Somewhere over the rainbow.this where you are I'm sure that Gods promise from the top is sure different. But if there is a pot of gold at the end I would rather find you at the other end you are so much more valuable to us. We went bowling after Hockey last night they have a radar for ball speed I remember how hard you would throw your ball down the lane,So I know you would have really loved it there last night. I LOVE & MISS YOU every minute of every breath I take. I will see you again one day. Love Dad

Man oh Man have I been busy!! You wouldn't believe things, I got a new job at a place that actually makes me happy, can you believe that? At the end of the day I am actually proud of myself for what I have done that day, granted no more butt stories but I think everyone is more relieved than disappointed about that. I learned how to work this huge new machine that makes me feel that much more important...called a C-Arm, I know if you were here you would want to hear all about it. I moved into a new house, the people are crazy, the apartment is nice and big though and .... well I am crazy too so I guess I fit right in. I am growing up, right in front of my own eyes. I promised you I would make you proud of me like you always have been and don't think I forgot, I will keep making you proud everyday of my life!!! Everyone that reads the way I talk, well I guess type, to you probably thinks I am heartless for being okay. But that is just what I am OKAY. When I think about you tears fill my eyes because that is all I get is to THINK about you. But, I know you are watching me and you would rather see me smile 10 million times then see one tear fall from my eye and that is what gets me through each day.....

Hey babe! Just stoppin by to say Hi and that I'm missin' ya tons. We all went to see Journey, Heart, and Cheap Trick the other night. I saw Kristi there and gave her a big hug. You would have had a great time, we had some awesome seats too. Dad didn't appreciate Journey to much, he didn't care much for their new lead singer. It was decent though and a good time was had by most. I talked to Baker finally, sounds as if he may come back home on 6 months or so. I thinks he misses it here. I'm sure it'll be hard not having you here for him to hang out with. He hasn't been back since your accident. Well we got Lexi moved again, her second apartment now. She better stay in this one awhile cause moving that bigscreen tv up to the 3rd floor was a big fat pain. Dad and Brandon moved it and Dad said if she moves again that it is stayin there :) I miss you so much, so many little things make me think of you. I envy the families that have all their children to love and spend time with. I would give anything to have that back and some people out there just throw it away or never appreciate it. It'll never seem real to me, that you are gone, it will always seem like someday, sometime, you will just come walkin in and say "call ur mom!" I Love You babe, talk to ya later.

It is just another day without you. I was talking to James today we started talking about How all you Johnson's own your own business's and I told him how we were raised with this attitude, And that is why I told him this is how all my kids were raised and taught. And I told him about how simple it was to teach you how to weld and then how you learned that TIG welder,And how crazy difficult that thing is and how you had it almost mastered.And I told him how much I miss you and he said Me to He sure was a great guy.I love and miss you so much. one of these days I will see you again and this will be a great day for Me.Love Dad

Hey Babe! It's one of those days again, hard to deal with everything. I have this pit in my stomach, it won't go away. I can't move on, I don't want to move on, I want to go back. Seems people go on with their lives, as expected, but we can't and won't. I'm a big blubberin' baby! The worst thing in the entire world that can ever, ever, ever happen is to have your child ripped away. I think back on all the memories and I still can't believe this happened to us. WHY? I just want all of us to hang out, have a corona, eat some grub and be the happy, content little family that we were. I WANT IT BACK!! I want to wake up from this nightmare. I put on a pretty good front, to bad it's all such a facade. On the inside I'm a wreck. I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH.

Hi love!! I need you more and more everyday. I got my wisdom teeth pulled and had nobody to call for chicken noodle soup and gatorade, that's what you brought me when I had a hangover. And it breaks my heart you couldn't be there. Zak why does life have to be so hard?? Wouldn't be so hard if you were here. Well summer almost over but we have had some good sunshine must be your handsome smile. :) I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you as always. I love you so much......

Hey handsome! Another month gone by and still plenty of tears to cry! My mom's birthday was on Saturday...the 13th of course...go figure. For her, another day older, and for you, another day gone...for US, another empty day. My mom was bawling to me on over the phone Saturday night because she said she misses us kids so much and doesn't want to live in Portland. It broke my heart! Please keep a watch over her and keep her safe for me! My heart still aches for you every day Zak! I miss you in my life...like the most important piece to a puzzle! I love you! I'll be seeing you! ~Dizz

Hey Babe! Well the 13th is just around the corner again, the months just float by. We will having your 13th celebration at this newer mexican restaurant, I think you would like it. Great chips and salsa, HA HA! Your sister is on the move again, new apartment, new job, new car, WOW! She is a busy girl, I'm sure she'll be on here to tell you all about it. I had a strange flashback this morning while laying in bed. Remember when you, your brother and your dad were giving me so much crap about not knowing how to DRIVE the old camaro after dad built the motor for it? I showed you guys, pulled out of the driveway, nailed it, burned the tires and you and your brother smacked your heads together in the back seat. You two sat back there crying but scared to say anything cause you told me to do it. I felt so bad. It's funny to think back on, crazy crap that we used to do! I think about you every single minute, still trying to figure it all out. Why bad things happen to good people. I know we are not the only family that has been hit by such tragedy but that's no comfort. I Love You eternally. See ya later <3

Well I live life one day at a time.I am sure this is what I am supposed to do,It is the typical seen I don't look ahead most of the time anymore I sure miss you Zak!! I would give anything to sit and talk to you again.Life is so strange and so distant most of the time,I'm not sure how to take life. Or at least anything like I used to.I look at pictures of you 3 kids as you were young and just full of life.And I know now you are gone, it is so hard on the rest of us. I love and miss you Zak someday I will see you again.

Hey Babe, just dropin' by to say hi! It's been a few days since I been here, sorry! It looks as though summer is coming to an end, YUK! I guess all good things eventually come to an end. You know that no matter how much I try to keep my chin up there are still many days that I would just as soon stay in bed. When I dread going to the shop cause I know that your chubby, smiling face won't be there to greet me and tell me about all your new ideas for some project. I don't know where you came up with all the crazy ideas! BTW, I still need that gate across the driveway. I sure would you would hurry up and get that done for me :) Sad thing is that I know that you would have it done, all I had to do was ask and presto! Next thing I knew you would be asking me to come and check it out. That is if it was made of metal, if it was something else then you would procrastinate as long as possible. I like to refer to that as pulling an RJ! HA HA! I Love you and I miss you every minute. Talk to ya later. Mom

Zak, today is my parents' last day at work. They're moving to Portland on Monday. It's gonna be so difficult to say goodbye. Sure wish you were here to cheer me up! Please watch over them for me and keep them safe on their drive over and while they're far from home. I wanted more than anything for you to meet them before you had to leave us. I wanted them to meet the amazing person and friend that had such an impact on me. Someday... I love you and miss you so much still every day! ~Dizz

