, to say goodbye, to live your life, or give me one last glance. It wasn't fair, that you were chosen, to have that horrible accident. but I want you to know that we really did care. We did everything we could. We cried and celebrated, and died and lived. If I could save you, I would. Come back. I want you here. With me here. We love you.

Hey handsome. How is everything up there threating you?? The more days that go by its harder without you. I think about you everyday and love you more than you know. It was Stacy's baby shower on Saturday. Your Mom, Lexi and Rhonda came. I miss your family and know they are hurting so much. Its really heart braking for me to see your Mom, I just to hug her and never let go. Some days I even go to call you. I know you are watching over all of us that love you so much and I just cant believe its almost been a year. I hate that day June 13th. :( Life just isnt fair Zak and I dont think it will ever be. Its really hard going on without you.. Some days its just easier to try and forget but no matter what you will always be in my heart, its just some days its to much to bear. How do you just go on with life when you lose someone that is so close to you?? You were the one that kept me together and you were the greatest friend I could ever ask for. This just isnt fair. Please watch over Baker, last time I talked to him he wasnt doing so good and his phone is disconnected.. I love you

Why you had to leave,I sure don't understand you came into our lives a little boy, and left us as a man.And though we watched you grow. and that you would, have to leave so soon! never to see you again. Theres still so much to tell you and oh so much to do, I can't help but to miss you,In all the things I do. Our shop feels so quiet without you there.I love and miss you Zak my life has changed forever!!!

Hey Big Brother! Sorry it has taken me so long to write to you! In all actuality it is probably because I don’t know how to type you a message…I like to talk to you ya know. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I should just sit here and cry but then this voice that I haven’t heard in so long tells me not to be a puppy and that for every second I am sad I could have a smile on my face. I love that voice and I miss it! So today I am writing my first check for rent… How weird is that? My own place. I wish you could come over and hang out with me ,we could make lil smokies and play the Wii. Well I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and I always am. Keep pushing me through each day okay?

Hey Babe, I was just wondering if you miss us as much as we miss you? In my heart I know that's not possible but I like to believe it anyway. I always wonder if people look at us differently now or if we appear to be different. I often feel like the rest of the world should have changed as we have. Lexi found your first cross last night, the one that Dustin made and someone stole. She was going home and something caught her eye, it looked like a cross so she turned around and went back to check. Sure enough that's what it was. It was stuck in with a bunch of stuff that had been cleaned up near the river. Weird huh? I thought we would never see it again, see what I get for thinking! Dad and I had our 29th anniversary on Sunday, our first without you. We had a pretty uneventful day, just relaxed and hung out at home together. He did take me to dinner on Saturday night though, and it was great. I am off to bed now, I Love You and Miss you tons. See Ya Later, Mom

It's my birthday today Zak, and there's nobody I would love more to celebrate it with than you! If you could only be brought back to be with us on this earth, that would MORE than make up for every single bithday for the rest of my days! My grandma just informed us that my uncle has prostate cancer, which is what my grandpa died of. She said he's going in for surgery on JUNE 13th...and I said NO, please not that day...the day you were taken from us! Please keep an extra special watch over him in this difficult time. I love you Zak and miss you with each passing day!

Well another one of our family first without you here to help celebrate with us Your parents anniversary. You were here for our 28th year and gone way to soon!! I miss you very much Zak life is sure unfair I LOVE YOU and will see you again someday Love Dad.

Often I wonder what this year would've been like if you were still here with us. All these tears that have been shed could've been replaced by laughter...cause you always knew how to put a smile on our faces. I love you Zak and miss you so much still every day! I'll be seein you!

It is said that only the good die young,so why are you not still alive because you were the best. Bud & Shake painted the dog this sunday and the sculpture you made has now come alive what a beautiful job you did building the one truck that all other people would have throwing in the scrape bin Roy is in his own words beside himself.You are a artist. I love and miss you Zak!! Every second of everyday for the rest of my life. love Dad

Hey mom do you know they have baseball in heaven I pitched for the "Angels" on my first day Moses was a bit annoyed, I got caught "stealing" He said they don't do that here . . . Hey mom did you know they ski in heaven We ride atop the tallest clouds Holding our wings in very close We make a swooshing sound You call it "wind" down there . . . Hey mom do you know they have cable TV here I get to watch all the neat stuff I could ever want They even have the car channel's That me and dad always enjoyed so much . . . There's pizza to eat all through the day Man . . . the girls are all awesome and cute I wear the coolest Air Jordan's And I never miss a basket when I shoot About the girls . . . the no kissing on the first date thing sorta bothers me . . Hey mom do you know they have dogs in heaven I got one today his name is Jake He follows me everywhere I go And likes to lick my face So mom I guess what I am trying to say Is that things really aren't so bad I miss you and the family a lot at times I miss the guy stuff I did with dad. . . I do have some good news though . . . At night when you fall asleep, God said I can talk to you in your dreams So those times I show up and we laugh and play They are as real as they actually seem Promise you'll talk back to me okay ( I can hear you when you pray) . . . Hey mom do you know they have baseball in heaven Oh that's right I said that before I hit a homer just a while ago Abraham and Gabriel came in for a score . . . A camera man came close to get my picture Just like they do for the pro's on TV I had the biggest smile you've ever seen I put my face close to the lens It was huge and filled the screen Do you know what I said? Of course you do . . . I looked in it and said . . . " Hi mom!"

Hey Babe! Wow, what a busy few weeks we've had. First moving Lexi, then Brady in the hospital, it's been very overwhelming. Being in that hospital was especially hard, but you do what you have to do and Brady needed us there. He is doing much better now but sure missed seeing his Uncle Zak at the hospital. Oh how much life changes in a year, never would have dreamt in a million years that this is what our destiny was. I've been thinking a lot about all of the silly things that you used to say and do. I get a giggle out of them and it's followed by a tear. You would text me "foot be a puppy, Mom". I miss you so much, Jewi and I were talking about all the great T9 text messages we used to get from you. Missy got text messaging while she was here this week, wish you were here to initiate her into the texting cult. She's a texting virgin, HA! HA! that's a good one, if I do say so myself. See Ya Later, I Love You, Mom.

I have prayed and wished you could come back home. To live life with all of us again and have some fun and enjoy life as it used to be I know this will never be again, Shake & Bud are going to paint the dog this sunday I love and Miss You Zak life will always be upside down for Me. It can't be anything but going the wrong way on a one way highway! Love Dad

I love and miss you ZAK.every second every minute and everything, that life puts us threw, it sure was easier to go threw it with you still here to help. you made life alot more livable and oh!so! Much Better!! see you again someday love Dad

Zak, I need you more than ever in my life right now! You were always such a rock for me..a shoulder to lean on..and the one constant in my life! Never bringing drama..only a smile to my face! I know you were that to so many people..and I can only hope that someday I will have that same impact on at least one person like you had on several. I miss you so much every day! I love you! -Dizz

Zak, I need you more than ever in my life right now! You were always such a rock for me..a shoulder to lean on..and the one constant in my life! Never bringing drama..only a smile to my face! I know you were that to so many people..and I can only hope that someday I will have that same impact on at least one person like you had on several. I miss you so much every day! I love you! -Dizz

You know Zak this has been the toughest year you are gone and your mom and I help move Lexi in to her own apartment yesterday we should have been going to the auto boat speed show this weekend that was always a fun thing for You and I wow! talk about life throwing a fast ball when your expecting a curve ball. I love and Miss you ZAK I will see you again someday. love Dad

Hey Babe! Damn it's cold, enough is enough, no more snow! It's been a long dreadful winter and I am ready for it to be over. I want to bring some fresh flowers to your cross and not have them freeze and die. I want the gray skies to disappear and sunshine to come. I want something to brighten my day, your smile would do! I know now that we do have to go on, but that is so much easier said than done. People preach the "everything happens for a reason" and " time will heal". WRONG! Those who say that have never lost a child. At times I get a grip on life but then it just slips away and tumbles down the hill. I miss you everyday, just more some days than others. There are days that seem to be unbearable, I see you in everything I do and everywhere I go. The house is getting so empty, sometimes it doesn't feel like home anymore. No more kids under foot, it seems impossible. Wasn't it just yesterday that all 3 of you were going in different directions and my job was to keep up with you? What's my job now? I guess it's to take Josh some groceries when he isn't feeling well, to give Lexi advise in her new adventure and to survive day by day. We will be unpacking some of your belongings this weekend for Lexi to use now. WOW! That's gonna be another tough one. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I know you would want her to have that stuff so I guess that part is a good thing. I Love You and miss you! See Ya Later, MOM

Hey hun... Hope you had a wonderful Easter, I thought alot about you and wish you were here. I rememeber those days in the hospital and sitting next to your bed and holding your hand, and the whole thing I was wishing when you heard my voice you would wake up. One thing I remember is Stacy telling me when we were at the hospital that your brother told her that he didnt think it was a good idea I went into the room to see you cause it would be hard for yu cause you care about me so much. That meant the world to me. Its so hard losing someone so close to you especially your amazing best friend. I will never know how to go on without you. You were my rock that kept me together at my hard times and now I'm not sure who to call. I just feel like I didnt get to spend alot of time with you and wish there could be more time. I think about you everyday and how big your smile was and it kills me inside every time I look at one of your pictures. You are an amazing person and I think about you everyday. I love you so much Zak.. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

HAPPY EASTER BABE....I HOPE YOU HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY WITH JESUS TODAY. I MISS YOU TERRIBLY...I LOVE YOU.KISS. *Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin, I feel you come back again, And its like you havent been gone a moment from my side, Like the tears were never cried, Like the hands of time are holding you and me, And with all my heart Im sure were closer than we ever were, I dont have to hear or see, Ive got all the proof I need, There are more than angels watching over me, I believe, I believe. That when you die your life goes on, It doesnt end here when youre gone, Every soul is filled with light, It never ends and if Im right, Our love can even reach across eternity, I believe, I believe. Forever, youre a part of me, Forever, in the heart of me, And Ill hold you even longer if I can, The people who dont see the most, Say that I believe in ghosts, And if that makes me crazy, then I am, cause I believe. There are more than angels watching over me I believe, I believe.

Happy easter ZAK well another minute,hour,day,week,month, all is just another, to never see you on this earth is sometimes all I can do to keep from tearing up constantly, Everywhere your Mom and I go everything we see everything we do I can tell that you were so much a part of our lives so much that it just drains me, It hurts soooo bad to be without you to complete our family for 26 years we were always, A family first and thats what mattered now we are a broken non repairable family and we are trying to mend a little. well you get to spend easter with the one who this holiday is all about,Our sweet savior Jesus. I love and miss you ZAK,see you again someday in Heaven.love Dad

HAPPY ST PATTY'S DAY BABE!!! IM GOING TO HAVE SOME GREEN BEER TONIGHT...ILL HAVE ONE FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU BABE! MUAH!

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. I Love You, MOM

I know that I have cried more in the last nine months, then I have the whole rest of my life. I miss and love you ZAK life is so strange and unsettling without you here with us.all I can do, everywhere around us I remember every little thing that has to do with you from birth to nine months ago all I can say is I hope and pray to have you back here where you should be and all I can think of and ask god is what we have done that is so bad that we will be punished the rest of our lives because he took such a big center out of our lives here on earth why are people mint to suffer so? Love Dad

Hey Babe, I'm not sleeping well, I can't stop thinking about you, from the time you came home from the hospital til the time you went back to the hospital. Every minute, every event, everything. I Love you and I miss you soooo much. Love, Mom

HEY BABE... WELL NINE MONTHS...FEELS LIKE NINE YEARS. I HAVE BEEN SEEING ALOT OF ROCKETS OUT NOW THAT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN NICE. I PICTURE YOU EVERYTIME...I THINK EVERYONE DOES, IT'S HARD TO SEE A ROCKET AND NOT THINK OF YOU. I MISS OUR RIDES...I KNOW THAT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN BEGGING ME TO GO ON ONE EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT THAT WARM OUT BUT THERE IS NO SNOW SO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO RIDE. I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HAVE CHANGED AND HOW MY LIFE HAD CHANGED WITHOUT YOU IN IT. I JUST MISS YOU...I HAD A HEART TO HEART WITH ONE OF JOSH'S FRIENDS ABOUT YOU THE OTHER DAY BUT WORDS SOMEHOW DONT MAKE IT BETTER. JOSH AND I ARE GOING OUT THIS WEEKEND FOR ST PATTY'S...COME HAVE A DRINK WITH US K...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HONEY. I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU AND HEAR YOUR LAUGH AND I CANT WAIT TIL THAT DAY...IM FOREVER YOURS...KISS.

Hey Babe! Well here it is another month, life sure has changed in 9 months. So many times I think of you laying in that hospital, how could something like that happen to you? You were such a big strong man. Even lying there, it was so unbelievable, it seemed as though as long as you were lying there, you were still with us. I can't tell you how many times I have thought that about how scared you must have been. I left you there, lying in that bed, with all those strangers and all those machines. I try to convince myself it was the best thing to do. But really, I selfishly just wish you were there, where I could see you and touch you. I know you are at peace now, but I'm not. I never knew anything could be so painful, nothing makes it go away. I am always going to be different than I was prior to June 10th, 2007. My heart will always have a void that can't be filled. Part of me left that day with your soul, I hope it brings comfort to you, my son. I Love You eternally, Mom

Wow, 9 months since God took you home with Him...the same amount of time it took your mom to create the beautiful person that you are! I must say, she did a great job! I came to visit your cross last night. Not only is that beautiful cross your dad built a symbol of your life here on earth...but now, going to look at it, it certainly represents just how many lives you've touched! All the flowers and letters your friends and family have left! We're all so lucky to have you as our guardian angel looking down on us. I love you Zak! ~Dizz

Well another month with out you and your fun lovin adventure. you were the one person who could talk your Mom into buying the craziest things just like the water trampoline and it was fun when we towed it out to the middle of the lake and everybody played on and off of it. This was the kind of fun lovin things we did and all the fun we always had at the shop,Nick stopped by the shop a few days ago, He got to see first hand how much different it is around there without you. And I will say that you were such a big brite ball of fire like the sun,When ever you walked into a room it would brighten up instantly.I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday. You were a great Son and a Great Person. I Love you ZAK. You will be in our hearts for ever Love Dad

I remember...sitting next to your bed in the hospital, holding your hand, grasping it so tight, as you were grasping for your life! You looked as if you were only sleeping. Now I wish I could be the one to wake up...and have this all just be a horrible dream we had! I remember the nurses coming to tell us we should go in and start saying our last goodbye's to you...but I refused to say goodbye...instead I promised that I would see you again someday...and I will keep that promise because you kept every promise you made to me as my friend! I love you and can't wait til the day I can squeeze your hand again..and this time I'll be able to feel you squeeze mine back! Miss you with all my heart! ~Dizz

If the weather has been any indication of how you've been doing...then I'm glad you're doing well up there! I sure wish the sun could shine on the way I feel inside...empty and lost, without you here on this earth. The one thing that keeps me sane, is knowing that the pain that takes a chunk of all our hearts will someday be relieved when we get to be in your presence again! They say time heals all pain...well if that's the case, then I sure wish time would move faster! I'll be seeing you Zak! I miss you and love you with all my heart! ~Dizz