...and hey!!! Send the sunshine back!!! LOL

Hi friend! I'm so sorry I haven't written in a while...it certainly doesn't mean I've forgotten about you. Life is just so empty without you Zak. It doesn't seem fair! One of the things I miss the most is your texts you used to send me all day while we're at work. You'd also always send me pictures of the work you'd done on The Dog. You were so proud! It was amazing the talent you had in those fingers of yours! I remember you used to tease me and say you had more talent in your pinky finger than I have in my whole body. Gosh, you made me laugh! You were unlike any friend I had! I hope I leave just even half the impact you've left on the people in your life when I'm gone! You know somethin funny...my sister got married 2 weeks ago and last night I was sitting and talking with her husband and he told me he's a Democrat. Oh geez! All I could think was, Zak would be sooooo disappointed and would give this guy so much crap!!! LOL!!! I miss you Zak...your giant heart...your amazing personality and ability to make EVERYONE laugh...I miss it all! I can't wait to see you again someday! I love you! ~Dizz

Hey love!!! You sure have been bringing us some rain. I dont think my life will ever be the same without you. I miss all your jokes and you BIG heart. I love you so much and some days seem so long and sad without you. Words will never describe how much my heart aches your no longer with us. I sure need my best friend ya know. I just wanted to say hi and I love you so much. I think about you everyday. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Love Me

I Missed your text on my birthday 2 years so far I guess I will get use to you being gone, never to be seen by my human eyes I love and miss you Zak. Love Dad! maybe one day we will talk again.

Hey Babe! Well it's Dad's birthday today sure wish you were here to celebrate with us. It's never going to be the same without you. Dad made a lasagna dinner for Josh's girlfriend Liz last night as it was her birthday yesterday. It was alot of fun, she's a sweetie, you would like her. It's coming up to another 3 day weekend YIPPEE! We will go hang out at the lake and Brenette and Ed are going to come out too. It should be a good time. Hopefully the weather will be nice. I Love you and miss you always! Talk to ya later.

Hey hun.... As you have seen I've been to your cross alot lately.. I miss you so much and you will always be in my heart. It's so horrible that you didnt get to live the rest of your life, you would of made some wife very happy and had kids.. It breaks my heart to thing about everything and it's just not fair. We were suppose to get married Zak.. lol...I will be with you one day...I love you so much and think about you everyday and wish you could be here. Some days are harder than others but on the hard days I just think to myself how you never liked to see me upset and it helps me get through the day. Why couldnt we all went to the Star bar that night.. That night replays over and over in my head. Its really hard for me to believe everything happens for a reason because I dont see a good reason for you being gone. How could it be so many people are hurting to see your face and wish they could see you standing there again. Listening to all your smart butt comments cause you always had one for everything. I wish I could go to Red Robin with you, drink a Corona with you..... I love you so much and you are always in my hear forever.Love you...... XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey Zak it is sure tough to show customers your artistic view and that of course is the Dog and to tell them you never got to see it drive down the road.But what makes me feel really good is when Roy says Zak is with me every time I am in the Dog. He told a customer the other day that your one of the finest young men he ever knew. made me feel so good! I don,t understand alot about life like I thought I did i think life is really sad with you gone. and I sure have my moments,When getting on with life is so different. I see things that we started a couple of years ago and just wish we could go back then when you were still here,i love and miss you so much. I wish I would have told you this and if I had one day to tell you all the things you have missed out on. and that our family misses you more than you could understand. love Dad

Hey Babe, some days are almost impossible. 30 seconds can change your entire life. I wish you could go fishin' with us and argue with your sister about who can catch the biggest fish. I miss it all soooooo much. I Love You Babe, Talk to ya later!

Hey there!!! You seen my new whip yet??? Pretty sweet huh!?! I Love it, I know you do too.....I can just picture the look on your face when I drove up to your house in my first car and honked the horn, you came out and thought I was lying that it was mine!! Well I love you and miss you everyday... We are having dinner tonight for you of course!! You would really like this place that we go to...it is so you! Miss you big brother!!

Hey Babe, you know sometimes I get this instant knot in my stomach and I think you are never coming home again. I still can't believe that is true so I just won't believe it. No one really gets it, how it feels to have this giant void in your family and in your heart. We will always wonder why this all happened. Why you were taken from us at the peak of your life. It feels like we just got to that point...... you and Josh grown and on your own and Lexi just graduated and on her way, and then BAM!!! It all came tumbling down. My heart goes out to all those that have lost a child. It's an unbearable feeling. I Love You and I Miss You Tons. See Ya Later, MOM

How weird to relate a food to just ONE person! Every time I see or eat something with jalapenos on it, I only think of you! It was always jalapeno burgers...pepperoni and jalapeno pizza...ANYTHING with jalapenos! Who knew that jalapenos could make me smile so much! I love you Zak and miss you so much!!!

I miss you oh so very much Zak. I have been driving the Hippo off and on for a few weeks now. I Wish you were Here to drive Him it is the coolest thing i have ever built, and way cooler to drive,I sure miss you and My mind set is so much different anymore with you gone, I have a certain little tinge and so many times when I just don't care about things around me. And I have to tell myself that you would not want me to be that way and not care. The goodguys thing is this weekend and I am not sure if I am going.Your Mom wants to go to our new lake place and I am thinking she's right. I have to go, talk to you soon Love Dad.

I sure miss you and all the plans we had together. I sometimes think God must have had something against me to have taken you from Me,Life just sucks and nothing I can do about. Except bend over and take it like always. I am so sorry your gone and I'm just venting I love and miss you Zak,and thats every minute of everyday. Love Dad

Dude! Today was the second annual car show in your name! You would have been impressed. Sitting back and watching all the people that check out the DOG and hearing the comments that they have is incredible. I am honored to be able to tell people that my buddy built that from the ground up. It turned out amazing and wish that you were here to hear the gossip about the truck you built...it will always be one of a kind! The truck your dad is building that he dubbed THE HIPPO has turned into quite the head turner as well! Lookin back man i cant believe that it has been over a year. I have a hard time believing it sometimes actually. When I go into the shop I always think about the old days ridin the quads and peds in the old shop...those were the good ol days uh! I look forward to raising my zakery, he is already so big. Coming up on eight months the little shit will be walkin soon already, the time goes way too fast and you never know whats in store for tomorrow. I just hope that my son turns out to be as great of a person as the Zakery he was named after. Im super stoked to say that i have been given the opportunity to build or should I say help build the 62. I have so many ideas for it and I want to make you proud with what I have in mind...I'll keep you posted. All in all man, things are going ok. I never had too many friends and when you lose one it hurts, I miss you brother and will never forget the times we had!

Well today is your car show hopefully we will have a good turn out. we sold the old lake house and are now white trailer trash and proud of it. I can't believe that you have been gone for over a year it still feels like an eternity. I would love for you to be here face to face so we could talk.I Miss you oh sooo much.life sure should have turned out different.I love and Miss you Zak love Dad.