You never said "I'm leaving", You never said goodbye. You were gone before I knew it, And only God knew why. A million times I needed you, A million times I cried. If Love alone could have saved you, You never would have died. In Life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place, That no one could ever fill. It broke my heart to lose you, But you didn't go alone. For part of me went with you, The day God took you home. I Love and miss you so much Zak, I NEED SERENITY. Love, Mom

Hey you! Sorry I haven't written in a while...certainly doesn't mean I haven't still been thinking about you EVERY day...cause I do! I have your poster framed on my wall next to my bed and you're the last person I look at and say goodnight to every night before I go to sleep! It's nice to see your face...but it's just not the same knowing I can't reach out and touch you in the flesh. I'd much rather have the text you sent me every night before bed saying, sweet dreams and I love you Kay...then knowing you'd be the first one to text me good morning when I got to work. I miss you so much and love you more and more every day that you're gone! Thanks for ANOTHER sunny day! Love you! ~Dizz

Hey hun!!! I went to visit your cross on Saturday and there is so many wonderful things that everybody brings you!! Its just really hard to go there its hard to even bring myself there. I just wanted you to know that i was thinking about you alot today!! Words can never describe how much i miss you and would do anything to have you back.. You never realize how hard life is without someone that you need, someone that has made such a big impact if your life, someone that brought so much joy into your life. I still will never understand why!! WHY??? I love you and miss you so much.. Thanks for the wonderful sunshine today.. XOXOXOXOXO love u Kristi

From the day you were born I knew you'd be great,and I just could not wait.you had a shy presence around others but we all knew even your sister and brother and your mother too,you were the center of our family each day,and when you left us all I could do was pray. and ask god why someone so good could be taken away.I have missed your face and your smile,and all I could do is ask for you to come back for awhile.And god said your big heart is needed in heaven.I miss every minute of everyday without you,I stand in my empty shop and look around I see you.everything that you touched everything that you'd use my whole world is what I would choose.I would do it all over and not change a thing.Except for the way the end of you would bring.I Love you Zak,and I wish you could come back.Life isn't the same your big heart is what I lack.I will think of you always and try and smile and my tears I will hide all the while. Love You ZAK

HI HANDSOME! I HAVE BEEN HAVING A HARD DAY TODAY... I CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU AND THINKING ABOUT YOU... IT'S A HARD DAY. I JUST MISS YOU WAY TOO MUCH... I WANT TO SEE YOU AND HOLD YOU LOVE YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE AND LAUGH... I MISS YOU SO MUCH. MY HEART HURTS ALOT TODAY... I LOVE YOU HONEY BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I JUST CANT STOP TELLING YOU. XOXO CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU... KISS.

I keep going to read this that your Mom wrote to you and it brings me to tears everytime TRY TO UNDERSTAND Last night while I was trying to sleep, My son's voice I did hear I opened my eyes and looked around, But he did not appear. He said:"Mom you've got to listen, You've got to understand God didn't take me from you, mom He only took my hand. When I called out in pain that night, The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side. He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same. My search is really over now, I've found happiness within, All the answers to my empty dreams And all that might have been. I love you all and miss you so, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die! And so, you must all go on now, Live one day at a time. Just understand- God did not take me from you, He only took my hand. AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Hey hun!! Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you :) You always in my thoughts and I love you. Miss you XOXOXOXOXOXOXO love Kristi

I just have been looking at all the pictures and it makes me miss you so much.. I love you Zak

Hey hun.... God I miss you so much and some days are harder than others. Geez some days I have to think really hard and ask myself if we have to go on without you!! Trying to make sense of all of this and did this really happen?? Kaylyn and Marty were in his garage the other night and she saw his motorcycle and she asked where the piece of your bike was.. God it made me cry. We talked about you all the time. I know you didnt get to spend much time with Kaylyn but she still calls you Uncle Zak and that your watching over us. Remember the nights I would come stay at your house, you would sleep on the big couch and I would take the little one. The night afer your memorial service Me, Baker, Brad and Amanda went to your house and I laid on the little couch with your blanket full of dog hair, my allergies went crazy but I didnt care. I think about your family everyday and think about how hard this much be for them.. They raised the best son with the biggest heart. Brady always talks about you along with everyone else. We all love you so much and I just think back to when we were all at the hosiptal and we filled one waiting room along with the hallway with people and the how many lives you have touched. I remember that day at Lexi's graduation and when I got there you made me a plate of food well I should say a plate of meat. LOL... We were going to do our tradition Karoke at the Star, I just wish we could of made it there. No matter how sad I was you could always make me smile. One of my friends asked me the other day since we were friends so long if we ever dated and I said no but we talked about getting married one day. I dont think anyone actually really knows how much I miss you, ya know my usual self and hide everything like its all ok. But I really do miss you more than I could ever explain to you or anyone else. Theres not a day that goes by that your not in my thoughts and I wish we could have you back. I could you a kiss on the forehead along with a everything will be ok. Remember that one day we went to go get food with Lexi and Alex and we went to Subway and all got foot long sandwiches oh and that's not all you also had Lexi stop at taco bell.. I just miss all the fun little things that we use to do. I love you ZAK.. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey Babe! I think about you everyday whether I am working, driving, or just watching TV. I was working in the yard last weekend and there are so many memories out there. All of the BBQ's, yardsales, and just hangin' out. I have to make myself get things done out there this year cause last year I neglected all of it. I can hear you saying "what's up with your yard Mom?" I'm going to make you proud this year, I will get out there and get it back in shape. The last time that we did anything outdoors was Lexi's graduation party, the day of your accident. I miss you so much. I just wish we could go back and change things. Back to the good ole days. I Love You, Talk to ya later, MOM

You know Your Mom and I were talking about, not only did we raise you and your brother back when you 2 were born we were quite young our self's so we also in away grew up with you and your brother together It is so tough on me to say goodbuy and try to let go a little. The auto boat speed show will be here at the end of march, and you and I always went together.I will always cherish the things we did together,I miss you and love you so much, when you died so did a part of me.I pray to god all the time that he will watch over your brother and sister and My Brady bear, because I could not ever in my life handle another one of my kid's or grand kid's going before me. this has been to much to handle. I love you ZAK Love Dad

We are on a leap year I sure wish you could leap back into our lives. I MISS You and LOVE you Zak I sure wish life would have played out different because this act of our life needs to be re written love Dad

I don't know how, but losing you has made every other aspect of life seem so unstable. Like a missing piece to this puzzle...and life won't be complete without you. I miss you so much Zak! Love you! ~Dizz

HEY BABY...SORRY IT'S BEEN A WEEK SINCE I WROTE YOU...I KNOW IM HORRIBLE! I LOVE YOU...HOW IS YOUR WEEK GOING? MINE IS GOING KIND OF SLOW AND BUSY...THE WEATHER IS GETTING BETTER SO THATS NICE. I REALLY HAVE BEEN CRAVING GOING ON ONE OF OUR FIVE HOUR WALKS...MAYBE THIS WEEKEND? I MISS YOU...I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY WOOBIE. ILL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU AS ALWAYS. KISSES!

for some reason the past few days have been really tough, so much of the time this vast empty place where nothing can replace, and seems to never stop hurting. I miss you so much Zak!! and the life we all had together. Love Dad

Wanna go out tonight Zak?! But I'm getting drunk, so THIS time YOU have to drive! Gosh I miss having you here to protect me and look out for me...but I know you're still looking down on me doing the same. I love you Zak...and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here! I'll be seeing you! ~Dizz

I walk by your helmet on the way out the door every morning and I still see your chubby cheeks sqeezed in there. Don't ever leave!!! I Love You Babe! MOM

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn't stop thinking about the time I was in Portland...your friends wanted to go out but you said you would stay on the phone with me and keep me company until I fell asleep. I needed to hear your voice on the other end of the phone last night Zak. I wanted to fall asleep knowing you'd be here on this earth when I woke up. I miss you sooooo much! It's hard to see a happy ending through all the tears. But I know it will be happy...because for us, it ends at you! I can't wait to see you again someday! I love you Zak! ~Dizz

I love you Zak. trying to move forward a little anyway,I hope your eternity is everything you want and need see you again someday. Love Dad

Well this is 2 sunny days in a row, thanks for that! I miss you so much, I wonder if it'll ever get better. I Love You!

HAPPY VALENTINES HONEY!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE! I AM FOREVER YOURS...FAITHFUL...KISSES! I MISS YOU...

To the world you were someone, but to us you were the world. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BABE! Happy Valentine's Day!

Don't think you ever cared much for this "commercial" holiday...but since it means telling someone you love them, I want you to be the one I tell. I love you Zak! Happy Valentine's Day!

I can't believe that just 8 months ago you were lying in the flesh, right there in front of us...I could touch you...I could hold your hand...gosh, I could even SEE your heart beat...as if you were only sleeping. But now your heart beats within another...yet it's touched all of us. I wanted to wake you and tell you it was all going to be ok...and that I love you so much and need you here. But I know you know that...and I know you're still touching lives every day...I can feel it. I can't wait to see you again Zak! Love, Dizz

HEY SWEETIE...EIGHT MONTHS...I REMEMBER WHEN THE DAYS FLEW BY AND THE YEARS WENT FASTER YET SOMEHOW CASUE YOU ARENT HERE TIME SEEMS TO STAND STILL. JOSH AND I WENT OUT THIS PAST WEEKEND...WE HAD SO MUCH FUN ALTHOUGH THE WHOLE TIME I JUST WANTED TO TEXT YOU AND TELL YOU TO MEET UP WITH US. NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DONT SPEAK YOUR NAME OR THINK OF YOU...BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH...YOU WILL FOREVER HAVE ME. KISSES!

I seen Ron Davenport today he remembers you and I know you would remember him he lost his son january of 2001 I remember when that happened his son was rebuilding a scout and was always in buying parts for it. I told him I really know how it feel's to loose your son.I showed him the dog he remembered what it use to look like,you know everyday without you is another day that could have been fun and instead it just becomes another day.we are going to make some of the car shows this year because I know in my heart you would want us to. I will always miss the bond you and I had.We would throw ideas at each other all day and come up with something wild and crazy,I love you ZAK!! one day we will talk face to face? love Dad.

Hey you! I went out with Amanda, your brother and some of his friends on Saturday night. It was so nice to see Josh again...I haven't seen him since losing you. We had a lot of fun! There was only one thing missing...YOU! But of course, your name came up in conversation A LOT! We all miss you so much! We were dancing at Jimmyz (Amanda's favorite bar)...it was my first time seeing Josh dance! Sorry Zak, I'll have to say, he just might have more moves than you! He he! Of course you only had one...and I always told you it looked like you were pissing on a tree when you did it. Too funny!!! Oh what I would give to see that one again! I miss you so much...you're ALWAYS in my heart! Love you! ~K-Dizz

I think about you every minute of everyday.you know most people are lucky if they can find a really good friend in there life one they can trust and get along with for the most part,and this is extremely rare for it to be your son.you and I always had the automotive thing in common and really had alot of the same Ideas it is very tough for me to not have you anymore we had so many crazy schemes and angles we were going to take OBP to a completely new level and we would have. I now everyday walk by your battered bike and see nothing of you in the flesh only the remains of a empty spot in my heart where one of my kid's used to be and someday's I really am confused to what life is supposed to be. I don't know if the lord wants us to keep going or not care whats next.I love and miss you ZAK and will see you again one day Love Dad

I drove to the north side and stopped by your house last night! I sat there in my car for a few moments...just waiting for you to lean out the door and greet me like you used to...with the dogs trying to push their way out! I got such an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and started to cry. I wanted so bad to just park my car, come inside, order pizza (pepperoni and jalapeno of course) and watch Deadliest Catch with you. I miss you sooooo much! I would give anything just to spend one more day in your presence! I love you Zak! ~Dizz

HI HONEY BUNNY! I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT I MISS YOU...I AM EMOTIONALLY DRAINED...I NEED YOU. WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO BE LAYING ON YOUR CHEST LISTENING TO YOUR HEART BEAT...AND TO FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS...WHEN YOU LEFT YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME WITH YOU...WHO KNEW LOVE COULD BE SO POWERFUL...SO WONDERFUL AND AT THE SAME TIME SO PAINFUL. MY HEART STILL ACHES FOR YOU...BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD WEEK UP THERE...CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU! GOOD NIGHT BABY! KISS.

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life was with YOU!!! in the world. I sure do miss you ZAK my life without you is so strange and different. to talk to you again and to see you in person would be so great,the four of us sure have had a tough and difficult time without you here.we were all standing in the kitchen last night and your mom was of course making fun of my computer savey, Wow imagine that and I could just hear the things you would be adding to the Roast @ my expense. I love and miss you ZAK

I love and miss you ZAK in our hearts forever!!!!

Hi Zak, it's your cousin again. I know its been awhile, we actually got our own computer a couple months ago. I thought of you as your birthday aproached, should of e-mailed your mom, I will soon. Every time I hear the 'nickle back' song on the radio, I think of you. I got on the web sight tonight, it brought tears to my eyes. I know that you have a message for us all, don't know what it is, but I feel it strongly in me that you are trying to tell us all something. A posting your mom made on Jan. 7,was very powerfull. Remember this, as I've said in the past: how much more profoundly a person can affect or make a differance in our lives, after they are gone then when they are still on this earth. I think that was part of the message Jesus had for us. You may be gone, but YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US!! I love you and your mom and dad. Love Emalee

Hey Babe, I just don't understand how we go on. The thought of our family without you year after year is so painful. What does the future hold for us? Imagining the four of us without you doesn't seem possible. No matter how much time passes the pain will still be there. We cope and try to accept but at times it still seems like a bad dream, like when we wake up you will be there. If only........ I Love You and miss you tons.

Hi ZAKY hope your doing fine,I sure could use to just talk to you.I miss our discussion's about different things we would be working on, the Hippo is turning out good, I remember working on the chassis together you roy and me life was sure fun back then I love and miss you Zak Love Dad

I need your friendship so much right now! I miss you Zak and love you very much! ~Dizz

I Miss you so much. Today is sad without you, send me a birthday hug OK? I Love You, Mom

Well babe I'm home sick with the flu... I need you to come walking in that door with thee grocery bags full of stuff to make me better... Orange juice,tea,soup,and a Candy bar. Mechew has been laying on the couch all day with me... He misses his daddy. We both miss you and send hugs and kisses. I love you!! Kiss.

Well babe I'm home sick with the flu... I need you to come walking in that door with thee grocery bags full of stuff to make me better... Orange juice,tea,soup,and a Candy bar. Mechew has been laying on the couch all day with me... He misses his daddy. We both miss you and send hugs and kisses. I love you!! Kiss.

Hey ZAK Bud was here with shake on sunday he was really impressed with your metal skills. We were talking about his brother big stence, He has probably already met you up there he has been gone for awhile so I hope your doing well, I sure miss you here, love Dad.

We sure missed you at lexi's birthday dinner. Everything that we do, used to be with all of us and now that you are gone it is always one empty chair, and a big empty spot in our hearts. I sure miss everything about our old lives together,How to keep on is the million dollar question? I love and miss you ZAK! always in our hearts forever love Dad

Well here we go, another family event without you. Today is your baby sister's birthday. 19 years old, can you believe it! You were always so proud of her, and she continues to do things to make you even more proud. She's a Medical Assistant now and loves her job. You would get such a kick out of listening to her tell the stories of her events at work. I am sure that you would have a comment or 10 to add. We were just talking about how last year on her birthday you were there to see her get her very first tattoo. You told her that you were going to get sleeved someday and she said you were only saying that cause she is tougher than you. :) Tomorrow she is going to get another one and I bet she will be thinking of you as always. Guess where we are going to eat tonight? Yep, you guessed it, Lexi's favorite place, Red Robin. We will be missing you :( I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

HEY BABE...I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND SAY HI AND THAT I LOVE YOU...MISS YOU TOO MUCH TODAY. HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT WEEK...KISS.

Happy Birthday Zak!!! I love you and miss you so much everyday... Theres not a moment that your not in my thoughts.. I still ask myself everyday why did this happen to you???? I will never understand why. Out of all people it had to be YOU. The one person that had the biggest heart and the one that cared about everybody. When there is so many bad people in this world, all the bad things have to happen to the good people. I use to believe in everything happens for a reason but thats something i will ever believe in again. Life is just no fair. Its so sad that your not here for your birthday, you deserve it more than anybody....... I love you so much and I know your still with me... XOXOXOXOXOXOXO HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ZAK...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..."FOREVER YOUNG". I love and miss you!!! Aunt Wendy

Happy Birthday Zak!!! You know I hate the fact that you aren't here with us and that we aren't texting back and forth trying to figure out a plan for the night...but what can we do now?? Most of the time I just wonder how in the heck will things ever be the same now...and I've come to the conclusion that they never will. I think back of all the times that we would play cops and robbers or race around the driveway on our bikes and you know Nelly and Josh would always win! Or we would have tree fights...you and I in one tree and Nelly and Josh in another and we would throw sticks, pinecones, crab apples or whatever else we could find till one of us would get mad and quit. Boy if we could only go back to those days huh? I'll never forget growing up with next door to Josh and Zak...there was never a dull moment around our neighborhood. Especially today but ALWAYS I love and miss you ZAKY!!!

Happy Birthday Babe! I miss you so much, today SUCKS! I still feel like it's all a nightmare. 27 years ago today I gave birth to you. My check in time at the hospital was 6AM and by shortly after 8AM another beautiful baby boy joined our family. 8lbs 4 oz and lots of dark hair that would eventually turn into gorgeous golden locks that any girl would envy. You were such a good baby, slept through the night, ate VERY good, and smiled all the time. As you grew up you invented ways to torture your big brother, all out of self defense of course. You loved insects, and Josh hated them. You would find any little bugs that you could and chase him with them. He was bigger than you so I guess that was your equalizer, your so called "finger in the mouth" (inside joke). Then along came your little sister, she was like a new toy for you and your brother. Even with all the "hide in the dryer" and "let's pull Lexi on the inner tube behind the 4wheeler" stunts you were still a HUGE influence on her and a great protector of her. So here we are now, a little broken, but still here. The old saying says "time heals". WOW! whoever came up with that one never lost a child. Some days are better than others, but the healing part, NOT! The rules are that I am suppose to go first, that is the order that things are meant to fall. I Love You Zakybob, my heart is broken and I can't find a band-aid for it. :(

HEY BABE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY WITH JESUS TODAY...IM GOING OUT AND HAVING AZTECA TONIGHT AND A CORONA FOR YOU K...I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU...CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR SMILE AGAIN AND HEAR YOUR LAUGH...KISS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUZ!!!!!! I love and miss you very much and I can't wait til we get celebrate our birthdays together again. See you soon! <3 Nelly

Happy birthday ZAK I love and miss YOU!!! so I hope your having a few corona's with jesus maybe he can turn the water into corona for you that would be awesome love you from Dad. I miss you very much ZAK

well Zak We have not seen any more stupid porn stuff on your site.We miss and Love you always. love Dad

I am sorry about the garbage that some pieceses of fieces are putting on your site. I love and miss you every minute of everyday.We got your bike back from the cop's I am so sorry what you must have gone threw,you were always such a caring kid you sure didn't deserve what you had happen to you.Love you and I hope things like your wreck is something that you won't remember up there.

HEY BABY! SO I WENT TO MY FIRST HOCKEY GAME WITHOUT YOU LAST NIGHT, KIND OF WIERD. BUT THERE WAS A FIGHT THE BEST I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME AND BRUTON KNOCK THE SILVERTIPS GOALIE OUT! LITERALLY!!! IT WAS AWESOME!! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BABE. KISSES FROM ME. HOPE YOU ARE HAING A WONDERFUL WEEK. KISS.

Friend, please don't mourn for me I'm still here, though you don't see. I'm right by your side each night and day And within your heart I long to stay.- My body is gone but I'm always near. I'm everything you feel, see or hear. My spirit is free, but I'll never depart As long as you keep me alive in your heart.- I'll never wander out of your sight- I'm the brightest star on a summer night. I'll never be beyond your reach- I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.- I'm the colourful leaves when Autumn's around And the pure white snow that blankets the ground. I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond, The clear cool water in a quiet pond.- I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring, The first warm raindrop that April will bring. I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine, And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.- When you start thinking there's no one to love you, You can talk to me through the Lord above you. I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees, And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.- I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep. I'm the smile you see on a baby's face. Just look for me, friend, I'm every place!- Author Unknown- I LOVE YOU ZAK, I WILL TRY TO BE STRONG TODAY, FOR YOU!

Hey Babe, It's freezing today. I bet you are cozy and watching animal planet or some truck shows. I sure miss you, I can't believe it's been 7 months since you left us. I Love You, Mom

I Love and MISS you ZAK!!! and think about you all the time. I sure wish life would have been with you instead of any life with out you.I will see you again someday,Love Dad

Would ya quit poorin down all the snow!!!! There's just too much!!! He he! I love you Zak! ~Dizz

I LOVE YOU WOOBIE...

Hey hun, your probably wondering why its taken me so long to write, but I know you see that I'm in a really rough time in my life right now and it really sucks!! Why does all the bad things happen to all the good people?? Why did this happen to you I guess I will never understand it and til this day I still can't take all of this!! I really could use some of your best friend advice right now and I guess I never know who to turn to now.. I'm sorry I missed putting up your Christmas tree but I had to head to Montana.. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and I wish you could be here.. I wish I could hear from you that everything is gonna be ok!! Christmas was hard I didn't have you or Kaylyn. I love you and I will never forget you.. Miss you know than I could ever explain.. XoxoxoxoxoxoxoXoXoxo love u

Whenever I'm driving or in a car with any of my guy friends I ask them to hold my hand while we drive...they don't know (might freak em out) but it's because you always used to hold my hand while we were in the car and now it's a comfort thing for me! I love you and miss you so much! ~Dizz

WELL IT IS REALLY SNOWING OUT THERE... KIND OF SCARY. I NEED YOU TO DRIVE ME TO WORK I AM NOT GOOD AT DRIVING IN THIS STUFF... I WISH YOU WERE HER SO WE CAN HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT, YOU TACKLEING ME TO THE GROUND, AND PLAY WITH THE DOGS IN THE SNOW...THEY WOULD LOVE THAT. WE WOULD BRING THE KIDS OVER TO MOM AND DADS AND HAVE LEXI AND ALEX PLAYING WITH US...YOU AND ALEX COMING UP WITH SOME RANDOM DANGEROUS THING TO DO, YOU TWO PULLING DAD INTO IT AND MOM GETTING ALL FLUSTERED AND JUST SHAKING HER HEAD... I CAN SEE IT ALL NOW. I KNOW IT CAN'T HAPPEN BUT IT PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE TO THINK ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE IF IT COULD. I LOVE YOU HONEY... CRAZY HOW WE PLAY WHAT IF'S AND WOULD BE'S...I MISS YOU. :0( KISS.

TRY TO UNDERSTAND Last night while I was trying to sleep, My son's voice I did hear I opened my eyes and looked around, But he did not appear. He said:"Mom you've got to listen, You've got to understand God didn't take me from you, mom He only took my hand. When I called out in pain that night, The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side. He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same. My search is really over now, I've found happiness within, All the answers to my empty dreams And all that might have been. I love you all and miss you so, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die! And so, you must all go on now, Live one day at a time. Just understand- God did not take me from you, He only took my hand. AUTHOR UNKNOWN I LOVE YOU ZAK AND I MISS YOU TONS. I WISH OUR PAIN WOULD GO AWAY BUT I KNOW IT NEVER WILL.

I LOVE and MISS YOU ZAK

I LOVE & MISS YOU ZAK, Life will never be the same without you here to bring us up when were down.

"_____" New Year babe, Yes, the happy is missing. I really don't know what to say, all the words just jumble themselves together in my head. I just wish we could all be together again. I would have given anything to have you singing karaoke with us on New Years Eve. You definitely were on our minds and in our hearts. We had a round of shots for you, knew you would appreciate that. I love you babe and I miss you so much. LOVE, MOM

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH THE WORST ACHE IN MY HEART...THIS IS STILL SO HARD. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU HONEY...SO MUCH. I WANT AND NEED YOU AND ONLY YOU...I CAN'T TO SEE YOU AGAIN...KISS.

Happy New Year Zak!!! I was sitting around with my friends on New Year's day and we were all sharing where we were on New year's eve last year...I couln't seem to remember...then it came to me. I was at your house playing poker! What a slap to the face with reality! I don't wanna start this year without you...but I know you'll still be looking down and watching over us. I miss you so much! Love you Zak! ~Dizz

happy new year ZAK!! although I know time isn't a factor where your at, I'm sure everyday is a celebration.life is ok here we got a karoake machine your aunt Darcie & I sang half the knight away I even got your mom to sing some and hailey sang some. You would have loved it I had fun for awhile. we played photograph and all of us sang together, then latter I played freebird and couldn't sing much I think I cried more than any singing I miss you and Love you so much life is always going to be different and strange were trying to get by, most times are ok we can't help to notice all the little things we do how much you would have loved and been right there to join in. I will always love you and miss you.At every step in life that we take love Dad

WELL BABE IT'S NEW YEARS EVE...NO PLANS FOR ME JUST GOING TO STAY IN AND WATCH A MOVIE...IF YOU HAVE NO PLANS MAYBE YOU CAN COME HANG OUT WITH ME...ILL BE THINKING OF YOU AT MIDNIGHT AND WISHING I COULD KISS YOU...YOU STILL HAVE MY HEART. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WOOBIE. HAPPY NEW YEAR BABE...KISS.

I love and Miss you ZAK!!!!!

Have they forgotten?????

THAT MESSAGE LEFT ME SPEACHLESS...I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT EVERY TEAR I CRY IS CAUSE I JUST MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH...IT'S HARD WITHOUT, I WISH YOU WOULD JUST COME BACK...

TO REMEMBER ME The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment, a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped. When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine, and don't call this my death bed. Let this be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives. Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window. Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow. If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow man. If by chance you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or a word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever. AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Hey babe, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. It came and went just as the days do. It will never be the same, I stare at your picture trying to understand. I never will. Your birthday is next, OUCH! 27 years! I wish I could go back. I Love You and I miss you so much. Love, Mom

well christmas is over and here is a new year. coming just around the corner I'am sure your celebration was fun or I would at least hope so, I love and miss you ZAK I sure Hope 2008 will be good to us all.Because we need it to be.see you again someday.Love Dad

Ok ok...you got to celebrate Jesus' birthday with him...now can you ask him to send you back to hang out with us?!! I miss you and love you so much Zak! Love, Dizz

Merry Christmas We love you Dustin Janna and Baylee

HI SWEETIE...MERRY CHRISTMAS. I HAVE TO BE HONEST AND SAY IT'S REALLY NOT THAT MERRY...IT'S JUST TOO HARD! WAKING UP AND NOT HAVING YOU HERE WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS...WELL IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT. ANYWAY I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THIS MESSAGE A REAL SAD ONE SO I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH...I JUST KEEP PRETENDING YOU'RE IN THE OTHER ROOM NAPPING, IT HELPS A LITTLE. AS MUCH AS I WANT YOU HERE WITH ME PLEASE BE WITH MOM, DAD, LEX AND JOSH TODAY, THIS HAS TO BE SO HARD FOR THEM, IF IT THIS HARD FOR ME I CAN ONLY IMAGINE FOR THEM. TRADITIONS AREN'T GOING TO BE THE SAME WITH OUT YOU...BYE FOR NOW HONEY. LOVE YOU. KISS.

Merry Christmas ZAKY I Love and Miss YOU every minute of everyday Love Dad

Merry Christmas Zak!! I miss you and think of you always. Oh yeah, Tank and Terra are doing great, at least as far as I can tell from a turtle. The tree at your cross looks cool, I am so glad I could see it thru email. Love ya, Missy

Hey Zach....Merry Christmas!!!! You may not be here physically but you are here in our hearts. We all miss you and love you so much. Christmas isn't the same without you but we realize what a special person you are and what you gave to the family. Thanks Zach for being a great nephew and we will miss your funny comments and jokes at Christmas time. Love you forever.... Mike, Wendy, Michael, Nicole, Sabrina, Alan, Amanda and Brandon and the rest of the gang :( :) :)

so this is christmas with out one very special son in my life.I will never get it I still ask God why!! someone as great a person as you would be taken. and we still have all sorts of terrible people still walking this earth.people always say he's in a better place, I say if your not here with your family it certainly isn't a better place. I LOVE and MISS you ZAK christmas is going to be tough. why?? YOU!!!! to have to leave us so soon in life!!

I ran across a bunch of preprinted Christmas cards this morning with all of our names on them. It SUCKS!

Hey babe, I was thinkin' wouldn't it be great if everyone stopped by your website to say Merry Christmas? You were always trying to get everyone together, this is as good as it gets now. It looks like we are going to have a wet Christmas instead of a white Christmas. YUK! Actually it is more like a BLUE Christmas without you here. I Love You and I will talk to ya later. Love, MOM

HEY BABY...IM GOING TO COME SEE YOU CHRISTMAS MORNING, KAY IS COMING WITH ME. ILL BRING YOU YOUR STOCKING WITH THE STUFF I GET YOU EVERY YEAR. I MISS YOU SO MUCH HONEY...IM DIEING INSIDE...I FEEL SO HOLLOW. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW! KISS.