Hey Babe! Tomorrow is your car show, we will have a good one for you. You would be so proud :) I will take lots of pictures for all to see. I LOVE YOU! I just wanna squeeeeeeze your hand and tell you that I love you! See Ya Later, Mom

Hey babe, I miss you soooo much! I sure wish you would just come back home now. Your smile would light up my world! :) I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER, Mom

We got a new lake house we are next door to shake.Your Mom and I talk about all the good times we had at the old lake house and we know how much you would love the new place.It is smaller but way more fun because we have a nice sand beach and a high dive and your sister has some funny little cute girls following her around like she used to do to you and Josh,I sure do miss you and wonder how you are in your new place.our car show for your memory is this saturday I know your are always with us in spirit it would sure be nice if this car show was for some other cause and you were still here.I love and Miss you every minute of everyday. Love Dad

Hey.. I think about you so much everyday and I love you and miss you to death. We talk about you all the time and need you everyday.. :) love you

Hey love!!! I really need you right now more than ever. I can't do this without you anymore. It's my birthday on Thursday and I wish you coud be here. You were so special to me and I am so lucky to have you as a best friend. I think about you everyday and you will never be forgotten. I feel that life isn't fair and why does bad things happen to good people. Good people like you. WHY?? I guess I will never understand and I ask that question every single day.. I just needed to tell you how much I miss you and love you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Love you Zak

Hey Babe! Well it looks like the lake house is finally sold, just crossing our fingers until closing in a couple weeks. It's a sad place to be, so many memories out there. I hear your laughter every time I go there. We will start new memories now a little further down the road. It won't be the same, but nothing has been the same for over a year now. We just take one day at a time, always with you in our hearts. Your car show is coming up soon. You would be so proud that all of this done for you. I sure wish you were here though and that this was just a good ole car show instead of a memorial car show. That word still gets me. When I think of memorial, I think of an elderly person that passed and an event has been dedicated to them. It's not suppose to be for my 26 year son who was taken away from me. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry, NOT! I Love You and I miss you so much. See Ya Later, Mom

Hey love!! I just wanted to let you know that I love you very much and it breaks my heart to know that your gone. I miss you more than words can describe and Im not sure how to go on without my best friend. I just needed to say that I miss you. Love you Zak XOXOXOXOXO

We did it with you always looking over my the maiden voyage of the Hippo the day before the 4th of July to drive this truck was so kool. I told Roy you would just dig driving him he is quite the truck I just wish with all my being you could be here to show off the dog well guess I better go get my hair cut your mom is hounding me I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday Zak!! love Dad

Hey Babe! Well summer is off and running, life continues to go on around us, and the holidays come and go. The 4th was pretty quiet around here, just Josh, Lexi, their significant others, and a few others. It's hard to believe that another 4th of July has gone by without you here. But then it's hard to believe that everyday goes by without you here. I am reading this book called The Lovely Bones. Lexi had been bugging me to read it for a long time, it really makes you think about what happens to someone you love after they die. I talk to you all the time, not just here on this board, but everywhere, all the time. I wonder if you hear me and if you see me when I cry. I miss you so much everyday. I Love You, Mom.

Good afternoon love!!! Hope you had an amazing 4th wish you were here to celebrate with me. Zak you will never know just how really hard this is.. It's just not fair I use to believe in everything happens for a reason but I don't anymore. You weren't supposed to be taken from us. We are very lucky to have you watching over us and making sure we are all ok... I love you so much and miss you

Hey Babe, just wanted to say Hi! Did you ever feel like you were living someone else's life? Well, I feel that way. This isn't the way my life was going to be. I was going to grow old with my husband and my 3 wonderful children. Then on June 13th, 2007, that all changed. It still feels like a dream, I will wake up and it will all be back like it was. Never without trials and errors, but "WHAT IS PERFECT", it's all in your perception. My little perfect included all of us, no matter what was happening, we were a family. We will be having a little BBQ for the 4th, nothing big. That would annoy you, the bigger, the better, in your opinion. Get the whole damn family, that was your motto. I Love You and miss you so much!!!!!

Hey handsome!!! Well I can't believe it's already July but it seems so long since we had you here. Feels like a million years. I will be watching some fire works for you on Saturday... I wanted to say Happy 4th of July since I will be out of town for a few days. I am always thinking about you and I love you more than you know. Miss you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :)

Hey love!!!Thank you so much for all the amazing sunshine but I wish you were here... I just wanted to say hello sunshine and let you know I was thinking about you. Love you XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hey Zak just stopped by to say I Love You!! But you already new that because I tell you that I love you and miss you all the time one day I can ask God why he took you so soon from us here on earth and maybe understand why. I Love and Miss you every second of everyday I will see you again someday.Love Dad

Hey love!!! My heart aches for you today. I miss you and love you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I think of you often and make no outward show, But what it means to lose you, no one will ever know You wished no one farewell, not even said good-bye, You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. You are not forgotten nor will you ever be, As long as life and memories last, I will remember thee. To some you may be forgotten, to others a part of the past, But to me who loved you dearly, your memories will always last. Nothing can be more beautiful than the memories I have of you. To me, you were someone special, God must have thought so too! If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane, I would walk all the way to Heaven, and bring you back again.

Hey mister!!!! I drove by your house today. You have no idea how bad I wanted to stop and walk in that door and you would be there and I could picture your bike sitting in the same spot in the kitchen. I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you.. Love you XOXOXOXO

Hey love!!! Wow was June 13th a hard for me and everyone that loved you so much. I will never know how to go on without you.. How do you just accept that your best friend is gone forever. Your mom told me told me that you cared about me so much. Darn it Zak we were gonna get married!!! I remember always joking with you about it and your face always getting bright red. Why couldnt we just all went to the Star bar like it was planned. Why?? It was so hard to see your mom in tears on your 1 year day.. There were so many people there that love you and will never stop. I have just been trying to avoid you being gone and it really hit me the week before June 13th. I was a mess and can never just accept it. Did you like all the green and orange ballons?? Did you see Lexi dancing for all of us?? You never deserved any of this, there is nobody else in this world like you Zak.. Nobody will ever take you place. I love you so much and need you on so many days. I know you were really sad before you left and I wish I could of took the pain away for you. I tried to be there for ya everyday like when you would sleep on the big couch and me on the little so you didnt have to stay alone. That was not to long before all this happened. I miss you so much and my heard aches for you. I could go for a Zak text message right now or you coming to visit me at work and playing with all the phones sending people random text messages which you thought was so funny. Everybody remembers you from work and they say he always brought you lunch... You always did things for me when I was upset or sick you just always wanted to help. And never liked to see me upset, it almost hurt you to see me upset. You are such an amazing person and Im so sorry you didnt get to live the rest of your life with all of us. So many of us just need you right now.... I dont know how anybody has this gets easier because they are full of crap.. It will never get easier just gets harder the more time goes by. I remebered June 13th last year such a sad day we went to yout house that night and I laid on the little couch with your blanket when so full of dog hair and my allergies were going crazy and I couldnt breathe but I didnt care. Baker was there to take care of me. I worry about him but I know your watching over him. Last time I talked to him he was pretty upset. Make sure to watch over Dustin too I worry about him too.. I love you ZAK so much.. XOXOXOXOXO KRIS

Sorry I missed your half birthday! I Love You Tons and Tons, Mom

I was Just stopping by to say I LOVE and MISS You ZAK!!!!! who ever said time heals never lost a fantastic son and a part of them self's with there son! see you again on the other side love Dad.

I thought about you A LOT today!!! I miss you more than words can say! Love you! ~Dizz

Hey Babe! Sorry 'bout Friday night. Guess I was due, but ouch! BTW...it didn't make it all go away like I was trying to make it do. I LOVE YOU TONS.........