Hey Zak! Amanda e-mailed me pictures of your tree...it's gorgeous!!! I love it!!! Wish I could've been there...I didn't know about it...you know I would've have! Amanda and I are gonna stop by and visit you on Christmas morning! I love you and miss you so much!!! ~Dizz

Hey Babe, Your Christmas tree is beautiful. Do you like it? There sure were a lot of people that came out in the cold and all to show their support. I guess that just shows how much you ARE loved. Christmas will be empty this year, no tree and no Christmas spirit. I keep waiting for you and Lexi to bug us about going to look at Christmas lights til all hours in the morning. So many things are missing! I Love You, please come home for Christmas, Mom

Dear ZAK this christmas was going to be one of the best. and instead it is the worst, I love you and miss you from Dad

Hey Yak.... I can't believe it has been six months since you haven't been with us....here in flesh anyway. There hasn't been a day when I don't think of you. It is especially hard nearing Christmas. It will be the first one without you. All I can do is think of how your mom, dad Lex and Josh are going to get through this time. I know it will be hard for all of us not having your sarcasm around. That was my favorite thing about you. I got it almost always. Zak the words can't describe how much we all miss you. i find myself just thinking what if..ya know. Of course you do. I have your picture in my visor so It can remind me of how precious life is and everyone around me!!! You have changed my life. How I see family and friends and each second God gives me. I try to be a better person, because I know thats what you would want. I try not to party as much either because I know that is not what you want. I can't lie though I still tip one up sometimes though... I'm not perfect!!! I wish i could be talking to your face and not to a website, but at least I can get out everything I have to say. Do me a favor if you can and make sure your mom and dad know you are there with them. I promise I will do what I can in letting them know how much we love them and that we will never forget!!!! I love you Yak!! Thinking of you always.......CHELLE

HEY WOOBIE! SIX MONTHS TODAY...NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ON A WEBSITE...JUST DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY AND SO MUCH TO SHARE WITH YOU...I KNOW YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME BEING SAD SO I WILL TRY TO CELEBRATE YOU TODAY AND NOT CRY BUT NO PROMISES K. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH. IT IS SO TRUE HOW THE WORLD IS SO EMPTY AND COLD WITHOUT YOU AND YOUR SMILING FACE HERE WITH US. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD DO ME A FAVOR...CAN YOU TELL MY GRANDPA THAT I LOVE HIM AND GIVE HIM A HUG FOR ME? I CAN'T WAIT TO GIVE BOTH OF YOU A HUG MYSELF SOMEDAY...I LOVE YOU. KISS.

6 months...even if it seemed like an eternity, I'd rather count down the months til the day I get to see you, rather than counting how long we've been without you...at least then it would be something to look forward to. If I could only have ONE gift for Christmas that lasted through every other Christmas to come...it would be YOU! If I could wake up and see you under my tree, not only would it be a gift to me but more than enough of a gift to cover EVERYONE close to you's Christmas list too! I guarantee you there's nothing on your family's list this year...cause they shouldn't have to be asking for their own son back...he should be home safe for Christmas. I know you're looking down on them...and all of us...but expecially them. They need you to be that ANGEL a top their tree this year. Keep them safe! I love you Zak! You're in my every thought and prayer! I miss you! See you soon!

it is so sad for you to be remember as you were instead of as you are. my question will always be, to god Why!!!! There was never a bigger Hearted Person than YOU. If there is I have never met them in my 50 years here on earth. I can't beleive it has been 6 months that you've been gone sometimes it feels like a life time and sometimes it feels as if it were yesterday. I love and MISS You ZAK.Your DAD. I will never understand WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZAK!!!!!! were having baby ZAK on Monday! travis is so excited! we cant wait. i hope you watch over him. i know you will. kayla says hi! she misses you alot. she still sleeps with your picture. its so cute some nights we will tuck her in and she wont have it and when we wake her up she has it in bed with her. (we have lots of copies cuz she takes it every where!) well have a good night ZAK!!! oh and just think, tuesday i can have that beer you promised!

The tought of this Christmas with out you is so tough. I don't know how to take this,It was your favorite holiday. And it doesn't even feel like christmas. It feels like a big open no end black hole. and all you can do is stand there and try to see the other end.and all you can see is one big black hole where you used to be.I am trying to move a little forward.and I'm not sure where forward will be. I LOVE YOU ZAK.and MISS YOU so very MUCH,Life will never be the same in any way,shape,or form,I will see you again on the other side of life. LOVE DAD

I AM GOING TO KEEP POSTING THIS VERSE UNTIL EVERYONE READS IT AND I MEAN REALLY READS AND COMPREHENDS IT. DON'T LET A MINUTE GO BY THAT YOUR LOVED ONES DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM. PUT LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE, SOME THINGS ARE IMPORTANT AND SOME ARE JUST TRIVIAL...................... If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear, Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay" And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. I LOVE YOU ZAK AND I MISS YOU, See Ya Later.

Hey Babe, all those time that we told you to be careful on that bike did you think that we were just blowing smoke? Did you ever think about the people that you would leave behind if something happened to you, how much pain we would be in? There isn't one hour that goes by that I don't think of you. Something I see will remind me, or you will just pop into my head. I must have seen a hundred things already that I would have gotten you for Christmas. I know I am selfish, but this is just so unfair. I don't want to hear people say that you are in a better place, because the best place for you is here with us. Our Christmas will be so sad without you. You spending the night and getting up with Lexi in the middle of the night to see what Santa brought and to look through the stockings, then waking Dad and I up at 6AM to open presents. It was always your favorite holiday, not just because of the presents but because of the family time together. I miss you so much, I just want you to come home and be with us. I Love You, See Ya Later.

Sure wish you could come back home.I love and miss You ZAK.

Yes Zak...I'm here to admit that Amanda is right...something I never thought I'd do (just trickin Amanda)!!! But I never remember hearing you use that term...Scout and International yes...but the harvester thing I didn't know. I'm a dork I know! You're welcome to come down here and make fun of me cause I know you would...you would never let me live this one down! I like that song too...great and now everytime I hear it I'll hear you teasing me about not knowing what "Harvester" was. He he!!! I love you Zak! Get a good laugh in!

HI HONEY! IM HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING I THINK YOU WILL FIND A HOOT...KAYLA DIDN'T KNOW THAT WE DRIVE INTERNATIONAL HARVESTERS!!! SHE THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST CALLED INTERANTIONALS...WHAT A NERD HUH? I KNOW YOUR REALLY LOVING THAT SONG BY CRAIG MORGAN - INTERANTIONAL HARVESTER...WISH YOU WERE HERE SO YOU CAN DRIVE ME CRAZY BY PLAYING IT OVER AND OVER...THE NEXT TIME I SEE KAYLA WE WILL ROCK OUT THAT SONG FOR YOU! LOVE YOU. KISS.

HEY BABY... YOU KNOW I REALLY JUST DON'T KNOW HOW WE ALL ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS CHRISTMAS. HONESTLY I DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE IT AT ALL AND IM TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP POSITIVE CAUSE I KNOW YOU WOULD WANT THAT BUT NOTHING FEELS RIGHT. I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I HAVE BEEN FINDING MYSELF CRYING AT EVERY LITTLE THING LATELY. CHRISTMAS DAY IS GOING TO BE SO HARD TO WAKE UP AND NOT HAVE YOU LAYING NEXT ME AND YOU BEING ALL EXCITED TO SEE WHAT MOM AND DAD GOT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS AS YOUR BIG PRESENT CAUSE IT WOULD DRIVE YOU CRAZY THAT I KNEW AND YOU NOT BUGGING ME EVERYDAY TO TELL YOU IS SO WIERD, AND FOR YOU TO TEASE ME BACK...IT SO CRAZY HOW THE SMALLEST THINGS IN LIFE MAKE UP THE BIGGEST PART OF YOUR SOUL AND HEART. THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A HORRIBLE YEAR AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER...NEW YEARS WITH NO POKER GAME AND NO KISS AT MIDNIGHT IS GOING TO BE HARD. IM NOT GOING OUT...MAYBE YOU COULD COME HANG OUT WITH ME. GEN'S DAD DIED ON FRIDAY NIGHT SO MAYBE YOU COULD STOP BY AND COMFORT HER IN SOME WAY...I DON'T KNOW WAHT TO DO FOR HER. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH...HOPE YOUR HAVING HAPPY HOLIDAYS UP THERE AND HOW LUCKY ARE YOU THAT YOU GET TO SPEND JESUS' BIRTHDAY WITH HIM. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. KISS.

I MISS YOU ZAK!!! AND EVERYTHING YOU STOOD FOR IN LIFE AND WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU IN OUR HEARTS & SOULS. LOVE YOU FROM DAD

You are so RIGHT Kayla that is what I told everybody, that ZAK!!! is the only thing I want for Christmas. We are going to the tree of sharing and take name tags and buy gifts for people and put ZAKs name on the tag's I LOVE and Miss you ZAK I will see you again someday. LOVE Dad

Everytime I go out Christmas shopping I see things and think, "Zak would like that!" Sometimes I want to buy them just because. I wish you had an adress I could send them to...actually then I would just send myself...so I could see you one last time. I miss you so much! Love you! I think I know what everyone's Christmas wish would be this Christmas!

Ya know Roy sure misses you alot just by some of the things he says to me I can tell.Your Mom and I Miss you so much and there is always certain things at the shop where she will say something about how she would yell at you to come upstairs and watch something on ellen and we talk about different things that you always did like running the grinder or the cutoff wheel and stop take your phone and text someone and put your phone back in your pocket and never miss a beat.there was just so many small things along with all the fun things that we miss about you every minute of everyday I Miss and Love You so much,I wonder what we did wrong to have you taken from us.It sure hurts all the time.

Hey Babe. You know when Brady comes over he loves to play around and type stuff on my laptop. He always types "miss you Zak" and types your name over and over. He misses his uncle Zak just like the rest of us. Your brother and sister continued your day after Thanksgiving shopping tradition, I think they left the house around 3:30 AM. Fun for them. We all miss you terribly, I will be putting up a Christmas tree for you soon. I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

to go back one year from today and know what I know now, I would have run over that bike to keep this from happening. I love and miss you ZAK.life will never be great now it is just OK.

Zak...it snowed today...5 inches! Wish you were here to spend the winter with us...and every winter to come. I miss you and love you very much!

HEY WOOBIE. GOSH I MISS YOU SO MUCH. IM REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW AND NEED YOU TO BE HERE WITH ME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! KISS.

I love and miss you ZAK very much I'm so sorry life went this way, Christmas was always your favorite and I don't know how tough this will be on your Mom and I and I know it will really be hard on Josh & Lexi you always spent the nite Christmas eve this one will be so strange.I am not sure how to except this. Love Dad

Hey babe, here it is a couple days past Thanksgiving. It was the first Thanksgiving that Dad and I haven't been with all of our kids. Everything went pretty well as long as I was busy but the minute everything was done, the table was set, and everyone was seated, it hit me that you wouldn't be there. The gates just opened and it was so hard to keep it together. I didn't make shrimp cocktail this year, just couldn't bring myself to do it when you weren't here to bug me about it. This is just the beginning of the hardest holiday season in history. Where do we go from here? I know you want us to go on doing our thing and to be happy but that is much easier said than done. Everything that we do or see reminds us of you, in a way that is a blessing but in another way it makes it so hard to cope. You will never know how much you are missed but I hope you knew how much we love you. Happy Thanksgiving to you my beautiful son, I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

I love you!!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving hun!!! I wish you could be here with us.. I miss you so much... XOXOXOXOXO

I miss you so much, Life is so odd without you here. Kevin Shaw stopped in the shop today I showed him the dog He was in awe over the complete truck and the dash. You should be here getting the praise you deserve. well we know that we will have to accept the praise for you. see you again someday love Dad

HEY BABE...WELL TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. I HAVE TO BE HONEST AND SAY IT REALLY ISN'T A HAPPY ONE. AND TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING AND IM JUST REALLY NOT IN A HOLIDAY SPIRIT MOOD THIS YEAR. EVERYTHING IS JUST TOO DIFFERENT. IT DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME. IM NOT PUTTING UP OUR TREE THIS YEAR...I MISS YOU TOO MUCH. MY HEART STILL HURTS JUST AS MUCH AS THE FIRST DAY YOU LEFT. I JUST WISH I HAD ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU TO SAY ALL I NEED AND WANT TO SAY...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE. KISS.

Hey Babe, the last few days have been extremely hard. I wonder if you have any idea how much different our life is without you. Everyday is a struggle just to get through. I wish there could have been a warning to you not to take life for granted by riding that bike to fast. I don't think that it's fair that he took you away from us, a warning would have worked, you would have learned your lesson and gotten rid of that stupid bike. We would all be together again for Thanksgiving and every other holiday. Your brother and sister miss you so much, the 3 of you were so close. All the weekends of poker and playing Wii with Lexi and just being her big brother. The gallivanting around town with Josh or picking him up at all hours. You were always there for him to talk to, he could call you anytime, for anything and he would return the favor by helping you with home remodeling or some weekend warrior project. My heart hurts for them, I want so much to protect them from the pain. It's sad around here, you aren't here to make us laugh. I miss you so much, I Love You. See Ya Later, Mom

you know how I told you. You were my best friend, besides my son I really never realized how much you were there for Josh there will never come a day where we 4 will ever quit loving and missing the very beautiful person you always were and how much you completed our lives so much of life isn't fair.And there will never be anything in life that will ever be more unfair than You being taken away from us so early in life when, You had so much more to accomplish in life here with us We love and miss You so very much I love you ZAK and the big empty hole in me will always be there and time doesn't help much at all. see You again someday love Dad

Hey Babe, Well we had to finally breakdown and buy a new fork lift today. Not actually new but new to us and alot newer than the other one. I don't think you would be able to tip this one over like you did the other one, well.....maybe. We are off to hockey tonight. I Love You and miss you. See Ya Later, Mom

HI! the other day i had my check up for the baby and guess what!?! he is going to induce me on the 13th. it is a sad day but i at the same time i know you will watch over us on that day. im so happy my son is sharing a day of rememberance with you! love you zak!

Hey Babe, Well it's one week till Thanksgiving, that's gonna be a tough day. Holidays will never be quite the same. I still have some bitterness in my heart and probably always will. There are so many BAD people out there, why are they still here and you aren't? You should be here to grow old with us and to keep us laughing like you always did. I am sure that you have a large audience up there but I would still rather have you here with us, call me selfish. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving but most of all I wish you were here. I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

You know what I'm gonna be thankful for this Thanksgiving...even though it was only for a short while, and you were taken WAY too soon...but just having you in my life, and still having you watch over me. I love you...and the holidays won't be the same without you!

Wow it's been a long 5 months. I swear time has stopped, the days and nights without you have gotten longer and darker. It seems like just yesterday. That is one of my biggest regrets, not going to Lexi's graduation party to see you one last time. I wonder if anything would have been different? If I was there would you have stayed longer to catch up or if Russ was with me would you guys have talked about his new bike like you did the last time we saw you? I think the hardest part for me is not spending more time with you. When Brady was in the hospital you were such a huge help. You called me every morning to make sure I was eating and taking care of myself. You were the best then, always and forever! XOXOXOXO Love you!