You were more loved and needed than you could even realize! you really help make the world a better place,My heart will never heal the empty spot where you used to be.I love all of my kids so much,You impacted my life by being around you, so much of the time.our trucks were a big part of what we have always been about,You loved the automotive from a very young age just like I always was.It was in my blood.and it infected you. the dog is such a beautiful sculpture that rolls down the road what you did for Roy he is in love with that truck so much. I wish you could be here like I had always told you the feeling you would have gotten over your creation would have given you a bigger rush than that stupid bike would have ever done. I LOVE and MISS you every minute of everyday. Love Dad

June 13, 2008 7am - Mornin Zaky. So I can't believe it has been a year since you left us. I still miss you everyday. It is going to be hard for me to finally open up and really share my heart on the site (Not that I will say anything on here that I haven't already told you and God many times, I guess it's more for my own healing and grieving process than anything), but if I'm gonna put it out there, it's gonna be today. As you know, Randy's sister had her baby this morning (Emalie Rose) and I'm not sure how I am "supposed" to feel about it. It's hard to explain the feelings going thru me right now. I am trying to be excited for them yet at the same time I am upset that you will be sharing this day with someone else in my life. I know that is really selfish of me, and I'm sorry but this is your day and I don't want anything to take away from that. I guess I still have some growing to do in this process. And I know what's even more selfish is that if it was someone in our family being born today I would feel different about it and I would be so excited. Our family is different tho, we are very close and we love to share special days with one another. You know that I go by your cross at least 4 times everyday and when I start to cry I feel God speak to my spirit and remind me that He loves you so much that he would not make you suffer, and that it's not about Him punishing us at all, but about Him loving you and all of us so much that He gave you the choice to end your pain and suffering even tho it meant you had to leave us for a little while (I know you haven't left us and that you are watching over us, but you know what I mean). It hurts to live in this world without you, but it would be so painful for all of us to have to watch you suffer the physical and emotional pain that the damage to your body would have caused you. When it first happened I was so mad at God for taking you from us, that I kept asking Him for an explanation. "Hasn't our family suffered enuf?" I would ask Him, and then I had that dream where you survived and it was absolutely unbearable for all of us to watch you go thru such horrific pain and complications from the accident and the surgeries, and I remember the way I felt in the dream and I was so angry at God that He would let you live in that condition. In the dream I was screaming at Him "Why would You let him suffer like this God? WHY? He doesn't deserve this!" When I woke up I just cried and chatted with Aunt Lor about it. It has taken a year for me to be able to share it with anyone else. It also took me a year to get to the point where I could see that your choice to leave us was a selfless act. You are such a strong person that you would have endured any amount of suffering that could have been bestowed upon you, yet, your heart is SOOOOO BIG and you love us so much that you wouldn't put us through the pain of watching someone we love so much go through such pain. And not only that, but the lives you saved with your organs and the blessings you brought those people's families by giving their loved ones life. It was the ultimate sacrifice Zak! You sacrificed your own life to save others and spare your family from helplessness and heartbreak. You know I think about the months preceding Grandpa Les' death and the pain and suffering he endured and that overwhelming feeling of helplessness watching him go through months of that hell. And I remember going to into the chapel at Holy Family before they moved him to the nursing home and crying out to God, "Why are You letting him suffer God? Can't You lift this pain off of my Papa? Please God, do something, I can't watch him suffer like this anymore." That feeling of wishing you could take his place, the pain of watching someone you love so much suffer is far worse than being the one who is struggling to live. And tho I tell you all the time that I understand your choice and I still love you, today, I am ready to THANK YOU. THANK YOU for the lives YOU saved, THANK YOU for always putting others before yourself, and MOST OF ALL ZAKY, THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY LIFE AND BEING SUCH A BLESSING TO EVERYONE WHO KNOWS YOU NOT ONLY IN LIFE, BUT ALSO IN DEATH. I love you so much and I will forever admire, love and respect you for everything you've done, every life you have touched, and EVERYTHING YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. And tonight we will celebrate just that!! ZAKERY ROBERT JOHNSON - IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER!!!! Love You Cuz ~~~~~ Nelly - June 13, 2008 1:06pm

I sit here today just waiting for the big Luau tonight at your parents house for you, Zak, and i see your picture taken at the last big BBQ at your parents house. You were wearing that green shirt from AE that says "an awkward morning beats a boring night" and i remember giving you such a hard time about it. I asked if you had ever had an awkward morning and of course you said no and i said well you need too :) we both laughed and knew that it wouldn't happen, you were better than that. I love that shirt and you wearing it made it even better, especially to your little sister's graduation party. I can't beleive that one whole year has passed since we have seen you. I so wish that night would have turned out the way YOU wanted it - we would of all just went to the Star bar and made fools of ourselves, i wouldn't have said that we couldn't go, Lori & Troy would've went and you would of just told Kristina to meet us there since we would of already been headed there....dang it Zak I want a do over! Your mom and i were texting pretty early this morning and she was already at the store picking up stuff for tonight and I know that all she really wants is just to get a text from you wanting to know what you could do to help her not if I needed anything :( I know that your parents are struggling today to put on happy faces and a good time at their house so please just look over them and everyone tonight as we all celebrate what an awesome person we lost WAY too soon. I love you! PS - Thank you for the sunshine today :)

Wow, 1 year without you...I don't wanna go another. This has been the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with, so I can only imagine the pain your family must feel...losing a son and a brother...a piece of themselves. It's going to be so nice to see them and hug them today! Just in the short time we became so close as friends, you made such a huge impact on my life Zak! You have such a huge heart and I feel so lucky just to have been loved by you as a friend and still to this day, have you watching over me. Come join us tonight. I'll have a Corona...or 2, just for you! Love you! ~Dizz

this has been the longest and the shortest year of my life. I miss you in so many of the things your Mom and I do We have had a tough time of it the shop will never be anything like the way it was when we first moved in to the new shop it was like a new start to our lives and now it is a tough day by day struggle to keep up I depended on you so much and you never let me down now everything I do seems to have a let down because most people do not understand what we were going to do and were we were going to take our new found venture.and life at home is so much of a odd feeling you used to come over at least 3 nights a week with the dogs and we would eat some dinner and take the dogs for a walk up to the park and the hikes and outings we all would go on was just plain FUN!! I think if there was ever a time where God made a mistake it was taking YOU from US!! I never have to worry about getting dust in my eyes because the tears keep them clean. I LOVE and MISS You oh so very much ZAK! LIFE IS TOUGH WITHOUT YOU!!!! Love Dad

Will you please help me through the day tomorrow, like you always did. Helping me prepare and doing last minute things for me. I was in the yard today scooping poop and thinking that you should be here doing this, NO REALLY! you should have been doing it cause I was gagging the entire time. I try and make light of it but so many things remind me of you, yes even scoopin poop! One of your favorite things to do was have a big group of family and friends over for a BBQ, volley ball and a few beers. Well, tomorrow we will do it up good in Zak style. I know you will be here in spirit and will be watching over us but I would give anything to actually have you here. The "DOG" will be making its debut with all its new paint, striping, and taneau. Roy is sure proud of that truck you built for him. My heart hurts so bad tonight. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. See Ya later, Mom

We're letting go of balloons at your cross tomorrow! If I put a kiss in one of mine will you catch it and drop one back to me?! He he! Love you Zak! Muah! ~Dizz

WHY? that says it all...............I LOVE YOU and miss you!

Oh and one more thing! When I got the invitation in the mail from your mom for the celebration we're having for you...she had put "DIZZ" on the envelope. It put the biggest smile on my face!!!

A year ago on this day we were all piled in a hospital waiting room praying for you to come back to us...or rather, sitting next to your bed holding your hand. I just remember looking at you and thinking, "Please please please wake up Zak!" But something in my heart told me that you weren't really lying in that bed anymore...you weren't in pain any longer...like you were already looking down on us telling us not to cry...and that you were in a better place. I could feel it! I'd never felt such a powerful feeling come over me! I just remember the pain was unbearable...being able to physically touch someone you love, but that wasn't really THERE. You're still in that same great place watching over us...the only difference now is that we can't physically see you. But don't think for one second that means I don't remember exactly what you look like with that big beautiful smile and the exact sound of your voice! I would give anything just to see you and hear your voice again! Not a day goes by that I don't still think about you and miss you with all my heart! I love you Zak! Can't wait to see you again! ~Dizz

Well it has been 1 year since I've heard you laugh, seen you smile, felt your huge hugs. I keep replaying the day in my head, from beginning to end. You arrived at the house to see if I needed help with anything, began tidying up the yard for Lexi's party and sent your usual dozen or so text messages to make sure everyone was still coming. The day seemed to go so well, the rain stayed away, and so many people came. You spent the day visiting with everyone which of course includes a lot of teasing and the normal Zakisms. It really was the most tragic ending to a wonderful day. I can't believe how your life can change in the blink of an eye. I was so busy picking up all the food and stuff, I looked out the slider and saw that your bike was gone. I had a little twinge in my stomach and the next thing I knew Kristina was calling me to tell me you had an accident and to come quick. The visions are still so clear in my head, from that moment all the way 'til the words ORGAN DONOR were spoken to me. I remember being with you when you got your ID card, they asked if you would like to be an organ donor. You looked at me for direction, all I said was "I am, but it's up to you". Then of course you told them yes. I never EVER expected that to be used. There are people out there that are so lucky to have a part of you in them. In my opinion "God must have spent a little more time on you". You had the most amazing heart and I miss you so much. I LOVE YOU ZAK!

Hey love!!!! I've been thinking alot about you lately, will I do everyday but the closer it gets to one year the worse I get. I can't believe we've went a year without you, it seems like a life time and I keep asking myself WHY?? Why did this happen to you? A person that didnt deserve anything like this. That night keeps replaying in my head, me getting to your parents house and I was upset you gave me a hug and told me not to be upset, you were always so concerned about me. You made me a plate of food well I should say a plate of meat. I was sitting on your parents couch and Brady in his wheel car next to me we were playing the Wii. You and Christina came to the slider door to tell me you were leaving. I was kinda mad at you for leaving me there. Me getting a Text message from you saying going 125 down Upriver was awesome. We all had made plans to go to the Star for our routine Sunday night Karokee night at the Star. I remember my phone ringing about 5 times in a row and getting up and hearing my sisters voice telling me that you had an accident. I didnt want to leave your side, I just wanted to hold your hand forever. Sitting there just wishing you would open your eyes. I know you are still with me I just wish I could see you, I know you are watching over me please never stop because I still need you best friend. I wish I got to spend more time with you. You will always be in my heart Zak. Always and forver and I love you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Love you ZAK

Hi love!!! Words can never describe how much I miss you. Its gets harder and harder that each day goes by. I can't believe its almost been a year. It still seems very hard to manage without you. You were the most amazing person I have ever meant. XOXOXOXOXO I LOVE YOU ZAK

Hey Babe! I sure could use your contagious smile, one of Dad's famous margarita's, and a few dozen Zakisms right now. It's a crappy day outside and it's a crappy day inside. Could we just hang out and b/s for a while? I miss those time unbelievably. I Love You, Zak. Where did it all go wrong?

I miss you! Tonight, I drove down crestline right by your house and thought to myself...I wish I could hang out with my brother!!! Writing a message like this brings tears to my eyes! You were my best friend... and I miss having someone I could count on all the time. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!

I don't need a day to remember you I have the rest of my life and a lot of memories I was telling your Mom yesterday I was cutting down this little tree in the yard.And remembering You and My Dad your Grandpa Les and told Your Mom, He taught us a lot He may have gotten grumpy a few times but for us it was a learning process, I Love and Miss You ZAK! And I will see you again someday. Love Dad P/S I know You and Grandpa Les are having a great time together.and your Grandpa Earl is going fishing with you.

I woke up this Memorial Day thinking of our loved ones who have gone on before us. In my time of prayer, I believe God gave me a verse and a message for you from Zak. For God so Loved the World that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. John 3:16 Zak accepted Jesus into his heart as a young boy. He is in heaven and very happy. Although life here is hard without him, there is a hope and a promise for each and everyone of you. Life here on earth is but a blink of an eye compared to eternity. If Zak could shed a tear for you he would but there are no tears in Heaven, only Joy. His hearts cry is for you to MAKE SURE you know and accept Jesus in your heart, just as he did, so that your future together is set. He desires that you live out the rest of your days in peace and happiness knowing he is in a better place and that one day you will no longer be separated, but will have forever to be together. "Please, PLEASE!!! Do not be angry with God anymore. Trust Him, Turn to Him. Turn to Him! It is our only hope of ever being together again." Zak

Memorial Day.........I will always remember you, my beautiful son. I Love you and miss you infinitely.

I find myself thinking about you at least 50 times a day, then sometimes it just hits me. You really won't be coming home. My feelings are always the same, how did this happen? How can life change in an instant? Can I have a do over? What would I do different? I don't know that, but I do know that I would give my life for any of my children. 1 year is fast approaching, I have aged plenty in the last year. I think of things so different. The petty things that people worry about, the things that people get angry over, and feel sorry for themselves, all those things are really put in perspective now. I want to say "WAKE UP WORLD", be thankful for what you have and don't take it for granted, you never know when it can end. I love you and miss you babe! See Ya later, Mom

Would it be possible for you to hold my hand as I drift off to sleep tonight? But this time, if I squeeze could you please squeeze back!

Friendship can last forever...even when it doesn't.

Zak, I find myself needing your friendship more than ever these days. For you to kiss me on the forehead and tell me everything is gonna be ok...like you used to do. I just can't seem to do anything right lately. I feel lost and out of place! I keep screwing up it seems. I need your advice. You used to always tell me what I needed to hear, whether it was going to hurt me or not. That's what a best friend does! Like when I'd hang up the phone on you...you were always the one to call back...and you know what you'd say? "What are we, in grade school Kay?!" Still makes me laugh to this day...you are so right! And we could be in the biggest argument...but by the end of the day you'd be texting me like crazy with the most loving words until I just couldn't ignore you anymore. LOL! I've yet to find a friend that gives me as much care and comfort that you did Zak. Not a day went by that you didn't let me know how much you loved me. Thank you for loving me Zak! You can never be replaced! It's been almost a year now that you've been gone and there's still an empty space in my heart. It will always be there for you...until I get to see you again someday. I think of your family everyday, and my prayers go out to them! I know you're watching over us all! I love you and miss you with all my heart! I'll be seeing you Zak!