INSTEAD OF COUNTING THE DAYS YOU HAVE BEEN GONE SOMETIMES I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS GOING TO SEE YOU SO I COULD COUNT DOWN THE DAYS TO THEN...I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH. I MISS MY BEST FRIEND...I LOVE YOU. KISS.

If you were still here I wonder what these 5 months would've brought to our friendship...how it would've grown stronger. Instead it's just the pain that grows stronger and it seems an eternity before I'll get to see you again. I cried myself to sleep thnking of you last night. I miss you so much and love you!

well ZAK 5 months and a life time later. I still feel a strange loss of no return.you were our families beacon and now all we have is a candle, with to much wind, you are still a brite lite that seems to shine on heavens side not our side.We love and miss you and one day will get to see your smiling lite in person. Love Dad

Hey Babe, Well it's the 13th again, unbelievable! 13 is definitely an unlucky number these days, every 13th marks another month that you have been gone. I'll have a Corona for you tonight as I do every 13th. No matter how much time passes I still have the feeling that it is all a dream. I will wake up and we will be normal again, as normal as we ever were anyway. All the crazy things that happen in life have really become incidental compared to this. It's amazing how your mindset changes when something like this happens. I smile to think of all the great memories that we have and how fortunate we were to always be a tight knit little family. I miss you so much, I wish I could just close me eyes and you would be there. I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

HEY BABE!! I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE...IM SORRY! I HAVE BEEN REALLY REALLY SICK FOR OVER TWO WEEKS AND SO I GO TO WORK AND COME HOME AND GO TO BED BUT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND I REALLY WISH YOU WERE HERE!! IT'S GOING TO BE WIERD NOT WAKING UP ON MY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SINGING TO ME. I SUPPOSED TO BE GOING OUT ON SATURDAY...I HOPE YOU WILL BE THERE. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU WOOBIE.

you know what a great rush you would be getting all the time with the customers who say how kool the DOG is. I wish you could be here to recieve the praise you deserve. And by the way I change the name of the dog to it's rightful name I told ROY we need to call it doggie style because it is the dog first off and wow does it ever have style. I know you would have really got a kick out of that. I will always love you and miss you more than most people will understand. you were always my son and also you were my best friend. And I will miss you for all the days of my life. from Dad

Hey Babe, I watched the new season of Real Housewives today, that was our show and I can't believe that I don't get to go to work tomorrow and discuss it with you. I enjoyed that so much, talking about all the crazy people with too much money. There are so many things that I miss, some small things, some huge things, but mostly I just miss you.I Love You, See Ya later.

OK, so as all of us know it's actually been almost 5 months and not 4. Sometimes I have a hard time seeing through the tears as was the case in my last post. It doesn't really matter, because time doesn't heal, no matter what anyone says. So whether it's 5 months or 5 years the hurt and emptiness will remain. WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ZAK!

Hey Babe! Well here it is almost 4 months, going on a million years, since you've left us. I never in my life thought anything could hurt so bad. Everyday I cry, a few tears some days, and days like today a lot of tears. It comes in waves, without warning. I honestly don't think anybody has any idea how painful this is for us. Life goes on for others, but for us without you, it just kinda stands still. We make the best of it, Dad, Josh, Lexi and I. But for us, something will always be missing. I just want to reach out and give you a giant hug, I should have done that more often! All the coulda, shoulda, woulda's. If we knew! I see your face smiling in the back yard, trying to dodge having your picture taken and then I see you lying on the blacktop with the paramedics over you and the police telling us stay back. I shouldn't have stayed back, I needed you to know that I was there. The one thing that I hope I have accomplished in this lifetime is to always be there for you kids, through all the good and bad, heartbreaks and celebrations. Thanksgiving is coming soon, it will be the first Thanksgiving without all of my children. I don't know how things will go but I guess we will see. Missy and Doug plan on coming as long as the weather holds. If the weather gets bad, it will just be us 4 :( I think I will get Lexi to make something for Thanksgiving this year. You would have gotten a kick out of that, giving her a bad time about not knowing how to cook or some ornery remark. We could always depend on you for a smart ass comment, I don't know where you got that. I do however know where you got your huge heart, you were born with it. From the time you were just a little guy you always cared about others. All the times you would worry about me when I was 10 minutes late picking you up from Brenda's. You would stand at the window with tears steaming down your face, worried that something had happened to me. Now it's me standing at the window, sitting in the chair, or driving the car with tears streaming down my face because I miss you so much and I still can't believe that you are gone. SEE YA LATER, I LOVE YOU, MOM

You know, I used to be so scared of death and dying...but now I know, that when I come to the point where I am barely holding onto life in my old age, that decision will be so easy to make. I can just say, God, please take me to be with Zak. So...no more am I scared, because I KNOW whether I am still down here on this earth or up in heaven in your presence, you will protect me. Thanks for watching over me Zak...I'll see you when I get there! I love you and miss you more than words can say! ~Dizz

Hi Zak! Every time I get on your site to leave a message I always read what friends and family wrote to you. It's crazy how much of an impact you had on everyone. It's really cool to drive down the street and see your sticker in the window of peoples cars. I was getting gas and a green jeep pulled up, he had your RIP sticker in the back window. I didn't know who he was but it was awesome to see. I hope that when my day comes I made as much of an impact as you did on everyone but those are some big shoes to fill :) Love you! XOXOXOX

Hey hun, I'm just thinking to myself that as time goes by this isn't getting any easier, the more time that goes by I realize that this isn't a bad dream!! I just wish you could come home and I wish I would have got to spend more time with you that day!!! Guess where we went on Hallowween The Star and it brought back a lot of memories and I pictures you sitting at that table we sat everytime, only if u could of really been there!! I miss you and love you so much.. We all just have to go on with our lives without you and that is so hard.. Why did this have to be you and in the back of my mind I still can't believe all of this. I check up on Baker, Dustin, Amanda, Kayla and your mom.. Your mom checks up on me cause she says she knows you would want her to.. I miss you... XOXOXO

Hey Zak! this weekend was the baby shower! it was so much fun! your mom and sister came. i was sooo happy to see them, i wish i wasnt as busy cuz i didnt get much of a chance to talk with them. but we got two of the most wonderful gifts ever!!! your mom had an orange long sleeve onesie made that says ZAK on the front with a 94 on the back and she made a green really soft blanket with orange silky trim that says ZAK on it! i cried when i opened it. those were the best gifts anyone could have gotten!!! travis was soooo happy when i got home and showed him. he misses you alot. so does kayla. she still talks about you all the time. well have a good day and talk to you soon!

I LOVE & MISS You ZAK!!! I wish life would have taken a different path one with you still on it with us, some say life is short I say a blink of the eye and so many things are gone and so,MISSED! I thank you for all the gifts of life you gave me and your Mom & Josh & Lexi we are all richer than most to have had you in our lives for 26 years. but it doesn't make the pain of loosing you any easier. So all we can do is go on with life on earth and try to reach for something good that might come to us while still on this planet,I will love You and never forget You as long as I live.Keep watching over us Love Dad

HAPPY HALLOWEEN BABE...I MISS YOU MY SEXY LIL CAPTIN! I BET YOUR THE PRETTIEST ANGEL THIS IS THIS HALLOWEEN. I LOVE YOU.

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear, Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay" And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. WE LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH, MOM & DAD

Hey babe! You know it's unbelievable how much of an impact you made on so many lives in your short 26 years here with us. Everyday seems to be a struggle and then I think about all the great memories that you gave us. It doesn't make it any easier but it does seem to side track my mind for a bit. Do you think I made all the right decisions for you? That has got to be the most haunting thing ever. Everyday I wonder. It's all such a fog. So many questions with no answers. I guess when I see you again I can ask you if I did right by you, until then I just wonder. I love you and miss you tons. Mom

HEY WOOBIE...STOPPING BY TO SAY HI AND THAT I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE WITH ME TODAY. I MISS YOU... CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! ~GOODNIGHT BABE. KISS.

Hi Zak, I was looking thru some old pictures lastnight and I found a bunch with you in them. There was a couple from our wedding. Remember how happy you were when you found out you were walking down the aisle with Kristi. I swore you guys would get married one day adn I think you did sometimes too. Remember the fit I threw about your hair. You begged me to die it, you had circles and Josh had cow spots. You guys always had the craziest ideas when it came to your hair. How silly to think back and how mad I got. You were so sweet and cut your hair before the wedding for pictures. You looked very handsome in your tux. It's really sad that you won't get to wear one for your wedding. I wish you would have gotten married to an amazing girl and had kids. Your kids and wife would have been so blessed. Well I better go, it's always hard to leave you. I love you XOXOXOX!!!

I sometimes think that you did not realize how permanant death is and what the out come like this would do to all of us, it is so heart breaking to be with out you. In my life, because of what we had and where we were going. This has showed me no matter how high life can become the decend can devastate you. I LOVE YOU ZAK!! and for some stupid reason I never told you this when you were here.And now your gone.

GUESS WHAT BABE? THE RED SOX ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!! YESSSS!!! IM SO STOKED!! I KNOW YOU ARE TOO!! YAY!! ~ I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BUNCHES! GOOD NIGHT WOOBIE...KISS.

and ZAK every passing day does not get easier it just makes time seem very erelavent.But we will survive and keep you in our hearts & souls You will Be Loved and Missed all our days on this earth.And your Mom and I must have raised you right because it amazes me how much you touched everybodies lives but we had quite a canvas to start with I LOVE You Bud

hey ZAK your Mom and I went to this small little bar on the south hill and hung out with Ed and Bernette you know it's really amazing how much Ed loved you and your friend ship he told me that him and all his girls talk about you all the time you made such a good empression on his girls and he said he just loved you and your personna. I don't think that any one human, Could have left such a long legacy of family and friends the way you have. I Miss you at the shop,But like I told your we had so much fun at the ehop and different friend and family would stop by and visit and some of the fun razzing you would give dustin for something he did. and all the times I would go into the shop and YOU & Roy would be working on something together or building a bracket for a off the wall Power steering setup and we always made sure they worked.By the way the P/S setup we sent Roy Miller in griffen georgia he told me it works great.He is such a cool old Guy told me he is sorry we lost you and he lost a son also.He was very close to. so he kind of has a notion of what it feels like.You know it is amazing how sometimes when I'm there alone working on the HIPPO. I can feel you walking up looking over my shoulder and saying that's how I would do it, or just the opposite you would say that's not how I would've done it. I miss every little thing we did together but at the shop is where we had spent the most time and where we created some cool things and the dog for Roy is one thing he just can't show enough to customers when they come to the shop.and Bill Ith was here from seattle about a week ago and said picture don't do the dog justice. and he is right sometimes at the shop I will just stop what i'm doing and just stand there and admire the dog and the white truck we built for josh that is now Bakers. I don't think time helps all that Much Becuase as time goes by I just seem to miss you more and find something else yo started on at the shop and all I can do is just stop and start tearing up we have alot of history together at this shop and our old shop on perry sometimes I just drive by there and think of things we did there together. I LOVE YOU ZAK and Miss YOU more with each passing day. LOVE Dad

Hey Babe, well I went and got the chrome removed again today. It'll be all good for awhile, I have to keep an eye on it cause you always did that for me. The wind is kicking some serious arss today and the dinger is driving your Dad crazy. Amazing all the inside jokes I can think of, just between us here at work. Dad says he likes being here cause he feels close to you, I feel just the opposite. It's way to quiet now, you should be here making noise, blaring music, and of course... TEXTING. I miss you so much, it's coming up to Halloween again, no party this year. I think I'll just turn off the porch light and eat all the candy myself, wanna come? I'll get a bag of jalapeno chips and some Gatorade if ya want. I guess you won't need a costume this year, you will be an angel, now and forever. See Ya Later, I Love You, Mom

Hey Zak...for some reason it has been really hard for me to leave a message on here. The only reason I can think of as to why is because then I know that all of this isn't a bad dream or nightmare for that matter, it is real. You have really left us. I hate it so much. I, like everybody else, hate talking of memories and things about you in a past tense. You know it really hurts and everyday something reminds me of you and at any given moment I can think of you and tear up. Not because I think that you aren't in a better place but just because I wish you could be here with us. Oh what I would give to have you try to convince me to come out with you "come on Jean just for one beer" or to be able to call you and say Kristina and I are on our way to get you and we are going to Applebees to have nachos...you always ate our jalopenos and then your nose would run. Really though I think your nose ran everytime you ate no matter what it was. On Saturday, a bunch of us went out and I bought a round of Corona's and we all topped to bottomed them and everybody beat me but I still finished it. You know it is the fist time that I have ever finished a whole Corona and I did it for you! You probably don't think its as cool as I did because you never understood how anyone could not like a Corona and especially with a lemon in it. Your Mom is quite the Corona champ, you taught her well. She can sure put them back nowadays. You would never guess how Hattie and I got to Bottoms Up that night...yep we rode in the back of the Titan under the tonneau cover. Josh made fun of me for calling it a ta now cover and he wouldn't quit laughing to tell me how to pronounce it, so ta now cover it is. Anyway, we are going to the River Inn tonight for Chris's last night (who would of thought that he would ever leave that place eh?) and I promise to have a corona with you and i might just have some poppers too. PS - Sensuous, keep watching over us ;) I love you Zak!

How do I put into words how I feel...this pain that I have, I don't want, its too real...I want to see you before me, to see your face...must be a reason God took such a soul, one we cannot replace...always in my dreams, forever in my heart...I pray for a day we don't have to be apart...but until then, please hold my hand...lead me through this journey that leads to you in the end........I love you Zak and can't wait to see you again! ~Dizz

LAST NIGHT I GOT TO HOLD YOU AND KISS YOU AND TOUCH AND TALK TO YOU AND IT FELT SO REAL... SO REAL THAT WHEN I WOKE UP IT THOUGHT IT WAS, I REALLY DID! I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP SO I CAN BE WITH YOU. I HAVE NEVER HAD A DREAM THAT FELT TO SO REAL... AND YOU CAME HOME AND EVERYONE WAS CELEBRATING... I WANT YOU TO HOME NOW. I WANT MY DREAM TO COME TRUE... I NEED YOU. I LOVE YOU!!! KISS.

Hey Zak! so baby zaks shower is coming up! i think your mom and sister are going! im excited! but im a lil nervous for the whole delivery thing. i found out monday i have to have a c-setion, not that you want to hear about that, but anyways, can you do me a favor? just make sure everything goes well with him. please watch over him and make sure he is ok. have a good day! and you better be ready to have a beer with us after he is born :)

I wish I could just put all this pain in a bubble and blow it away...it hurts so much!!! I love you and miss you with all my heart! ~Dizz

HEY YOU... I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING A FEW MINUTES AGO AND RAN AROSS ALL THE LETTERS AND CARDS YOU GAVE OVER THE YEARS... THERE IS THIS ONE WHERE AFTER YOUR NAME YOU DREW A LITTLE TURTLE, IT IS THE CUTEST LIL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. IT'S HARD TO LOOK AT YOUR HANDWRITING. YOU HATED YOUR HANDWRITING YOU ALWAYS HAD ME WRITE EVERYTHING OUT... I KEPT EVERY LITTLE NOTE YOU WROTE ME... THERE IS THIS ONE ON A ORANGE 3X5 CARD AND ALL IT SAYS IT IS "I LOVE YOU BABY", THAT ONE GOT TO ME THE MOST. TODAY IS JOSH'S BIRTHDAY... LAST YEAR FOR HIS BIRTHDAY WE WENT AND HAD SUSHI AND I WAS SO GROSSED OUT BY IT BUT YOU KEPT TELLING ME "IT'S GOOD HONEY, JUST TRY IT" AND SO THIS SUMMER I FINALLY DID AND YOU WERE RIGHT, I LOVE IT! LAST NIGHT I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW COOL IT WOULD BE TO GO OUT WITH JOSH FOR SOME SUSHI AND WINE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY... I KNOW YOU WILL BE THERE WITH HIM FOR WHATEVER HE DOES BUT IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME... I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU BABY! ~KISS.