I'm not sure what else there is to say.I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday,Your Mom and I moved the green house to the other side of the yard, And I told your Mom Zak would have Loved doing this we both knew it. You would have been all game for the things we are doing in the big yard. I love you ZAK!!! from your Dad

11 Months. I Love You and I Miss You Soooo Much, MOM

My mothers day began with me waking up and staring at your ashes sitting on my dresser. Mothers Day??? This isn't how it's suppose to be. I remember last mothers day. It was a sad day for you, the day that Amanda moved out. I felt so bad for you, just wanted to make you feel better and see you smile that huge smile of yours. Now I only have those memories and still, almost one year later, I wonder WHY? Why does god hate me, what am I being punished for? How can he give you these beautiful miracles, called children, and them rip them away from you? He lets you carry them for nine months, love and protect them, just to tear your heart in two by taking them away. How can mothers day, or any other day, ever be the same? I Love You and Miss You so much. See Ya later, Mom

You should see Doggie Style is it's new name what a beautiful truck you built Roy is past words and I can't say as I blame Him. the picture on the tailgate and the pin stripes are so Kool You should be here to hear the praise it is getting and going to get,I miss you ZAK and Love You!! life will never be the same and will always be odd and strange

Its your big smile that has given us that nice sunshine.

You didn't have a chance, to say goodbye, to live your life, or give me one last glance. It wasn't fair, that you were chosen, to have that horrible accident. but I want you to know that we really did care. We did everything we could. We cried and celebrated, and died and lived. If I could save you, I would. Come back. I want you here. With me here. We love you.

Hey handsome. How is everything up there threating you?? The more days that go by its harder without you. I think about you everyday and love you more than you know. It was Stacy's baby shower on Saturday. Your Mom, Lexi and Rhonda came. I miss your family and know they are hurting so much. Its really heart braking for me to see your Mom, I just to hug her and never let go. Some days I even go to call you. I know you are watching over all of us that love you so much and I just cant believe its almost been a year. I hate that day June 13th. :( Life just isnt fair Zak and I dont think it will ever be. Its really hard going on without you.. Some days its just easier to try and forget but no matter what you will always be in my heart, its just some days its to much to bear. How do you just go on with life when you lose someone that is so close to you?? You were the one that kept me together and you were the greatest friend I could ever ask for. This just isnt fair. Please watch over Baker, last time I talked to him he wasnt doing so good and his phone is disconnected.. I love you

Why you had to leave,I sure don't understand you came into our lives a little boy, and left us as a man.And though we watched you grow. and that you would, have to leave so soon! never to see you again. Theres still so much to tell you and oh so much to do, I can't help but to miss you,In all the things I do. Our shop feels so quiet without you there.I love and miss you Zak my life has changed forever!!!

Hey Big Brother! Sorry it has taken me so long to write to you! In all actuality it is probably because I don’t know how to type you a message…I like to talk to you ya know. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I should just sit here and cry but then this voice that I haven’t heard in so long tells me not to be a puppy and that for every second I am sad I could have a smile on my face. I love that voice and I miss it! So today I am writing my first check for rent… How weird is that? My own place. I wish you could come over and hang out with me ,we could make lil smokies and play the Wii. Well I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and I always am. Keep pushing me through each day okay?

Hey Babe, I was just wondering if you miss us as much as we miss you? In my heart I know that's not possible but I like to believe it anyway. I always wonder if people look at us differently now or if we appear to be different. I often feel like the rest of the world should have changed as we have. Lexi found your first cross last night, the one that Dustin made and someone stole. She was going home and something caught her eye, it looked like a cross so she turned around and went back to check. Sure enough that's what it was. It was stuck in with a bunch of stuff that had been cleaned up near the river. Weird huh? I thought we would never see it again, see what I get for thinking! Dad and I had our 29th anniversary on Sunday, our first without you. We had a pretty uneventful day, just relaxed and hung out at home together. He did take me to dinner on Saturday night though, and it was great. I am off to bed now, I Love You and Miss you tons. See Ya Later, Mom

It's my birthday today Zak, and there's nobody I would love more to celebrate it with than you! If you could only be brought back to be with us on this earth, that would MORE than make up for every single bithday for the rest of my days! My grandma just informed us that my uncle has prostate cancer, which is what my grandpa died of. She said he's going in for surgery on JUNE 13th...and I said NO, please not that day...the day you were taken from us! Please keep an extra special watch over him in this difficult time. I love you Zak and miss you with each passing day!

Well another one of our family first without you here to help celebrate with us Your parents anniversary. You were here for our 28th year and gone way to soon!! I miss you very much Zak life is sure unfair I LOVE YOU and will see you again someday Love Dad.

Often I wonder what this year would've been like if you were still here with us. All these tears that have been shed could've been replaced by laughter...cause you always knew how to put a smile on our faces. I love you Zak and miss you so much still every day! I'll be seein you!

It is said that only the good die young,so why are you not still alive because you were the best. Bud & Shake painted the dog this sunday and the sculpture you made has now come alive what a beautiful job you did building the one truck that all other people would have throwing in the scrape bin Roy is in his own words beside himself.You are a artist. I love and miss you Zak!! Every second of everyday for the rest of my life. love Dad

Hey mom do you know they have baseball in heaven I pitched for the "Angels" on my first day Moses was a bit annoyed, I got caught "stealing" He said they don't do that here . . . Hey mom did you know they ski in heaven We ride atop the tallest clouds Holding our wings in very close We make a swooshing sound You call it "wind" down there . . . Hey mom do you know they have cable TV here I get to watch all the neat stuff I could ever want They even have the car channel's That me and dad always enjoyed so much . . . There's pizza to eat all through the day Man . . . the girls are all awesome and cute I wear the coolest Air Jordan's And I never miss a basket when I shoot About the girls . . . the no kissing on the first date thing sorta bothers me . . Hey mom do you know they have dogs in heaven I got one today his name is Jake He follows me everywhere I go And likes to lick my face So mom I guess what I am trying to say Is that things really aren't so bad I miss you and the family a lot at times I miss the guy stuff I did with dad. . . I do have some good news though . . . At night when you fall asleep, God said I can talk to you in your dreams So those times I show up and we laugh and play They are as real as they actually seem Promise you'll talk back to me okay ( I can hear you when you pray) . . . Hey mom do you know they have baseball in heaven Oh that's right I said that before I hit a homer just a while ago Abraham and Gabriel came in for a score . . . A camera man came close to get my picture Just like they do for the pro's on TV I had the biggest smile you've ever seen I put my face close to the lens It was huge and filled the screen Do you know what I said? Of course you do . . . I looked in it and said . . . " Hi mom!"

Hey Babe! Wow, what a busy few weeks we've had. First moving Lexi, then Brady in the hospital, it's been very overwhelming. Being in that hospital was especially hard, but you do what you have to do and Brady needed us there. He is doing much better now but sure missed seeing his Uncle Zak at the hospital. Oh how much life changes in a year, never would have dreamt in a million years that this is what our destiny was. I've been thinking a lot about all of the silly things that you used to say and do. I get a giggle out of them and it's followed by a tear. You would text me "foot be a puppy, Mom". I miss you so much, Jewi and I were talking about all the great T9 text messages we used to get from you. Missy got text messaging while she was here this week, wish you were here to initiate her into the texting cult. She's a texting virgin, HA! HA! that's a good one, if I do say so myself. See Ya Later, I Love You, Mom.

I have prayed and wished you could come back home. To live life with all of us again and have some fun and enjoy life as it used to be I know this will never be again, Shake & Bud are going to paint the dog this sunday I love and Miss You Zak life will always be upside down for Me. It can't be anything but going the wrong way on a one way highway! Love Dad

I love and miss you ZAK.every second every minute and everything, that life puts us threw, it sure was easier to go threw it with you still here to help. you made life alot more livable and oh!so! Much Better!! see you again someday love Dad

Zak, I need you more than ever in my life right now! You were always such a rock for me..a shoulder to lean on..and the one constant in my life! Never bringing drama..only a smile to my face! I know you were that to so many people..and I can only hope that someday I will have that same impact on at least one person like you had on several. I miss you so much every day! I love you! -Dizz

Zak, I need you more than ever in my life right now! You were always such a rock for me..a shoulder to lean on..and the one constant in my life! Never bringing drama..only a smile to my face! I know you were that to so many people..and I can only hope that someday I will have that same impact on at least one person like you had on several. I miss you so much every day! I love you! -Dizz

You know Zak this has been the toughest year you are gone and your mom and I help move Lexi in to her own apartment yesterday we should have been going to the auto boat speed show this weekend that was always a fun thing for You and I wow! talk about life throwing a fast ball when your expecting a curve ball. I love and Miss you ZAK I will see you again someday. love Dad

Hey Babe! Damn it's cold, enough is enough, no more snow! It's been a long dreadful winter and I am ready for it to be over. I want to bring some fresh flowers to your cross and not have them freeze and die. I want the gray skies to disappear and sunshine to come. I want something to brighten my day, your smile would do! I know now that we do have to go on, but that is so much easier said than done. People preach the "everything happens for a reason" and " time will heal". WRONG! Those who say that have never lost a child. At times I get a grip on life but then it just slips away and tumbles down the hill. I miss you everyday, just more some days than others. There are days that seem to be unbearable, I see you in everything I do and everywhere I go. The house is getting so empty, sometimes it doesn't feel like home anymore. No more kids under foot, it seems impossible. Wasn't it just yesterday that all 3 of you were going in different directions and my job was to keep up with you? What's my job now? I guess it's to take Josh some groceries when he isn't feeling well, to give Lexi advise in her new adventure and to survive day by day. We will be unpacking some of your belongings this weekend for Lexi to use now. WOW! That's gonna be another tough one. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I know you would want her to have that stuff so I guess that part is a good thing. I Love You and miss you! See Ya Later, MOM

Hey hun... Hope you had a wonderful Easter, I thought alot about you and wish you were here. I rememeber those days in the hospital and sitting next to your bed and holding your hand, and the whole thing I was wishing when you heard my voice you would wake up. One thing I remember is Stacy telling me when we were at the hospital that your brother told her that he didnt think it was a good idea I went into the room to see you cause it would be hard for yu cause you care about me so much. That meant the world to me. Its so hard losing someone so close to you especially your amazing best friend. I will never know how to go on without you. You were my rock that kept me together at my hard times and now I'm not sure who to call. I just feel like I didnt get to spend alot of time with you and wish there could be more time. I think about you everyday and how big your smile was and it kills me inside every time I look at one of your pictures. You are an amazing person and I think about you everyday. I love you so much Zak.. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

HAPPY EASTER BABE....I HOPE YOU HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY WITH JESUS TODAY. I MISS YOU TERRIBLY...I LOVE YOU.KISS. *Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin, I feel you come back again, And its like you havent been gone a moment from my side, Like the tears were never cried, Like the hands of time are holding you and me, And with all my heart Im sure were closer than we ever were, I dont have to hear or see, Ive got all the proof I need, There are more than angels watching over me, I believe, I believe. That when you die your life goes on, It doesnt end here when youre gone, Every soul is filled with light, It never ends and if Im right, Our love can even reach across eternity, I believe, I believe. Forever, youre a part of me, Forever, in the heart of me, And Ill hold you even longer if I can, The people who dont see the most, Say that I believe in ghosts, And if that makes me crazy, then I am, cause I believe. There are more than angels watching over me I believe, I believe.

Happy easter ZAK well another minute,hour,day,week,month, all is just another, to never see you on this earth is sometimes all I can do to keep from tearing up constantly, Everywhere your Mom and I go everything we see everything we do I can tell that you were so much a part of our lives so much that it just drains me, It hurts soooo bad to be without you to complete our family for 26 years we were always, A family first and thats what mattered now we are a broken non repairable family and we are trying to mend a little. well you get to spend easter with the one who this holiday is all about,Our sweet savior Jesus. I love and miss you ZAK,see you again someday in Heaven.love Dad

HAPPY ST PATTY'S DAY BABE!!! IM GOING TO HAVE SOME GREEN BEER TONIGHT...ILL HAVE ONE FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU BABE! MUAH!

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. I Love You, MOM

I know that I have cried more in the last nine months, then I have the whole rest of my life. I miss and love you ZAK life is so strange and unsettling without you here with us.all I can do, everywhere around us I remember every little thing that has to do with you from birth to nine months ago all I can say is I hope and pray to have you back here where you should be and all I can think of and ask god is what we have done that is so bad that we will be punished the rest of our lives because he took such a big center out of our lives here on earth why are people mint to suffer so? Love Dad

Hey Babe, I'm not sleeping well, I can't stop thinking about you, from the time you came home from the hospital til the time you went back to the hospital. Every minute, every event, everything. I Love you and I miss you soooo much. Love, Mom

HEY BABE... WELL NINE MONTHS...FEELS LIKE NINE YEARS. I HAVE BEEN SEEING ALOT OF ROCKETS OUT NOW THAT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN NICE. I PICTURE YOU EVERYTIME...I THINK EVERYONE DOES, IT'S HARD TO SEE A ROCKET AND NOT THINK OF YOU. I MISS OUR RIDES...I KNOW THAT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN BEGGING ME TO GO ON ONE EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT THAT WARM OUT BUT THERE IS NO SNOW SO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO RIDE. I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HAVE CHANGED AND HOW MY LIFE HAD CHANGED WITHOUT YOU IN IT. I JUST MISS YOU...I HAD A HEART TO HEART WITH ONE OF JOSH'S FRIENDS ABOUT YOU THE OTHER DAY BUT WORDS SOMEHOW DONT MAKE IT BETTER. JOSH AND I ARE GOING OUT THIS WEEKEND FOR ST PATTY'S...COME HAVE A DRINK WITH US K...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HONEY. I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU AND HEAR YOUR LAUGH AND I CANT WAIT TIL THAT DAY...IM FOREVER YOURS...KISS.