Hey Babe! So it's been 4 months plus 1 day and tomorrow will be 4 months plus 2 days. That's how my mind works, another day, and another day, and another day. The hurt doesn't heal, the sadness doesn't go away, the days just go by. I'm sure that people think that our sadness will go away, it never will, we just push it down farther and farther inside ourselves. Since Dad and I have always been so involved in our kids lives it's even harder. We always did everything as a family. Bowling, game nights, hockey, bonfires, hiking and so much more. Now we just have the memories of all those great times together. I'd give anything to go back. I always think about what a big strong man you were, how could this happen to you. How precious life is, how much we take for granted, it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. So as the song says "DON'T BLINK". I love you and I miss you so much, Mom

yesterday your mom and I we went to your cross and brought you a huge balloon. and when I was standing there it is so wierd, It isn't like we said hey let's go visit ZAK because all we have is memories. there is such a large empty place in my heart & soul. This is the place where one of my kid's is gone completely missing for all of my life.I Love and Miss you ZAK I will see you again someday.

Hey Babe! What a difference a year makes. Last year at this time we were at the Peacock room have munchies and drinks for Josh's birhtday. You would tell me later in the evening, "Mom, you are being loud, lower your voice a liitle." Tonight we are without you an all I can think about is you. Josh should not have to celebrate his birthday without his little brother by his side. I miss you so much it hurts. I love you, Mom.

I THOUGHT OF YOU WITH LOVE TODAY, BUT THAT IS NOTHING NEW, I THOUGHT OF YOU YESTERDAY, AND DAYS BEFORE THAT TOO, I THINK OF YOU IN SILENCE, AND OFTEN SPEAK YOUR NAME, NOW ALL I HAVE IS MEMORIES, AND YOUR PICTURE IN A FRAME, YOUR MEMORY IS MY KEEPSAKE, WITH WHICH I'LL NEVER PART, GOD HAS YOU IN HIS KEEPING, AND I HAVE YOU IN MY HEART. I LOVE YOU HONEY AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY... FOUR MONTHS TOO LONG. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. KISS.

Goodnight Zak...have a good weekend! I love you!!!

Zak your mom found a ceramic house you made her and I in a box marked mom+dad it was when you were in about 2nd or 3rd grade it is so cool.and has a little homemade card about fall and eating thanks giving dinner and about all the leves is how you spelled it and when your mom handed it to me and I opened it I had to fight back the tears so i could read the card I can't stand the thought of never getting to ever talk to you or see you again on this earth.sometimes it seems like more than I can bare.I will miss you till the day I die and get to see you again face to face I LOVE YOU ZAK I know your doing better than we are but it does not stop me from wishing you were here with us. Love Dad

Brady is here with me at work and wanted to see your page and say hi. He said you are so...cool to have your own web page. It's really sad that it took such a tragedy for you to get one. He wants you to know he loves you and misses you very much. He also says the hippo at the shop is really awesome and loves going there and hanging out with papa but it's not the same. I went there to get him today and it's so...quite. I was waiting to hear your music when we entered the back of the shop. The hippo is awesome but you already know that and we know your right next to Dad leading the way for an amazing truck to soon be on the road it's going to turn heads just the way you'd like it. We love you so much, Brady says see ya and he loves you!

Hey Zak, just thinkin about ya and thought I would say hi. Brady and I were talking yesterday about you and he asked if I had any stories to tell him about you. I told him the story of when you lived with Josh and I and how just you and I would stay up for hours and talk about anything and everything. My problems, your problems....mostly your girl problems. We talked about how one day when we were board, you had me paint your toe nails, it took me forever because they were so....BIG....just like your heart! I miss those times, all the times I took for granted. You used to tell me everynight, "I'm not tired yet, stay up with me". I wish I would have, just one more story, just one more great memory.

While lying in bed this morning, struggling to get up for work, I was thinking back on that week we spent in the hospital with you. Seeing you lye there as if you were only sleeping. I had so much faith...knowing how strong you are! I was so sure that you were just going to wake up, open your eyes and walk right out of that room. Which you did...right up that stairway to heaven to watch over us. That must've been the decision you made...because you always put everyone else before yourself...and I thank you for that. Thank you for watching over us! I can feel your presence every day! I'm so glad you're not hurting any longer...but if only I could see you and hold your hand one last time. I miss you more than words can say! I love you Zak! ~Dizz

I don't think there is any way I ever cried more in my life. as I have the last 4 months I miss you,and LOVE YOU ZAK.May Jesus Walk With You and Talk with You and he will see What we have lost and he has gained.

Hey babe! Thanks for the sunshine today, it helped a little. I've been pretty blue lately, doesn't really have anything to do with the weather but I can blame it anyway. If I could see your smiling, ornery little face I'd feel much better. Hockey started last Saturday, we lost the first home game in a shoot out, figures huh? You would say "those damn Chiefs, oh well ya wanna play poker?" Boy would I ever love to do that. I'd bring over some 7 layer dip and I would even LET you take my five dollars (cause I borrowed it from Dad anyway). Where do we go from here? Dad, Josh, Lexi and I are never going to be the same. We are a family with something missing and that something is you. That's huge! Do you have any idea how much you mean to us? We just wish it was a dream and now it's time to wake up, problem is when we wake you still aren't here. I see your hat hanging in the bed post and I know it's true, you're gone. :( I miss you soooooo much, my hearts breaks everyday. Please watch over us, I love You. See Ya Later, Mom

I hate this Zak...I really do!!! I hate not having you here! I try to make myself imagine anything or any excuse so I don't have to believe that you're really gone. Like you're just on a long vacation. I want you back and I need you here! Any time I find my self hurting or in tears over struggles in my life...I just end up hurting more and crying twice as many tears because I end up crying over you and the fact that I can't call you and hear you tell me it will be ok...and to tell me, "I love you Kay!" Any time I'm in pain, for any reason, it's just a constant reminder that you're gone. When is it going to stop hurting Zak? I miss you so much and I love you!!! ~Dizz

You know Zak your mom and lexi tried to get some family together to play a new game we bought last nite and no wanted to come over, well this morning she said to me now I know how Zak felt when ever he tried to get people to come over to his place to play games or poker they always had something else to do or just too tired. And she is right and she started crying and I felt really bad.you were always there with us to play game's watch a movie, or just to hang out.I am sorry that you are no longer here with us I can't beleive how tough it is to go through life without you here with us. Too just show people there's more to life then working all the time.I'm not sure what life is supposed to be,although I don't think is was to hurt this much at any given time.We miss you,and LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! I will see you again someday Love Dad

Hey dude! I wanna play games tonight! I miss you so much! I want little smokies and to see your horrible poker face, I think I only saw you bluff like twice because you used to get so excited about a good hand... I miss you more then I know how to miss someone.

Hey Zak, I have to ask you a favor. My Sister is going through alot right now and you and her were bestfriends, you guys talked everyday about anything and everything. She needs a little bit of strength right now to get through this tough time. Please just watch over her and give her some strength. She has been lost without you and hasn't been the same since. I know you'll know what to do. Love ya Zak!

Zak a customer came in yesterday a commercial fisherman owns his boat had brought in a picture of a 19 foot greatwhite it looked like jaws and 1034 lbs when they roped it by it's tail he pulled them about 4 to 5 miles backward of the boat and they took on quite a bit of water and this was right off the seattle coast.you would have love talking to Jerry is his name really a nice guy. I sure miss you Zak.You would have loved this guy's stories I LOVE You Zak from Dad.

HEY BABY... I CAN'T SLEEP... I CAN FEEL YOU HERE BUT I CAN'T SEE YOU, BUT I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME... I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU... I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU... KISS.

Hey Zak, another day has past and I can't believe it, you're still gone...it seems like a dream, like Mom said a nightmare. When we first found out about Brady that's what it felt like, a nightmare. Why him?? Why you?? Why do bad things happen to some of the best people...people that everyone should know and love, maybe this world would be a better place with more people like you and Brady in it. It makes you feel like you lost, like your being punished in some harsh and mean way. It makes you doubt everything in life that's important. I love you Zak and some nights I can't wait to fall asleep to dream of your sweet face. XOXOXOX

Hey Zak...Wii would like to play!!! He he...you always used to text that to me...I miss that! Love you!!! ~Dizz

how are you supposed to act when you lose a good friend? not to violence or drugs but an accident. cuz i just feel so empty and it hurts inside: i think about your life and it makes me cry. its gonna be hard to go on not thinking of you, hanging out drinking beers like we used to, the text and pictures messages that i wouldnt get til a couple days later. "hey man whats going on" are the ones i will miss now that youre gone. dont ever think that we will forget about you; cuz your life will live on here in a few! you know ive got a lil one on the way and were gonna name him after you if thats ok. i will give him all i can and then more; make sure he takes every open door. my boy can do mosy anything to and i just hope that one day he is just like you. you were a craftsman, and an artist that could build almost anything at the drop of a hat. your memory will live on in so many ways; i give you my son for your unspoken days. so as you sit in heaven and watch my family please stand by the side of my son ZAKERY. i love you brother! rest in peace!

Hey Babe! Would you please just call and ask us to come and play poker. It's Saturday night and it's time for me to take your money. It'll never be the same again. I miss You and I Love You, Mom.

I sure miss you ZAK, Wow life sure is strange to know I will never get to see you or talk to .you on this earth is so sad I love you! I'm hoping to have the Hippo done and in the auto boat speed show as a debut.in march.

this isn't what parents are supposed to go threw. with every passing day it's just another trial, to try and understand life with out a child. That you raise and teach and love and respect.when your Mom and I were driving yesterday she said something with your name in a pass tense and I told her that it doesn't even sound right.I Miss you and Love You ZAK.nothing will ever be great.It will always be just ok.

Hey Babe! Well fall is in the air and I am so not ready. It seems that with fall comes dreary days, the mixture of the dreary days in my heart and dreary days of fall are going to be hard. When the holidays come our family will be somber without you. Who's going to bug me about making Grandpa's shrimp cocktail for Thanksgiving? I guess I will make it for Josh and Dad, they like it too. I will never forget how you would call and say what do I need to buy for you to make shrimp cocktail. Small little things that are such huge memories for us. I can't believe how much I miss you. I still have a hard time with the reality of it all, I have moments that I think this is all just a dream, a nightmare is what it really is. Is this punishment for something that I've done? I think back to the hospital and I see you lying there. I wish I could still see you, it just doesn't seem like it was real. I must have been in shock cause now when I think of all those doctors talking to me it's just a blur. How did I listen to them, to all the scary things that they said to me. How did I talk to people? You must have been there helping me. You were always there. I Love You and I miss you. See Ya Later! Love, Mom

You know ZAK so many people keep telling me that with time it will get better.These are people who never lost a son of there own, so how would they know the big empty spot in my heart and my soul.I LOVE and Miss you More everyday it does not get any better somedays are a little bit better than others. The last couple of days have been terrible.You are the Lucky one but we suffer everyday with the sadness.

105 DAYS...STILL AS HARD AS THE FIRST...I THINK ABOUT YOU AND DREAM ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCH. MECHEW IS SITTING ON MY LAP AND HE MISSES HIS DADDY, HE GIVES ME THAT LOOK WHEN I TALK ABOUT YOU AND HE HEARS, IT BREAKS MY HEART. SO MY QUESTION IS...DOES THIS EVER GET EASIER? CAUSE RIGHT NOW I JUST DON'T SEE HOW. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WHEN SOMETHING LIKE WAS GOING ON WE ALL TURNED TO CAUSE YOU SOME HOW HAD A WAY OF MAKING IT BETTER, YOU WERE OUR ROCK. I RELY ON MY FAITH IN GOD TO TRY TO GET ME THROUGH BUT WHAT IF SOMEHOW THATS NOT ENOUGH? I NEED YOUR STRONG ARMS AROUND ME AND TO HEAR YOUR VOICE TELL ME IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK. I NEVER KNEW A HUMAN COULD CRY SO MUCH...THAT THE PAIN IN MY CHEST COULD BE SO PRONOUNCED... THAT THERE REALLY IS A GREAT VOID IN THE WORLD...CAUSE YOUR NOT HERE. HOW DO WE ALL PICK UP THE PIECES AND GO ON WITH OUT GUILT OR EVEN THE WILL? YOU ARE ONE ICREDIBLE PERSON TO HAVE SUCH AN IMPACT ON SO MANY PEOPLES LIVES LIKE THIS. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAS TO BE LIKE THIS. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND TOUCH YOU AGAIN...BUT UNTIL THAT DAY...I LOVE YOU. GOODNIGHT WOOBIE. KISS.

Hey Babe, I love you and I miss you unbelievably. See ya later. Love, Mom

Some nights I catch myself awake looking at your picture...with my eyes full of tears. I still can't grasp why this had to happen to such a beautiful soul like you. I miss you so much! I love you Zak!

I LOVE YOU ZAK!!!!!!

I sure do miss you I look at all these pictures of you josh and lexi,and I wonder where we went wrong,or what we did to deserve this because you were most definitly a big brite lite that always shined in our family.I'm not sure what life is supposed to be anymore.I know that most of the time it is just there.the path's that we are following have come to a strange y where you stand and your not sure what one to take,and what one you leave behind.I LOVE YOU ZAK and I know you are in a better place,But I can't help being selfish and wish you were here with us.LOVE Dad

Hey hun, why did this have to happen? Why you? The one person with the biggest heart who made everybodys life wonderful.. I miss you so much and it kills me inside!!! I don't know how many times I can tell you that this is never going to get any easier.. Its still really hard for me to make it to your cross all I do is look at the spot where they say you were laying and that's all I can picture. Like evrybody else says I wish we could rewind back to that night and u would be here with us making us laugh like usual making sure we are all ok!! Zak nothing will ever be the same without you!! The empty feeling is always going to be here, there are days that I just need your advice and u always had the best.. I love you so much and miss you.. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Kristi

HEY WOOBIE!! GUESS WHAT? IM HAVING MEATBALLS TONIGHT FOR DINNER!! GRANDMA SAYS WHEN SHE GETS UP THERE SHE WILL MAKE YOU SOME. SHE SAID A WHOLE PAN FULL JUST FOR YOU! HOW LUCKY ARE YOU?! LOVE YOU. MISS YOU. KISS. :0)

hey Zak work is so odd and lonely. with out you. We were so proud of everything that was getting built.I sure miss your good nature,and all around fun we had.none of that much, any more except your mom can be a aunry pest. I'll bet your weather isn't turning to yuk. I Love you and will see you again.

Hey Babe, How are you today? Me, the same as always, just getting by. Missin' you tons. I wish I could hang out with you, buy you a new pair of jeans, and just shoot the shit for a while. You loved your designer jeans. Those were the good ole days, the NORMAL life. Now there is no normal, we will always wear our hearts on our sleeves. And our hearts are broken. I Love You, See Ya Later, Goodnight.

Hey Babe, Do you have any idea how much I miss you? Everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second. I had lunch with Cassie today, didn't eat much but we had a really nice visit. There are a lot of things to talk about, you made a big impact on a lot of peoples lives. A big heart like yours touched a lot of people. Where do we go now? Everything else seems to go on, oddly enough, but we are just in neutral. It doesn't seem right for life to go on without you here. Tell me what to do next. I Love You, MOM

Hey guy, A few days ago Heather showed me this comment page, so I got off of work early so I can tell you hi! I talk to aunt Peg every week and she had showed me the most awsome power point that Lex did and I tell you, you have changed so much since the last time I had seen you! I know that it's been awhile since we have seen each other, but I always think about when Grandma had taken you, Josh, Drew, Heather, and I to the inside pool at the rio, and when ya'll came down we all gathered in the gully and played He-Man and hide and seek from Heather it was so fun!! I so miss them days, I wish sometimes that we can all turn back the hands of time!!! I miss you and love you. Talk to you later! your cuz Nikki

Hey babe, there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about you. I think of you when I drive, eat, and even when I watch TV. Everything reminds me of you. Dad and I went over by the old homestead again this weekend. It's unbelievable how everything changes. It won't be long and there will be a highway through the middle of where our old trailer was. They call it progress but it's kinda sad to see everything so different. There were a lot of memories made over there. Remember the day that Baker knocked his front teeth out on the dirt bike. You gave him such a bad time about riding like a girl. I hear from him often, he is just working and partying' like a rock star. He misses you too, we all do. Well Babe I will talk to you later. I Love You, Mom

HEY WOOBIE! SO I WENT TO THE STAR BAR THIS WEEKEND. I LOVE IT! I WENT FRIDAY NIGHT AND LOVED IT SO MUCH I WENT AGAIN TONIGHT. I CAN TOTALLY SEE WHY YOU LOVED IT THERE. BRENT AND HIS BAND WERE PLAYING. IT WAS AWESOME, I HAD SO MUCH FUN! THEY PLAYED SIMPLE MAN, THEY DID AN AMAZING JOB! WISH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!! GOOD NIGHT YOU, LOVE YOU. KISS.

your Mom said it all right how many times we have said how come it is in such times as this that we can't have a rewind button. you know when your Mom and I went out to freya and was looking where our old trailer use to sit I stood there and for a moment I could see you and Josh walking along with your remote controls in hand driving your trucks around the yard yours was red and Josh's was black and i remember Josh jumping his and it went rolling and you said Josh that was dumb your going to break it and then you won't have one because we couldn't afford another.I can still picture you, Josh, dahnail, and rhonda.pulling the inner tube around in the snow with the little red 4 wheeler I miss you so much and life was not supposed to be like this.Oh god how bad it hurts.I LOVE YOU ZAK and will see you soon. Love Dad

I LOVE YOU.

Hey Babe, 94 days ago you left, I still look out the back door expecting you to come pulling up in your truck. I still can't quit thinking about how I looked out the slider and your bike was gone. I had a sick feeling in my stomach when I realized that you had gone without saying goodbye and the next thing I knew my phone rang and it was Kristina telling me to come right away. I can still see you lying there, I see it over and over. I try to change it every time but I can't. How could this happen to us? You were such a big strong man with such a promising future. I want to push rewind now, back to before the accident. I want to change something, anything, that would give you back to us. I Love You, goodnight.

Well...here it is, the start of another lonely weekend without you. All I wanna do is come over, sit on the couch with you and watch one of your favorite shows...then at 11pm decide to go out drinking...he he!!! Words can't even describe how much I miss you! I love you! ~Dizz

Hey sweetie! It has taken me a long time to do this but please know it hasn't been because I don't love you or miss you. The shock continues. I can't believe one minute we were laughing, having fun and the next minute you were gone......what the hell happens now? I still don't get it. Nothing's the same. Why aren't you here to bug me about going to bars you know I'm never going to go to? Why aren't you here for me to scold about using the "F" bomb? Yak, I truely don't get it. You may not have realized it until now (knowing you have a far greater vantage point now) but you had such a HUGE personality; a GIANT presence. You ARE loved. You have left an enormous hole. The echos of you are so precious but unbearable at times. I want you to know, you have always been so special to me. I also want you to know that I ment every word I said to you that day on our outing to Safeway.....and I am proud of you. I'll let ya know if I decide to get that FORD. I love you.................

Hey Babe, I sit here by myself tonight and thoughts are flowing. Thoughts of the good ole times when things were so much simpler. The days when all of us could be together, for dinner or just to hang out and watch TV or play poker. The days of super mario, remote control trucks, and Gopeds. Life was so much different back then, we were all together and nothing like this would ever enter our minds. Now things are different, never does a conversation go by that one of us doesn't say "remember when Zak used to" or "Zak would have loved". Speaking in the past tense in heart breaking. How I wish you were here to be with us, we will never be the same? The 13th of every month brings another tear. It's really just another tear drop in the ever filling bucket. Some days are filled with tears, but all are filled with pain. I never imagined ever in my life that something could hurt so bad. Nothing will ever compare to the pain of losing a child. I love you so much and I know that someday I will see you again. See You Later, Love, Mom

Hey best friend, I know your happy as can be I just wish you were happy with us!! All these tears hurt its been three months and everyday hurts just as bad as that day at the hospital.. How do you just let go of your best friend and face that's he's not coming back? I know I will see you again soon but it can't be soon enough! You have left so many wonderful memories for all of us to remember and no one could ever forget that smile. I just wish I could here I love you kris I would give anything for that. I try to hide all my pain but nobody knows how much pain there really is deep down.. I love you so much Zak.. Kristi

We have been missing you!! so much and it may have been 3 months today, but for most of us it has felt like a life time. I sure do miss your great kindness and your fun razzin.But most of all I miss your whole being.To talk to you face to face and to sit and talk about everything. We use to do together. I have been blessed with three kids and unblessed with one gone from my eye's life is some time's to harsh and most time's way to short! for the one's we love. I will miss and always love you ZAK. I am so sorry for all the life you should of had that now is missed. and gone for ever. I will see you again someday soon. LOVE From Dad

No one knew how it happened or why. We were all so sad; we sat and cried How unfair it should have happened now - Won't someone ever tell me how? His tears had dried, his pain had healed; And God chose this time for his life to yield. It's later now; we can't seem to move on - We miss him as though he had just gone. We'll never forget all the good he did, Even though, to he our farewells we've bid. We love him still, we miss him yet; And on this I'll forever bet. If he is truly in our hearts, From us he'll never be truly apart. I Love you Yak........

When I have moved beyond you in the adventure of life, Gather in some pleasant place And there remember me with spoken words, old and new. Let a tear fall if you will, but let a smile come quickly For I have loved the laughter of life. Do not linger too long with your solemnities, Go eat, and drink, and talk And when you can - Follow a woodland trail, Climb a high mountain Sleep beneath the stars, Swim in a cold river Chew the thoughts of some book that challenges your soul Use your hands some bright day to make a thing of beauty. Or to lift some one's heavy load. Though you mention not my name, Though no thought of me crosses your mind- I shall be with you For these have been the realities of life to me. And when you face some crisis with anguish - When you walk alone with courage When you choose your paths of right When you give yourself in love I shall be very close to you. I have followed the valleys, I have climbed the heights of life. Author Unknown 3 MONTHS AND THE PAIN IS STILL UNBEARABLE! I LOVE YOU ZAK AND MISS YOU TONS. SEE YOU LATER BABE, LOVE MOM

Hey there sunshine, tomorrow will be three months sice you've been gone and oh does it seem like a life time. They say take one day at a time but the days never get any easier they get harder! I love you... Kristi

Hey big bro! So...Do you miss pickin on me yet? Remember when you used to pick on me and I would just run to dad and cry and he would go "Zakery!!" and you would say, "What I didn't do anything!" Man, I miss getting you in trouble...

3 months...and I still miss you every bit as much as the first day! You know what I could really use right now...a text from you that says, "I love you Kay!" Of course I would much rather hear it from your lips...but I know I will again someday...I hope you're one of the first to greet me when I get there...everyone will be drinking wine but you will greet me with a Corona in hand! I miss you so much...the days just aren't the same without you! I love you Zak! ~Dizz

HI WOOBIE. WELL HERE IT IS, THE 13TH AGAIN. GOSH I HATE THIS DAY!!! EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS HOW IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY, BUT FOR ME IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER. A DAY FEELS A MONTH AND THREE MONTHS FEELS A YEAR. YOU ALWAYS SAID I WAS THE STRONGEST GIRL YOU KNEW, SO THEN WHY DO I FEELS SO WEAK? SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE MY HEART COULDN'T HURT ANYMORE AND THEN SOMEHOW IT DOES. DO YOU REMEMBER ME TALKING ABOUT KEVIN FROM MY WORK, HE IS SO FUNNY, I KNOW YOU TWO WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD FRIENDS, YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED HIM! WELL YESTERDAY WE WERE WALKING AROUND THE PARK CAUSE HE WAS HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS AND WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT YOU AND I HATE TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKE YOUR NOT HERE. I JUST WANT TO PICK UP MY PHONE AND SEE A TEXT THAT SAYS "I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL" OR "LETS GRAB A MOVIE TONIGHT AND I WANT TO MAKE YOU DINNER" OR "KISS" ONE WORD BUT MEANT SO MUCH. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE GONE TO OUR HOUSE AND SAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM AND JUST CRIED THINKING ABOUT ALL THE NIGHTS YOU WOULD FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH AND I WOULD WAKE YOU AT EIGHT SO YOU WOULDN'T MISS YOUR CAR SHOWS, OR THE NIGHTS WE LAY IN BED WATCHING ROB AND BIG OR THE HILLS. HOW EVERY NIGHT WE LAID THERE IN THE DARK AND TALKED FOR AN HOUR BEFORE WE FELL ASLEEP, WE TOLD EACH OTHER EVERYTHING, WE WERE BEST FRIENDS. EVERY SATURDAY WE WOULD WAKE UP AND I WOULD SAY LETS GO TO MOM AND DADS AND YOU USED TO THINK IT WAS SO FUNNY CAUSE I SAID EVERY SATURDAY. I LOVED THAT WE ALL WERE SO CLOSE, I LOVED BEING A PART OF YOUR FAMILY. I MISS IT SO MUCH. I MISS YOU, I MISS OUR LIFE, OUR LITTLE HOUSE, AND I MISS OUR LITTLE FAMILY. I MISS SEEING CORONA BOTTLES EVERYWHERE AND ALWAYS HAVING TO PUT THE LEMON AWAY CAUSE YOU WOULD ALWAYS FORGET (BEFORE YOU FOUND THE LEMON SQUEEZER),I MISS THE SMELL OF YOUR STINKY FEET AFTER WORK AND HOW I WOULD BEG YOU TO CHANGE YOUR SOCKS!, I MISS WATCHING YOU PLAY WITH THE DOGS IN THE BACKYARD IN THE POOL, I MISS GOING GROCERY SHOPPING AT ONE IN THE MORNING AND I ALWAYS HAD TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT WHEN WE GOT HOME CAUSE SHOPPING MADE YOU HUNGRY :),I MISS GOING TO NORDSTROMS WITH YOU AND LOOKING A PURSES AND HOW YOU WOULD TRY ON THE SUNGLASSES EVERYTIME, I MISS HOW YOU WOULD DRIVE ME CRAZY SO I WOULD CUT YOUR HAIR CAUSE I NEVER WANTED TO IT WAS SO SEXY ON YOU AND YOU ALWAYS HAD TO CUT IT OFF SO THEN YOU WOULD THREATEN TO GO ASK MOM SO I WOULD FINALLY DO IT, I MISS STARING AT YOU AND YOU THROWING THE PILLOW AT ME SO I WOULD STOP, I MISS WATCHING YOU PLAY POKER ON THE XBOX, YOU WERE SO GOOD! I MISS FIGHTING WITH YOU, I MISS MAKING UP, I MISS KISSING YOU, I MISS YOU HOLDING ME, I MISS HOLDING YOUR HAND, I MISS PLAYING AROUND WITH YOU, I MISS TAKING BATHS WITH YOU. I MISS YOU HONEY, I JUST MISS YOU!!!! FLAWS AND ALL I MISS US. THEY SAY IM YOUNG AND I HAVE TO PICK UP THE PIECES AND MOVE ON...WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO? WHAT IF I CAN'T? I THINK NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU DID SO WHY BOTHER? I KNOW YOUR HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE I JUST WISH WHERE YOU WERE WAS SITTING NEXT ME IN YOUR PARENTS LIVING ROOM AND ALL OF US ARE WATCHING DR. 90210. THE TRUTH IS, ILL NEVER STOP MISSING YOU, ILL NEVER STOP WISHING, AND ILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE AGAIN SOMEDAY, BUT UNTIL THEN.... ILL ALWAYS BE YOUR GIRL. KISS.~~A POEM FOR YOU~~ Gone now but not forgotten, Forever in our dreams, Everyday the sun shines for you, Everyday the roads are dry, The straights go on forever, The bends are as you dream, There are no more worries, There is no more pain, You will be there at every party, You will take part in every race, You will stand there on the podium, You will race along the stars, You will ride upon Gods pillion, And if Angels ride on rockets, Then you will surely travel far, On earth you were my lover, And now you are my star, So glide on heavens highway, And lead them all afar, One day you will be waiting, And together we will ride, Once again together, The white line side by side.

only thing that gives me hope! is knowing that I will see you again someday. I love you ZAK!!! and I know for you everyday is a good day sleep, when you want, eat, when you want, and drink some wine, when you want, I sure miss you though. and always will,love Dad

Hey Babe! The sun shined again today, but it never shines as bright as it used to. We are going on 3 months now and it hurts just as bad as the first day. Did you think I was strong enough to handle this? I think I'm overestimated, I put up a good front, but inside I'm in so much pain. I just want to sleep, everything is painless when I sleep. You used to love to sleep, from the day you were born. I Love You, See You Later, Mom

Hey Babe, I remember seeing the sonshine in your eyes everyday. I miss your beautiful eyes and smile. I also miss the wise cracks that you came up with all the time, you had the best one liners ever. The room always lit up when you entered it. I started having children when I was still a child myself, I wouldn't change that for anything. When I became your mother it was suppose to be for the rest of my life not for the rest of yours. I would give up anything just to have you back. Our lives will never be the same, a little part of us is gone forever. The world is a lonely place, we always had each other. No matter what happened the five of us were always strong together. Our family has always been so close, unbelievably close! Why did this happen to us? I Love You and I miss you, MOM

I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU TODAY AND I WAS REMEMBERING CHRISTMAS EVE WHEN WE WERE AT THE SHOP AND WERE FINISHING DAD'S PRESENT AND YOU TOOK THAT PICTURE OF ME GRINDING ON THE 'FANTROUT'(HAHA)CAUSE YOU SAID IT WAS THE SEXIEST THING YOU HAD EVER SEEN AND THEN THE SONG SHE'S EVERYTHING CAME ON AND YOU GRABBED ME AND WE WERE SLOW DANCING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOP AND YOU SANG IT TO ME AND YOU WOULD CHANGE THE WORDS A LITTLE SO THEY WERE EXACTLY ABOUT ME. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THOSE SPECIAL MEMORIES FOR ME TO TREASURE FOREVER. WISH THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO BE MEMORIES :(. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. GOOD NIGHT WOOBIE. KISS.