Hey Babe! Well here it is another month, life sure has changed in 9 months. So many times I think of you laying in that hospital, how could something like that happen to you? You were such a big strong man. Even lying there, it was so unbelievable, it seemed as though as long as you were lying there, you were still with us. I can't tell you how many times I have thought that about how scared you must have been. I left you there, lying in that bed, with all those strangers and all those machines. I try to convince myself it was the best thing to do. But really, I selfishly just wish you were there, where I could see you and touch you. I know you are at peace now, but I'm not. I never knew anything could be so painful, nothing makes it go away. I am always going to be different than I was prior to June 10th, 2007. My heart will always have a void that can't be filled. Part of me left that day with your soul, I hope it brings comfort to you, my son. I Love You eternally, Mom

Wow, 9 months since God took you home with Him...the same amount of time it took your mom to create the beautiful person that you are! I must say, she did a great job! I came to visit your cross last night. Not only is that beautiful cross your dad built a symbol of your life here on earth...but now, going to look at it, it certainly represents just how many lives you've touched! All the flowers and letters your friends and family have left! We're all so lucky to have you as our guardian angel looking down on us. I love you Zak! ~Dizz

Well another month with out you and your fun lovin adventure. you were the one person who could talk your Mom into buying the craziest things just like the water trampoline and it was fun when we towed it out to the middle of the lake and everybody played on and off of it. This was the kind of fun lovin things we did and all the fun we always had at the shop,Nick stopped by the shop a few days ago, He got to see first hand how much different it is around there without you. And I will say that you were such a big brite ball of fire like the sun,When ever you walked into a room it would brighten up instantly.I Love and Miss you every minute of everyday. You were a great Son and a Great Person. I Love you ZAK. You will be in our hearts for ever Love Dad

I remember...sitting next to your bed in the hospital, holding your hand, grasping it so tight, as you were grasping for your life! You looked as if you were only sleeping. Now I wish I could be the one to wake up...and have this all just be a horrible dream we had! I remember the nurses coming to tell us we should go in and start saying our last goodbye's to you...but I refused to say goodbye...instead I promised that I would see you again someday...and I will keep that promise because you kept every promise you made to me as my friend! I love you and can't wait til the day I can squeeze your hand again..and this time I'll be able to feel you squeeze mine back! Miss you with all my heart! ~Dizz

If the weather has been any indication of how you've been doing...then I'm glad you're doing well up there! I sure wish the sun could shine on the way I feel inside...empty and lost, without you here on this earth. The one thing that keeps me sane, is knowing that the pain that takes a chunk of all our hearts will someday be relieved when we get to be in your presence again! They say time heals all pain...well if that's the case, then I sure wish time would move faster! I'll be seeing you Zak! I miss you and love you with all my heart! ~Dizz

You never said "I'm leaving", You never said goodbye. You were gone before I knew it, And only God knew why. A million times I needed you, A million times I cried. If Love alone could have saved you, You never would have died. In Life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place, That no one could ever fill. It broke my heart to lose you, But you didn't go alone. For part of me went with you, The day God took you home. I Love and miss you so much Zak, I NEED SERENITY. Love, Mom

Hey you! Sorry I haven't written in a while...certainly doesn't mean I haven't still been thinking about you EVERY day...cause I do! I have your poster framed on my wall next to my bed and you're the last person I look at and say goodnight to every night before I go to sleep! It's nice to see your face...but it's just not the same knowing I can't reach out and touch you in the flesh. I'd much rather have the text you sent me every night before bed saying, sweet dreams and I love you Kay...then knowing you'd be the first one to text me good morning when I got to work. I miss you so much and love you more and more every day that you're gone! Thanks for ANOTHER sunny day! Love you! ~Dizz

Hey hun!!! I went to visit your cross on Saturday and there is so many wonderful things that everybody brings you!! Its just really hard to go there its hard to even bring myself there. I just wanted you to know that i was thinking about you alot today!! Words can never describe how much i miss you and would do anything to have you back.. You never realize how hard life is without someone that you need, someone that has made such a big impact if your life, someone that brought so much joy into your life. I still will never understand why!! WHY??? I love you and miss you so much.. Thanks for the wonderful sunshine today.. XOXOXOXOXO love u Kristi

From the day you were born I knew you'd be great,and I just could not wait.you had a shy presence around others but we all knew even your sister and brother and your mother too,you were the center of our family each day,and when you left us all I could do was pray. and ask god why someone so good could be taken away.I have missed your face and your smile,and all I could do is ask for you to come back for awhile.And god said your big heart is needed in heaven.I miss every minute of everyday without you,I stand in my empty shop and look around I see you.everything that you touched everything that you'd use my whole world is what I would choose.I would do it all over and not change a thing.Except for the way the end of you would bring.I Love you Zak,and I wish you could come back.Life isn't the same your big heart is what I lack.I will think of you always and try and smile and my tears I will hide all the while. Love You ZAK

HI HANDSOME! I HAVE BEEN HAVING A HARD DAY TODAY... I CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU AND THINKING ABOUT YOU... IT'S A HARD DAY. I JUST MISS YOU WAY TOO MUCH... I WANT TO SEE YOU AND HOLD YOU LOVE YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE AND LAUGH... I MISS YOU SO MUCH. MY HEART HURTS ALOT TODAY... I LOVE YOU HONEY BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I JUST CANT STOP TELLING YOU. XOXO CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU... KISS.

I keep going to read this that your Mom wrote to you and it brings me to tears everytime TRY TO UNDERSTAND Last night while I was trying to sleep, My son's voice I did hear I opened my eyes and looked around, But he did not appear. He said:"Mom you've got to listen, You've got to understand God didn't take me from you, mom He only took my hand. When I called out in pain that night, The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to His side. He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and pain. My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same. My search is really over now, I've found happiness within, All the answers to my empty dreams And all that might have been. I love you all and miss you so, And I'll always be nearby. My body's gone forever, But my spirit will never die! And so, you must all go on now, Live one day at a time. Just understand- God did not take me from you, He only took my hand. AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Hey hun!! Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you :) You always in my thoughts and I love you. Miss you XOXOXOXOXOXOXO love Kristi

I just have been looking at all the pictures and it makes me miss you so much.. I love you Zak

Hey hun.... God I miss you so much and some days are harder than others. Geez some days I have to think really hard and ask myself if we have to go on without you!! Trying to make sense of all of this and did this really happen?? Kaylyn and Marty were in his garage the other night and she saw his motorcycle and she asked where the piece of your bike was.. God it made me cry. We talked about you all the time. I know you didnt get to spend much time with Kaylyn but she still calls you Uncle Zak and that your watching over us. Remember the nights I would come stay at your house, you would sleep on the big couch and I would take the little one. The night afer your memorial service Me, Baker, Brad and Amanda went to your house and I laid on the little couch with your blanket full of dog hair, my allergies went crazy but I didnt care. I think about your family everyday and think about how hard this much be for them.. They raised the best son with the biggest heart. Brady always talks about you along with everyone else. We all love you so much and I just think back to when we were all at the hosiptal and we filled one waiting room along with the hallway with people and the how many lives you have touched. I remember that day at Lexi's graduation and when I got there you made me a plate of food well I should say a plate of meat. LOL... We were going to do our tradition Karo