JUST SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT YOU. I MISS YOU WOOBIE. I LOVE YOU. KISS.

You know Zak, No matter what I miss seeing you and everything we do I can't help but miss you so much. my life will never be great, It will be just ok. there's so many things I want to talk to you about, that I don't know where to start. I miss our talk's about all types of different subjects.anything and everything is nothing without you!!!! I love you and will see you again soon Love Dad

I was talking to justin last night and we figure the reason ZAK Didn't want to come back is because of the wreck he would not have been the ZAK we knew and could not persue his passion for building our trucks and being able to do what he would have wanted to do. Miss you and love you from Dad.Always in our hearts.And always in our SOULS. See you again in a better place.

By the way they say the lord works in mysterious ways. you can't get any more wierd then that

I had to post this because it was the strangest thing a couple of day's ago I ran into aunt sheri and she chased me down in the orange truck and said she had something to tell me,I said OK and she said look at me I looked her in the eyes and it was crazy. It wasn't as I was looking at her but at some one else and then said to me I gave zak the choice, to go back or stay with me and he made his choice. and she was not at the hospital at all when zak was up there before hand and it was very weird.and a strange calm came over me. I miss zak in more ways than most and always will. I would love to talk to him and let him know that I love him.and for some reason I know he is in a better place. I will miss everything about all the fun times our family had together. and if I had 1 wish it would be to have him back like it use to be.LOVE YOU ZAK,And I will MISS YOU ALWAYS.

HI WOOBIE. SO YESTERDAY WAS A HARD FOR ME. I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO ONE OF OUR FRIENDS. SITTING THERE LISTENING TO EVERYONE TALK ABOUT MIKE AND THE GREAT LIFE HE LED AND THE AMAZING PERSON HE WAS, BROUGHT ME BACK TO THAT DAY SITTING THERE LISTENING TO EVERYONE DO THE SAME FOR YOU. GEN WAS IN AW OF THE FACT THAT WE BOTH HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS. BABY I MISS YOU TERRIBLY, WORDS COULD NEVER EVER BEGIN TO REALLY EXPRESS HOW MY HEART REALLY FEELS AND ACHES. BUT I KNOW YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING NOW. I PRETEND IM OK, AND WHEN EVERYONE ASKES HOW I AM I SAY IM GOOD, GREAT, DOING FABULOUS BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT IM DOING JUST THE OPPOSITE. IM SAD, CRUSHED, AND HEARTBROKEN. I TRY NOT TO CRY TOO MUCH CAUSE I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT YOU WOULD WANT ME DOING BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD. YOU ARE MY SOULMATE, SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN HALF YOUR SOUL IS GONE? CAN YOU JUST MAKES THIS ALL A DREAM, I KNOW IT WOULD BE A BAD ONE BUT AT LEAST I WOULD WAKE UP AND YOU WOULD BE HOLDING ME IN YOUR ARMS TELLING ME IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK IT WAS JUST A DREAM. OH WHAT I WOULD GIVE.....IM LISTENING TO INCUBUS~I MISS YOU RIGHT NOW, GOD THAT SONG GETS TO ME EVERYTIME!~~I KNOW ILL SEE YOU AGAIN WHETHER FAR OR SOON...~~ILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS ZAK....ALWAYS. KISS.

Last night at the dinner table my dad and uncle were discussing rockets and how dangerous they are....I had tears start to well up in my eyes thinking of you. This wasn't supposed to happen to such a big hearted person like you. I don't enjoy life near as much without you here. The world needs more Zaks...although there's only ONE I can think of that I need here more than anything. I love you and miss you so much!!! Time just can't pass fast enough now until the day I get to see you again!!!

Hi hun, after all of these years I never would of thought I would be leaving u messages like this. How do I go on with out you cause I miss you so much and this is so hard. I think back and we have been friends for ten years and now I just have wonderful memories of you!! Only if I could have one of our long talks back just one... I love you... Kristi XOXOXOXOXO

FREE BIRD...If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be traveling on, now, There's too many places I haven't seen And if I stayed here with you, now Things just wouldn't be the same Well I'm as free as a bird now, And a bird you can not change. I LOVE YOU BABE AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, BUT NOT SOON ENOUGH.

I'm sorry I know you hated whenever anybody said love ya so I LOVE YOU!!!! Kristi

Hey hun just wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything and my heart is broken without you!! I think in my mind that you are gone but its still so hard to except.. Will this ever get any easier?? I talked to Baker today... Please watch over Kaylyn while she's gone and don't let her be sad.. I miss you so much!! Love ya

Gosh Zak...didn't they give you a cell phone when you walked through those pearle gates?!!! I keep waiting for you to text me or call me. I would give anything just to hear your voice again!!! I miss you so much and think of you every day! Love you!!! ~ Dizz

Miss you Zak!!

Hey hun, I am just sitting at work thinking about you and how much I miss you and how much you mean to me. This is so hard and will never be any easier, life will never be the same without you. You have touched so many people in so many different ways and everyone thanks you for that cause I know I sure do. There are days that I wish the phone would ring and it would be you, or days I think about if you walked through the door, days I want to drive to your house and you would be there. You were the greatest friend and no one could ever come close to you and how much you cared about me. You always helped me through all my hard times and its really hard trying to turn to someone else. I Love you more than I could ever explain to you. Miss you Zak!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Kristi

Ya know ZAK your mom said to me when I said I wish we could go back in time before we loaned you the money for that bike. And know what we know now,We would not want to, and I say we would not have let you get that stupid bike. And I still can't think of a reason god took such a big hearted kid.and I see thing's like wayne's kid and how terrible of a person he is and god leaves people like him on this earth and takes good people. And there is no way to explain it, Wow what a plan,and were supposed to live life and enjoy it.HA HA maybe I'm being selfish Oh well. I love you and miss you, and think of you every minute of every day I know your the lucky one but it does not help all of us to wonder why and always pondering the why? I'll see you again someday, Love Dad

Hey Zak...it's another holiday without you and really hard to grasp that you really are gone! Brady starts school and so not ready, we went school shopping and he got some really cool stuff he says you'd like. I got him a pair of blue and bright green Pumas...they are too cute. We miss you so much and know will see you again in time! We love you;)

Hey Zak...it's another holiday without you and really hard to grasp that you really are gone! Brady starts school and so not ready, we went school shopping and he got some really cool stuff he says you'd like. I got him a pair of blue and bright green Pumas...they are too cute. We miss you so much and know will see you again in time! We love you;)

Hi best friend just wanted to tell you that your parents just stopped by my work to say hi and it made me really happy, they are wonderful. It reminded me of when you always use to come in here and you would wait and play with all the phones and text message people from them. Or when you would bring me lunch. You would always ride your rocket to Zips and bring me chicken and fries. Well I love you.... Miss you Kristi

“People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

Hey hun so I miss you so much and wish you were here to help me through all my hard times, its really hard going on cause this is never gonna be any easier. There's not a day that goes by that your not in my thoughts. Last night we were sitting by the fire and Kaylyn just kept saying Uncle Zak is up there and she gets a big smile on her face. I know you were there with us but just wish I could of seen you!! I miss your face... Well I love you and just wanted to tell you that im always thinking of you.. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Kristi

you know ZAK, who ever said time heals never lost a child. I know first handed now what it feels like to miss not only your kindness.but to miss everything about you.I can't believe what weird emptiness,feels like.I try to go on with life as normal as possible.I am so glad that your mom and I are so close to each other and have so many of the same feelings.Because she has her bad days and I have mine. and we need each other to lean on.I love you and miss you. and will see you again someday.

Hey Babe! Dad is getting another tattoo this weekend, I think you got him hooked. He is pretty excited about it. We had a nice birthday party for him, he got a lot of old fart stuff. The one wish that we couldn't fulfill, is that you could be here to celebrate with us. We all miss you so much. The emptiness in our hearts never seems to get any better. The days just melt together and dump into a big puddle called life. I wish someone would through me a life jacket, if only it was that easy. Well babe you got the easy part, you are free from all worry, pain, and stress. We are left here to be cry, question, and just be human. I Love You, See Ya Later, Mom

Oh!! and by the way We never went to red lobster your Mom tricked Me with a surprise old fart birthday party. So she still owes me a red lobster meal.And for your info I could here you laughing, from Senior.

you know Zak, Roy & Myself are always saying remember when Zak did this or when Zak did that and when we talk about different things that have happened at the shop.I sure get all balled up inside.then all I can do is walk away and go back to my office.And then sit there and look at your pictures on my desk and start to cry. I never thought life would be so difficult.with such a devastating means,You were always there to help and I guess I really took that for granted.I sure miss you in everything that We used to do and get acomplished. Life has sure been turned upside down and inside out. Ilove you and miss you so very much. maybe one day it will get a little better.I love you ZAK!!

Hi Zak! So...my parents just took off on their motorcycles for Oregon. They haven't rode much this summer cause they know it scares me ever since the accident. I told them to be so careful but please will you watch over them for me! I know you will!!! I love you and miss you so much!!

HEY WOOBIE! SO I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD. GOOD NEWS FIRST ~ NICK AND CHRIS HAD HUNTER THIS MORNING AT 9:44(YEAH I NOTICED THE TIME, YOU DO THAT ALOT!)(HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BORN ON TUESDAY WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN 09-04 SO THIS IS AWESOME TOO) SO HUNTER ZAKERY DAVID IS NOW WITH US, WISH YOU COULD BE HERE TO SEE HIM. IM GOING TO BE STAYING WITH THEM FOR A COUPLE WEEKS TO HELP THEM OUT. SO ON WITH THE BAD NEWS. WE LOST ONE OF OUR FRIENDS YESTERDAY. MIKE DIED. GEN IS GOING CRAZY. HER AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO CLOSE BUT TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON LIKE THIS SUCKS. THIS IS NOT THEY WAY THINGS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE. REMEMBER THE DOUBLE DATES THE FOUR OF US WENT ON? THE AZTECA ONE IS THE ONE THAT I REMEMBER THE BEST WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! I MISS YOU BABY. I HAVE TO GO FOR NOW BUT I LOVE YOU AND WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON. KISS.

Zak guess what!!! I had a dream last night that you ACTUALLY GAVE ME THE BIG COUCH!!! It was great...cause you always used to make me sleep on the small one ya turd! He he!!! Don't get me wrong I LOVE my bed...but I would give anything for that small couch again...to be there with you just hangin' out, laughing and arguing over the dumbest things...oh and of course, watching Deadliest Catch! I miss that!!! I love you! Thanks for gracing my dreams! ~Dizz

Hi Zak, Just wanted to let you know that Dawn is having a boy and she is going to name him Zakery. Baylee is so excited she going around saying Dawnie is having a Zakery.It'so cute We love and miss you very much See you again someday!

Hey Babe! I miss you so much. Everyday is a new day, we just take baby steps one day at a time. Dad's birthday party was alot of fun, but not as fun as it would have been if you were there. Our lives must go on but they will never be the same. I Love You, see you later, Mom

The phones are slow today...I miss getting your texts while I'm here at work. They always made the day go faster and you always made me laugh!!! I don't wanna continue this journey we call life without your friendship here on earth...but I know you would want me to make the best of it and that you're watching over me!!! I miss you more and more each day!!! I love you Zak! ~K-Dizz

Hi Zak! My mom told me she rode her bicycle by your cross the other day and couldn't belive all the letters and things people have left for you...and the stone your mom put down. She though it was pretty amazing! My parents have been riding their motorcycles a lot lately...I haven't gotten on the back of my dad's since your accident...which I used to love riding with him. I just can't bring myself to do it. I always tell them to text me when they get home and to be very careful. I remember how much you wanted to go riding with them...even though you rode a rocket you said you weren't too good to ride with any kind of bike...I really wish you could've gotten the chance. I love you and miss you so much! ~K-Dizz

Zak today is my birthday and if I could have one wish to come true it would be. You to be back here with all of us. I miss you so much, I can't see where time really helps. this is the first Bday that you won't be with me. I still can't believe your gone. I don't think god really knew what he was doing on this one. I never thought that one thing in life could have taken a big part of my heart and soul right out of me. and I was wrong!! I think all life is are trials and tribulation's I miss you and love you. I'll see you again someday. with love from Dad.

Hey babe, i just wanted to let you know that we received a nice card today thanking you for the gift that you have given. It sounds as though things are working fine for him. All I know is that his name is Tom and that you have made his life much better. Even though you are gone you continue to help people. I love you and miss you tons! See you later, Mom

Zak I went to the goodguys show saturday. It was ok always seem's that there is more plastic junk there every year,and you know how much we hated that. The no talent model build. the best part of the show was because Josh and Brady went. you would have gotten quite a kick out of Brady, all the questions he would ask.He really liked all the hotrods. you would really dig the hippo it is truly a one of a kind truck. I can hardly wait do get it done and drive it to the stear inn you would have been proud of the dog when we took it to the stear inn WOW!! the guys there were very impressed the cops & kids show has become the cops and euro show I can't believe I going to be 50 this saturday. I don't feel but about 22 I sure am going to miss you on saturday with out you to drink a corona and tell me come on have one with me it's your birthday or are you really to old. Ha HA I sure do miss all your razzing fun at the shop & at home life is only half with you gone thank god your Mom Josh & Lexi fill the other half of my life. I think I found some wheels for Josh for the white truck. I will have to see I printed out a picture to show him he gave me a idea of what he wanted they have them in 22's they would look sick and we can order them in white.well I better go.I Miss You and think of you every minute of everyday I love You!! and will see you again someday. Love Dad

Hey Babe! Wanna go to Red Lobster this weekend for "Senior's" 50th birthday? That's what I want to say to you. I hate it when I hear myself saying " Zak WOULD HAVE loved that". Instead I want to hear myself saying "come on you'll love this" or "Zakery Robert, enough of the F bombs". You heard that one more than once:). There will NEVER be a day that passes that I don't think of you, miss you, and love you. I love you always & forever. See you later, Mom